To Victory!
by WickedSheWolf
Summary: I was standing in front of Danse's quarters. His door was closed but I could hear him busily typing on a terminal inside. I was a little worried why he wanted to see me. Danse had been incredibly hard on me since he accepted me into the fold. Given my clumsy nature and itchy trigger-finger, I was also surprised to hear he had field promoted me to Knight. But what could he want now?
1. Secrets

A little bit of overview for the readers who I hope don't get too cross with me. This is obviously a Fic derived from Fallout 4 (IF YOU HAVEN'T COMPLETED IT YET, SPOILERS ARE WITHIN, SO HALT!) I was dying to write some Sole Survivor/Danse romance. He's an amazing character with, what I felt, tons of layers of angst. But if you've ever gallivanted the Commonwealth, you'll find there isn't a lot of dialogue to work with, so some of his lines may be a tad out of character, bear with me.

On another note, this is my first piece I've written since I had my son two years ago, so the flow will seem a bit choppy and for that I apologize. This is also my first time experimenting with first person (which generally I'm really opposed to) for any errors, I again, apologize! With that being said, I hope you enjoy!

This story is **M** and is suggested for only those 16+

This story has adult themes throughout, I'll tag incoming bits with an **M**. Feel free to skim over it if you'd like!

* * *

 **SEC** **RETS**

I don't remember, what brought me to the Brotherhood. Guts and glory isn't exactly my forte, but as I came to find out, I made a pretty damn good soldier. I chock it up to being stubborn, but my husband had always tried to convince me I had a glorious sense of justice. I think, ultimately, I was lost... and these men and women seemed to know what they were doing. A chance at just a wisp, a taste, of the life I once had. Order and goals, something to keep my mind busy. Something to clean up all the clutter, dust it off, get all the cogs working again. Waking up 200 years into the future is frustratingly jarring.

I often sat and reflected on that. The question was like a constant gnaw in me. But getting lost in your thoughts around Rhys was never advised. Unfortunately for me, it was a frequent occurrence.

 _"Aren't you supposed to be doing something?"_

My body jerked back, stiffening under his gaze.

"Uhh, yes. Er, sorry." I blinked quietly at him. The snarl forming on his face was unnerving. Although we were of equal rank, Rhys always intimidated me.

I continued cleaning my weapon with precise fingers trying to pretend he wasn't looming over me like a gargoyle. After a moment of him watching me I paused and looked up at him with a breathy sigh. "Rhys, I think I can clean a pipe rifle without supervision." Oh. That was like lighting a short fuse on a mortar.

 _"If that were the case Delta, there wouldn't be dirt and ghoul brain jammed up in your scope!"_ he jerked the gun from my hand and put the end of the scope under my nose. I grimaced and put my hand between my face and the shoddy, raider favored weapon.

"You know, I could have cleaned that if you weren't badgering me," I quipped with a furrowed brow. I could see the anger boiling in the corners of his mouth and the weird creases in his forehead.

 _"You're a fail-"_ He was cut short by a figure in the doorway. We were both silent as Paladin Danse strode into the center of the room. He picked up the pipe rifle and turned it over in his hands.

 _"What is going on in here? Are you trying to attract every ghoul from here to the Capital Wasteland?"_ Rhys opened his mouth to speak, looking like a gargoyle faced goldfish. I just stood there with that submissive look Danse always seemed to make me give. _"You two are getting on my last nerve. We're soldiers, not bickering children. Now I want every weapon cleaned, loaded and ready in one hour."_ I looked up with a sour look of a petulant child. He sternly set his jaw and raised a brow. _"Understood Knight Delta?"_

"Without question," I said flatly, shooting Rhys and venomous glare. Haylen walked in and looked at our trio and pursed her lips cautiously before leaving through the door she came in. A wise decision. No one wanted to be around when Danse was on the war path.

Danse nodded. _"Good. Delta, when you've finished here, please come see."_ Why were the military types so cryptic? I gave him a brushed yessir and started the daunting task of cleaning ten incredibly grimy weapons. One of which happened to fire miniature nuclear bombs. There was no other activity I could possibly want to do with my day.

I was standing in front of Danse's quarters. His door was closed but I could hear him busily typing on a terminal inside. I was a little worried why he wanted to see me. Danse had been incredibly hard on me since he accepted me into the fold. Given my clumsy nature and itchy trigger-finger, I was also surprised to hear he had field promoted me to Knight. But what could he want now? I fiddled with my uniform until I heard him stand up and approach the door. He flung it open, paperwork in his hands and ran into me.

I could feel his collarbone make contact with the ridge above my eye and I immediately cursed. Much like the distress call of a wounded cow.

" **Fuck**." Red flushed my face like a ink to paper. I stood there, half bent over, cradling the side of my face, looking like an utter fool, like usual. I wasn't very graceful, which was very apparent to my superior officer by now.

 _"Delta?"_ he said hitching a brow and drawing back a corner of his mouth.

"Oh, I'm so- shit- sorry, I was just, waiting- I mean, getting ready. You asked for me sir?"

 _"Oh, yes. Get your things together, I'm bringing to aboard the Prydwen."_

"The who?"

 _"The ship. It's... it's a ship. Just, get your gear Knight. You have five minutes."_

"Permission to ask why, sir?"

 _"I want you to meet the Elder. We have business to discuss."_

"Oh... oh! Okay. I mean, swell. Awesome. Five minutes." I smiled enthusiastically. Danse sighed and gave me a one over. The usual response. I would never understand why he disliked me so much. He promoted me, so it was obvious I was doing well. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was a disappointment. Despite these things, I kept trying. Danse's approval meant more to me than I cared to admit.

Hurriedly I gathered my gear, happily said goodbye to Rhys and the only person he liked, Haylen. As I followed Danse out the door and into the sunlight I could feel that familiar burn of Commonwealth air. Ah, nothing like radiation to start the day. I hadn't, really, been out of Vault 111 long enough to adjust to the radiation. It was different than what I'd been used to. I looked up to see Danse ahead of me and quickly skip stepped beside him. His power armor rumbled and groaned with each movement. I quietly kept up with him, as he led me to a Vertibird. I marveled at it for a moment and eagerly climbed inside.

He must have noticed the smug grin on my face and I thought I saw him crack a smile. _"You haven't seen anything yet, kid."_ I excitedly sat back as we took off. I watched through the door hatch as we passed over the Commonwealth. Up that high it didn't seem so ugly, so torn and desperate. It seemed serene, almost beautiful. Somewhere you could raise your children, settle down and die of old age. But that wasn't our reality anymore. Super mutants, radiation, raiders, death, murder - that was the reality I had to live now. I slept for two hundred years and woke up in hell. I'd seen things I never want to see again and met people who seemed to be demons in this twisted little world. Like the man who stole my baby. I'd seen his past. The pain and misery, yet I still feel no pity on that man. I fit into this new world just right I guess. I had killed my fair share of people. Men and women. It was the way this world worked. Kill or be killed. Live to fight another day. Two hundred years ago I was a house wife. I had a law degree. I lived down the lane, made pies, listened to the Silver Shroud with my son. I didn't kill people. I didn't fight.

 _"Delta?"_ Danse noticed the look on my face. Despair, to put it simply. He knew I was from Vault 111, but nothing more. I turned around and smiled at him weakly. He pointed above us. _"There she is. Beautiful."_ I looked up to see the beautiful air ship in all her steely glory. My mouth gaped a bit, eyes glazing over.

"She's... breathtaking," I whispered. He nodded silently at my amazement.

We boarded the Prydwen just as radiation storm hit. The guards ushered us inside the Command Deck. The inside smelled like hot metal and bleach. It was something I wasn't used to. Danse led me to the room directly across from us. A large set of windows, Brotherhood flags lining each side. Inside, stood a man I could assume was Elder Maxson.

A tall fellow with a lumberjack beard, chiseled features and two beady brown eyes. I felt oppression the moment I stood in front of him. Danse introduced me cordially and went about explaining my field promotion. Watching him talk to someone else like he was walking on glass was interesting. I could tell he idolized Maxson. A solider would have as well, without question. But I had my reservations. I judged based on actions, not rumors or blind love.

 _"Knight Delta,"_ Maxson said with a gruff voice like his was swallowing flannel. My eyes perked, my hands resting behind my back.

"Yes Elder?" I said firmly.

 _"I want to formally welcome you to the Brotherhood. Based on Paladin Danse's praise, we are happy to have you among the ranks."_

"Thank you sir. I appreciate it." Danse looked at me sideways. Disappointed I'm sure. "It's an... honor to meet you," _your holiness_. I wasn't about to treat this king of the wasteland like he was the Pope. A ragtag king on a ragtag hill. I shook his hand firmly and followed Danse to the ladder leading to the Main Deck. He stopped briefly and glanced at the Elder.

 _"I want you to get acquainted with everyone here. I'll meet you at your quarters as soon as you're finished."_

"Yes sir."

 _"And Delta. Please, watch your sarcasm. You're among ranking officers here. Remember that."_

"Of course."

The meet and greet with the dwellers of the Prydwen was extremely dull. It's like no one in that rust bucket had a sense of humor. A few of them could have stood a good leave or to get laid. It was like being frozen all over again. Cade, the medical officer looked at me like I was going to be a great cadaver. Ingram, who oversaw matience, looked and smelled like a mole rat. She was nice enough, assigning me power armor and some advice, but very standoffish. Teagan was probably the only soul with some semblance of humanity. We talked a bit about weapons and traded and few things. But other than that it was a complete bust.

I met Danse in the barracks where I would be staying. He was out of power armor again, which was always odd to see. It was like seeing a really hairy dog shaved down.

He pointed to a bed and a footlocker. _"This'll be you,"_ he motioned to the raggedy bed. _"And I'm just over there. Apparently there was a busted valve over my quarters, so I'm in here for the night."_ He seemed like he wanted me to know he was watching me. I sighed deeply and sat down on the edge of my bed. _"Head is down the hall. Get some rest Knight, we have work to do first light."_

After settling in for the night, I found myself unable to sleep. The constant rumblings of the ship kept my bloodshot eyes from closing. When sleep finally graced me, it was plagued with nightmares.

I dreamt of Shaun and Nate. I dreamt of our lives before the fallout, of picnics, barbecues and Christmas. Of Shaun being born, holding him for the first time. Sleepless nights, lazy Sundays and the taste of fresh coffee. But I could only hold onto those airy thoughts for so long. Suddenly everything was red. I watched my husband die, over and over again, as I gazed on helplessly. I screamed with everything inside of me. I listened as my only son, my Shaun was taken from me. I pounded on the glass and begged them to bring him back. Without warning, Nate was alive again. His skin mutated, eyes sunken, his humanity rotted away. He was a ghoul, clawing from his tube and coming towards mine. The glass broke and splintered. An ear shattering alarm sounded, red lights flashed. I could feel his cold, dead fingers grabbing at me, peeling at my flesh. I screamed so loud my throat seized up. Tears and blood running down my cheeks. Suddenly I could taste it in my mouth.

 _"Damn it Delta, WAKE UP!"_ My body jarred, my head snapped forward. I was soaked in sweat, my heart beating so hard I thought I was on the cusp of death. Danse had my shoulders in his hands, shaking me so violently I was sure I would have permanent damage. It felt like a hot iron had sliced through the skin on my cheek. It registered then, that he had slapped me so hard my lip had begun to bleed. I gave a dry sob and spit out a mouthful of blood. _"You're dreaming, you were only dreaming."_ I sputtered at him and pulled the sheets close to my body. _"Calm down Delta,"_ he said, his voice somewhat less demanding than usual.

"I can't- they took him," I took a sharp breath and blinked the tears from my eyes. "I'm sorry." I tried to bottle it up, control it. I hadn't really cried since the Vault. It was only a matter of time. I let a small sob slip and wiped my eyes roughly. "I'm fine, I'm fine," I chanted until he let me go. He sat there on the edge of my bed, shirtless, a pair of dog-tags swaying back and fourth. "Everything is fine," I whispered. He wasn't convinced.

 _"You woke up half the damn ship,"_ he said scratching the back of his head. _"Is... there something you want to... talk about?"_

"No," I snapped at him, pushing the heels of my hands against my temples, trying to contain the pounding. I hadn't noticed his kindness in that moment. All I could think of was Nate, my husband, how he wore dog-tags, how he would wake up much the same, in fits of rage or fear. How I would be comforting him. In Danse's silhouette I saw my dead husband. "Just... I'm fine. It was a nightmare."

 _"Who did they take?_ " he asked, staring at me.

"No one. It was a dream."

 _"If this is going to be a problem Knight, I need to know about it. I've staked my reputation, my credibility on you."_

"It wont be. It doesn't matter."

 _"Fox."_ He used my first name, an extremely rare occurrence. My head snapped up, rage filled eyes. It was like I was staring at my husband. That tone, concerned, angry, it was like I was being dragged back into that dream.

"I said, I'm fine." I was firm, mean. Danse narrowed his eyes at me. He stood up and walked back to his bunk. He paused in the dark.

 _"You kept yelling the name Shaun,"_ he stated, almost goading. That was all he said, before getting back into bed.

I immediately felt ashamed. I pulled the covers over my head and didn't get another wink of sleep the rest of the night.

The morning was tedious. My head was pulsating like a minefield. Danse was being particularly crotchedy. I assume he didn't get much sleep either. Everyone looked at me like I was a glowing mirelurk walking around. I think they were all pretty miffed over my nocturnal outburst. I kept my head down and followed orders.

After breakfast, Danse briefed me on our mission. We were pushing a siege on a super mutant base. We needed a stockpile of mini nukes that they were guarding.

I always hated fighting greenskins. They were terrifying large, fearless with awful tempers. Often they sent out suicide bombers, which had exploded all over me more than once. It was never enjoyable. The heat of battle could be exciting, unless you were covered in irradiated intestines.

We loaded into the Vertibird, neither of us saying a word. I manned the mini-gun attached to her side as Danse was on overlook.

En route to the location, he broke the silence between us. _"I didn't sponsor you no reason, Delta,"_ he said gruffly over the whir of the bird. _"Keep secrets from me, that's fine, but if that secret ends up killing one of our brothers, I will not let you remain with us. Not in good conscious."_

In an agitated, annoying mood, I rolled my eyes and gripped the gun tightly. "You watch my back, I'll watch yours," I stated. _A fuck off you wretched troll_ , in not so many colorful words.

 _"Ad Victoriam,"_ he said nodding at me. Bite me. Oh, I was not in the mood today.

As we neared the base, I could see the mutants springing to life. There were plenty to target, but my eyes snapped to the Behemoth. With the mini-gun primed, I opened fire on it with the rage seething inside me. It was only a matter of seconds until it was green swiss cheese, falling to the blood soaked pavement. I took out a few of them gathering around to clear a landing spot for our pilot.

We were on the ground in no time. Danse took point, leading the way to a caved in building. We cleared it quickly and he took a knee beside me. _"There's at least four by the entrance. I'll smoke them out, your way."_ I nodded in response and took position.

Danse rushed them, full power armor, shattering the air with his rifle. Two of them fell into two glowing piles of soot. Two headed my way, avoiding Danse like frightened cockroaches. I pulled a grenade from my chest rig, pulled the pin and threw it over their heads. It comically hit the third in the face and clattered to his feet. He shouted something before being engulfed in the shrapnel of pavement and steel.

I immediately opened fire on them. My assault rifle was an extension of my body. All I could see was red, rushing and eddying around me like a river of blood. I couldn't stop as a I screamed and gunned them down mercilessly. All that rage the night before exploded inside of me like a ticking time bomb. If I had stopped to see Danse, he was watching, mouth agape. I ignored him shouting at me as I kicked in the front door, lobbing another grenade in with heady excitement. The interior exploded into splinters and shrapnel. I don't know how many there were or how far I went until he stopped me.

 _"I said stand down soldier!"_ Danse shouted, slamming me against a wall and pulling the gun from my clenched fingers with ease. _"Are you fucking insane?"_ he shouted at me, his face inches from mine.

"Oh, so it's okay when you or Rhys go full on Rambo, but not me, right? Not Delta because she's weak, because she's damaged, because she's the house wife from Boston Commons and she'll die? _Right?_ " I couldn't stop. It was like I was spiraling out of control and I was losing my grip on that rope that kept me tethered. "I get it, Danse, you're the soldier, I'm the feeble-minded woman. I don't get to be the hero. I get to polish boots and bring you fucking coffee, I get-" I was cut short as he slammed his armored fist into the concrete wall next to my head, leaving a small fist-sized crater.

 _"Damn it Delta, you will get yourself killed! Or worse, someone else!"_ I'd never seen him so angry. His eyes were burning holes into my head.

"I know what I'm doing! I don't need help. And I definitely don't need a blind, obsessed, self-righteous, militant sheepdog!"

 _"This isn't about me. This isn't even about you,"_ he said through gritted teeth. _"This is about Shaun,"_ he added. _"Isn't it?"_ I refused to answer. So he got louder. _"Isn't it?"_

"You don't know what you're talking about," I seethed, shaking my head and lowering my eyes.

 _"Who is Shaun?"_

"Don't you fucking do this to me," I shouted at him, trying to shove him off of me. Which is pretty difficult when your assailant is in power armor.

 _"You will tell me, right now Knight or so help me I will drag you back to the air force base and have you forcefully thrown in the brigg until you're ninety years old and irradiated so badly you have no nose on your smug little face"_

"He was my son!" I shouted at him. The words were like bile on my tongue. I felt my stomach heave, my eyes burn. My throat tightened, my chest heaved like I was under a rock. Danse blinked, his grip loosened and I felt my feet touch the ground. My shoulder screamed where he was holding me. I crumpled to the floor like I was made of glass and just shattered at his feet. "He was my baby," I sobbed through tears. "He was my baby and they just took him," I whispered into my hands. Danse stood there, awkwardly.

 _"I had... I had no idea,"_ he said unsteadily.

"No, but you just had to push it didn't you? You had to push me. You always do." I said regaining the strength in my legs. "You're all the same. You use people, you use them up until there is nothing left. Everyone in this fucked up piece of shit world just uses everyone up. Especially you Brotherhood pricks." I was seething.

 _"I'm not using you, Delta."_

"Oh no? Then why do you make me feel worthless? Is it too much to ask for a thank you?"

 _"I am thankful."_

"Then why don't you say it. I saved your life and you act like you're doing me the favor!"

 _"That's not fair, I did thank you."_ He was getting mad again. People like Danse were easy to upset when it all came down to it.

"Do me a favor and go fuck yourself with your thank you. I'm done."

 _"No. No you're not, Knight. You have a mission to finish."_

"Bite me. Last time I checked this anarchist piece of shit world we live in hasn't changed. Fuck you, fuck Maxson and fuck the Brotherhood," I steamed. With every word I spoke I watched him tighten like a wire. And that last comment snapped the wire into a million pieces. "Ya know what, why does it matter what I do? I could go join a raider gang tomorrow and it wouldn't affect you in the least."

 _"Because I care about you,"_ he shouted, hoisting me up and planting me on my feet like I was merely a toddler having a tantrum. He picked up my rifle and shoved it into my hands. _"You go blow yourself in the name of self-pity. Drink yourself into oblivion, shoot up with Jet until your head spins,"_ he growled, _"But don't you **dare** , make me and what I love a part of it. I will not watch you destroy yourself. Not while I have a say in it godammit."_ He shut me up with ease.

I felt like a complete ass. The rifle almost fell from my hands I was so flabbergasted. "I'm... I'm sorry Danse. I just..."

 _"I'm going to pretend this conversation never happened. Let's finish the job. Fortunately, in your blaze of self-loathing bloodlust, you managed to not only kill every one of these monsters, but blew out a wall eliminating the need for that terminal over there. Which is... also blown to kingdom come,"_ he said, reloading his weapon and walking away as if it never happened.

"Oh... oh." I still couldn't wrap my head around the situation.

 _"So, despite your blatant disregard for your own safety, and mine, I might add, mission accomplished. Good job."_

"Thank you, sir."

 _"Let's get the hell out of here and bring the Elder the good news."_

 **M**

We arrived at the Prywen like decorated heroes. Danse, told everyone I was heroic, brave, tactical and amazing. Which, we both knew was a complete lie. I looked at him differently after that. He wasn't just a military lapdog run by duty and honor. The stockpile of mini nukes was a great asset to the Brotherhood, so the Initiates celebrated on the base with some hooch (which tasted and smelled a lot like mole rat) that night. I wasn't very interested in partying, but found a cold shower and bed infinitely more appealing.

I guess Danse shared my hatred for partying, because I found him in the barracks. With nothing but fatigue pants, dog-tags and a book on military tactics. I was glad to not think of Nate upon seeing him. Instead I saw a man I respected. A man I would follow into battle. I sat down quietly on the edge of my bed and watched him, giving him the peace and quiet. I took him in, brown eyes, brown hair, that weird scar over his eye that mirrored mine, only a bit more crooked. He didn't share my pale complexion or freckles. Oh yeah, I'd been cut off from light and the outside world for two-hundred years. Still working on that tan.

I finally broke the silence, "Danse," I said quietly. He didn't look up, just flipped the page in his book. "Your quarters still under maintenance?" He sighed and flicked his eyes up briefly.

 _"It's flooded, actually."_ I held in a laugh and gave my blue eyes a slight roll. _"So looks like I'm in here for a few more nights, unfortunately."_

"Well, looks like it's just us tonight," I said looking around at the empty beds.

 _"Bunch of drunken fools,"_ he sighed, eyes on his book.

"What you don't drink? Like, ever?"

 _"On rare, rare occasions. I don't like being off guard."_

"Ah." I answered, laying down on my stomach and propping my chin on my hands. "So, that incident..."

 _"I don't know what you're referring to, soldier,"_ he said, looking up to meet my eyes. He raised a brow and made a notion with his finger, along his nose. _Mum's the word._ I chuckled and decided to end the conversation there. I wasn't trying to push my luck. _"Delta,"_ he said, catching me off guard. _"I really am sorry. About your son."_ I didn't answer, just nodded and gave him a weak smile.

"We can't rewind the past, Danse," I sighed, rubbing my eyes. "But, I hope I see him again one day."

 _"I hope you do too."_ Now I understood why he didn't want secrets between the two of us. To be one on the battlefield, he needed to know my weaknesses. He was my family now. The Brotherhood was all I had. Just like him. He took it so seriously I thought he was obsessed. He wasn't, I was... Chasing the past like a madwoman. Chasing a family that was gone.

I wanted to crawl under my covers and sleep, but I didn't want to stop talking to him. I wanted to know his secrets too. I wanted to be one of the front-line with him. So, I pushed it, just a little. "I care about you too," I breathed, feeling uneasy. He looked up again, this time, his eyes soft. He didn't say anything, just gave me a grin.

 _"In spite of decorum,"_ he began, standing up and rummaging through his footlocker, _"I think we deserve to celebrate too."_ He presented a bottle of whiskey. I couldn't remember the last time I drank and my throat nervously exposed a laugh. _"Just a glass."_

"Paladin Danse, I think you're trying to ply me with liquor so I'll tell you all my secrets." Oh god, did I just say that? To my surprise, the man actually blushed. This six-foot-something lumberjack, G.I Joe blushed and nervously smiled. I chuckled and sat up, accepting a cup of whiskey. I took a small smell and I swear my nose screamed at me.

Two hours later, the party down on the base was still in full swing. In the barracks, Danse was describing hand-to-hand combat to me. I sat on the edge of my bed listening intently as he showed me a move that pinned your assailant to the ground on their belly.

"Wait. Wait, so you, like- Danse. Danse. I think I might be a lightweight. I'm only guessing here, but... there's two of yous, currently." Oh, I was three sheets to the wind.

 _"Knight, if two cups of whiskey go to your head, I'm extremely disappointed in you."_

"That's not," I hiccuped and shook my head vigorously, "That's not fair. I spent two hundred years in cryo. My body is not acquainted. Wait. Hold on. Accccclimated to alcohol anymore. I don't even know, Danses. You two just show me that move again."

He sighed, _"Come here, I'll demonstrate it on you."_ I stood to my feet and gracelessly tiptoed up to him. _"Alright. Point your gun at me."_ I raised my hand to his head and pointed my middle finger and pointer finger in faux pistol fashion. _"Alright, you take this arm-"_

"Wait, what if I had two guns. Akimbo style," I pointed my other hand at him. He rolled his eyes and grabbed my right arm, spinning me around and pinning it behind my back. With my back flush to him, he grabbed my other hand and pinned it down to my side. He then easily removed the "gun" from my right hand and as he stepped backwards, tripped over his footlocker. In a poor effort to avoid falling over, I tried to grab onto the shelf next to his bunk and ended up body slamming the poor man. Laying there silently on top of him he sighed.

 _"You smell like a saloon."_

"Well you smell like gun polish and mothballs." We both immediately started laughing. I sat up, now straddling him. I think I lost all conscious thought in that moment, because before I could stop my intoxicated self, I was pushing my lips against his. For a brief moment he just laid there and let me. I knew I liked him, in a twisted way I always had, but not in a million years, had I ever entertained making any bold moves.

He sat up and grabbed my shoulders, pushing me gently backwards. He took a shallow breath and gave his head a stern, single shake.

 _"Why... if I misled you in any way, Delta, that was not my intention."_ Now it was my turn to blush. I felt like a fool.

"I-I, hey this is your fault." Fox 101: When embarrassed blame the opposite person. Immediately.

 _"My fault? I think you need to have your head checked."_ He roughly stood me up and walked away.

"Yeah, you can't just say 'Oooh, I care about you,' liquor me up, flirt with me-"

 _"Flirt? You think this was flirting?"_

"Of course it was. I might have been born two-hundred years ago, but I'm not completely inept."

 _"I beg to differ."_

"So you don't care about me then?"

 _"Don't be so thick headed, of course I do. I said it, didn't I?"_

"So what's the problem?"

 _"I'm your superior officer and it's against-"_

"Shove the rulebook up your ass, Danse. I was an idiot to think you were different. You really are a lapdog. Was that care crap just part of getting me back into Maxson's Dream Team?"

 _"No!"_

"If this all your life is, I feel so sorry for you. I really do. Don't you have dreams? What if none of this existed? You couldn't be a mindless drone."

 _"You don't know anything about me,"_ he snapped.

"Well gee, no one does."

 _"You want to know my dreams? THIS was my dream. Not living on the street was my dream. Not scuffling for food, selling junk in Rivet City was MY dream. I'm sorry we can't all live in a vault our whole lives and judge everyone around us because things are different. I grew up in this world, Delta, I know what it's like. You don't."_

"Fuck you, I had everything ripped away from me. Don't tell me I'm naive. You're making excuses so you don't have to feel anything. It's easier to just take orders than be a human being."

I jumped as he crossed the room swiftly, grabbing my wrists in his hands and pulling me closer to him. His eyes met mine and winced at the flicker inside them.

 _"Why isn't it good enough for you? Why can't this be good enough for you? Why do I have to tell you what I'm thinking!"_

"Because I want to feel something!" I yelled at him, "I want to stop thinking about them! And you are my one good possibility. You are my one chance. Just tell me what you want to say. Tell me I'm not what you want. Tell me."

Without a word he was kissing me. He hoisted me up onto his waist and pushed me up against the wall. One would think he had a thing for walls at this point. I couldn't even breathe it happened so fast. His mouth was on my jaw, down the side of my neck. All I could do was gasp and try to keep up. He lingered on my throat and worked a hand inside of my fatigue shirt. With a little moan I let my head fall back and his mouth made it's way down to my collarbone. I pushed my hips against him and elicited a gruff moan.

He picked me up, impatiently and threw me down on the bed. He went to work like he was an expert. He ripped my shirt from shoulder to shoulder and put his mouth to work on my chest. My toes curled and my hands clutched the edge of his pants. Two hundred years without feeling skin was too much.

Eagerly, I slipped my hands down his pants and rubbed the palm of my hands on his briefs. He groaned hotly against my skin. I gave a small gasp, and worked on him feverishly. He couldn't wait anymore, and pulled down my pants, exposing me. With ease, he flipped me over to my stomach. He hiked up my leg with his arm and placed me without missing a beat. He leaned forward and in a heady voice said, _"This is what I want."_ Slowly but firmly, he pushed himself inside of me. I whimpered, scared, excited, hotly I gasped.

"Oh god." He moved slow but hard, making sure to let me adjust. My hands grasped the bars of the bed so hard my knuckles were white. I tried so stifle my moans out of fear of being found but he made me feel like nothing else mattered. He thrusted hard, on purpose, and I barely contained a very loud, guttural moan. He did it again, and I whimpered with pleasure. He did it once more, this time, grabbing the bars, his hands beside mine.

 _"Is that what you want?"_ he said so coyly, I almost passed out... I nodded weakly. He didn't let up. Slowly, hard, with purposeful force he brought me back against him. _"I can't hear what you said, soldier."_

"Yes," I moaned in a hot whisper. Everything inside of me was screaming. His hands moved to my hips, putting more pressure inside of me.

 _"I want to hear you say it,"_ he picked up speed, slipping a hand down between my legs. I had no idea Danse was capable of being so merciless. I couldn't even think. I didn't know where I was, who I was or what year it was. _"Fucking say it,"_ he said, moaning, his hot breath on the nape of my neck. His movements had me at his mercy.

"I want it," I moaned loudly.

 _"Good girl,"_ he rewarded me with a rhythmic movement on his fingertips between my legs. My breathing picked up as I felt the room spin, everything turning into colors. I was on the cusp as he guided me with his thrusts. As I neared the end, he flipped me over, gently, but hard. I thudded onto my back and met his glossy brown eyes. I could tell it had been a long time for him too. The look in eyes was totally carnal. I'd seen that look before, briefly, when I had lost myself on the battlefield. I think this was some sort of revenge for him. He wanted me to listen to him. Good thing I can follow orders when I want to.

"Oh yes," I moaned, closing the gap between reality and desire. "Don't stop, please, don't stop." I thought I saw a grin on his face before he leaned down and kissed me, biting my lip and breathing against me. I wanted to just lose myself right there. Exist in that moment for the rest of my life. I would spend 200 years frozen there any day.

The air seemed to spark, as we both glided down that edge together, heaving. His teeth found their way to my collarbone again, as he muffled the last groan into bone and skin. A sinewy mess of heat, lust and alcohol.

After we had finished the one thing he would risk discharge for, he picked me up and set me atop of him and just looked at me like I was something to behold. In that dusky, wasteland light, I couldn't see him, nor the smile of his face. But I knew that with him by my side, I might be okay. I might make it through this life destiny had hurled me into.

 _"There she is. Beautiful."_


	2. The Signal Interceptor

A little bit of overview for the readers who I hope don't get too cross with me. This is obviously a Fic derived from Fallout 4 ( **IF YOU HAVEN'T COMPLETED IT YET, SPOILERS ARE WITHIN, SO HALT!** ) I was dying to write some Sole Survivor/Danse romance. He's an amazing character with, what I felt, tons of layers of angst. But if you've ever gallivanted the Commonwealth, you'll find there isn't a lot of dialogue to work with, so some of his lines may be a tad out of character, bear with me.

On another note, this is my first piece I've written since I had my son two years ago, so the flow will seem a bit choppy and for that I apologize. This is also my first time experimenting with first person (which generally I'm really opposed to) for any errors, I again, apologize! With that being said, I hope you enjoy!

This story is **M** and is suggested for only those 16+

This story has adult themes throughout, I'll tag incoming bits with an **M**. Feel free to skim over it if you'd like!

* * *

 **THE SIGNAL INTERCEPTOR**

First light came harshly in columns of dingy yellow. Freckles of dust wafted through the beams like little travelers, resting wherever the fell. The smell of cooking food woke me from my slumber. It didn't smell appealing- I hadn't quite adjusted to the food here yet. Iguana-on-a-Stick was just... revolting. Better than Mole Rat barbecue I suppose.

I could recall falling asleep, but last night's rendezvous came crashing down on me like a mini-nuke. I sat up, the sheets falling from me as I frantically looked around. The barracks was empty, as if I had dreamt last night. I rubbed the side of my head, seriously regretting ingesting that whiskey Danse had hidden in his footlocker. Speaking of, he wasn't in his own bunk. I jumped up hastily and threw on my uniform, almost forgetting to pull on a pair of boots. I stopped in front of a dingy mirror and looked at my face. Which resembled a ghoul, sunken in eyes, frazzled hair. I wrinkled my nose and slicked myself up quickly.

The Prydwen was hushed as everyone nursed their bruised egos and hangovers. I could hear some poor retching, and everyone poked at their breakfast. I would be passing on breakfast for the time being. I passed through the deck silently, my eyes darting to and fro. What had happened last night, was fresh in my mind. My stomach jolted as I laid eyes on Danse, who was nonchalantly sipping coffee and going over paperwork with a Scribe. I didn't dare to interrupt. I grabbed my own cup of coffee, which anyone who knew me would notice, considering I hated coffee. I took a seat at a random table, between two initiates who were trying their best not to vomit. They traded jokes about hangovers and excused themselves. I sipped my coffee and pretended to be interested in a conversation a table over.

 _"Delta, the hero,"_ one of them said, raising a glass to me. I blushed and shook my head.

"Oh, not me. I'm just a survivor. Truth be told, Danse did all the work," I chuckled. They all laughed and shook their heads. I kept stealing glances at my sponsor, wondering exactly what was going through his head. He finally looked up, and saw me. Nothing on his face registered. He stared at me and finally beckoned for me to come over. I stood to my feet, almost leaving my fake coffee.

As I approached his table, he motioned for me to sit. I sat, uncomfortably, my eyes focused on the table instead of him. He was quiet for a moment, shuffling the paperwork, drinking his coffee. Finally, he broke the silence was his gruff voice. _"We have a new mission for you. Keys wants us to recover distress beacons from a lost recon team."_

"Okay," I breathed, cracking my knuckles nervously.

 _"You should be able to pick them up on that Pip-Boy of yours,"_ he added. I was getting a little impatient. I knew we couldn't talk about last night in front of all these people, but I did feel like it needed a discussion, in the very least. I refused to broach it, however. _"So meet me in twenty on the deck."_ And with that, he stood up and walked away, papers in hand. I let out a noisy sigh and let my head crumple on the table in front of me. I never remembered men being this difficult pre-world-collapse.

I met Danse on the deck, he in his power armor, I in full combat gear. He looked me over, gave a stern nod and boarded the Vertibird. I gave my eyes a half roll and followed him aboard.

The flight was quiet, but the tension was palpable. I hated every minute. With every passing second I wanted to punch him in the lip, more and more. The fact that I had a splitting migraine was not helping matters much. He seemed peachy, however, cleaning his rifle and chatting with out pilot like the world was just sunshine and rainbows.

As we touched down, god knows where, I picked my assault rifle up and watched the Vertibird churr away into the distance. I didn't even look at the Paladin, or speak to him. I tuned in my Pip-Boy to the distress frequency and started hoofing it. He followed me silently, save for the whirring and clunking of his suit. The signal faded now and then, and I had to give my junked up gadget a few taps as the screen fizzed, but it led us to the first beacon with ease.

We huddled up in an old shack, evaluating our targets. Because this was the post-apocalyptic wasteland and nothing ever happened smoothly. Sex was no exception, apparently.

 _"Looks like three of them. There could be more inside that building,"_ he stated in his authoritative voice which at that moment I found increasingly annoying. _"I'll flank and you-"_

I stood to my feet, took aim and shot two in the head with an expertise I was slowly expanding. The third Raider, take aback by the juicy splatter of his comrades' brains stumbled over and reached for his pipe revolver. It gave me ample time to aim and hit his throat. He gasped, spurred and finally fell like a sack of flour.

 _"Not exactly cautious but..."_ I walked away before he could finish his sentence. I was scavenging a body when he came up behind me. _"I thought we discussed being reckless, Knight?"_

"I wasn't reckless, they're all dead, aren't they? Job done, now can we please keep moving, I'm not getting any younger."

 _"In case you forgot, I have point. Assessing the situation is far more useful than running in guns blazing."_

"Sorry I am so efficient, Paladin. Please, lead the way."

 _"I could do without the seething sarcasm,"_ he sighed, inspecting the door for traps which Raiders are so fond of.

"You know what, cut the bullshit for three seconds. Just, pause. Are we even going to approach the possibility of discussing last night?"

 _"What about last night?"_

"Well the fact that you had me taking a sexual dirt nap in the barracks. You know, nothing big."

 _"What happened, happened. I don't see the need to discuss it."_

"Oh. Ohhhhh, so is that like, a part of initiation?"

 _"Don't be ridiculous, it was just a momentary lapse in judgment. And I think it isn't very wise to be talking in the open like this. We're sitting ducks."_

I threw my hands up and faux laughed. "The man has really lost his marbles," I said to no one in particular. I pointed to a Raider corpse, "He thinks you've lost your marbles. I'm inclined to agree."

 _"Knight Delta, we're on duty. Get your shit together and help me breach this door or hump it back to the Prydwen where your sarcasm is better suited and infinitely more desired."_

I don't think I have ever hit someone so hard in my entire life. My fist met his chin like porcelain to steel. He gave me a surprised, disgruntled look and started in on regulations, superior officers and the like. I couldn't really hear any of it because I started walking away as if nothing had happened. He started after me, the words _brigg, stand down_ , and _so help me_ fell on my deaf ears.

I felt his hand on the crook of my elbow, but I recoiled, spinning around and glaring at him.

"I hate to break it to you, Paladin Danse, but outside of the Brotherhood, you don't own me. And if traveling half-way across this irradiated shit-hole means not having to talk to you anymore than I will _gladly_ do so."

 _"You have a mission, soldier._ "

"Yeah and I also have a freewill, which I will be holding a seminar on in Sanctuary. All proceeds will be going to ' _Soldiers Who Suck Ass'_ if you're interested. So please, save me the G.I Joe horse-shit and let me go about my business."

 _"If that's how you feel, Delta, than no one can stop you."_

"Thank fucking god," I seethed, and happily pivoted on my heel. I do feel somewhat bad, for leaving him there in that dried up patch of land, but my temper had always led me.

I walked three miles in the opposite direction. Other than a few wasteland bugs and half-starved Brahmin, little lay between. The whole trip, I silently plotted Danse's downfall but I knew I was in denial. He had hurt me and I had a hard time accepting that. He was the first person I had felt something for since I had met Nate and I wasn't ready to feel that kind of pain. It was like being stabbed repeatedly in the back with a rusty, lead pipe.

I'll skip explaining having to spend a night in a broken fridge and eating 200 year old Sugar Bombs. I reached Sanctuary in a day. Sturges and Garvy met me at the gates. Gates which I'd helped construct. People that had helped me as much as I helped them. But I found no fulfillment with the Minutemen.

 _"Fox Delta, as I live and breathe,"_ Garvy chuckled and shook my hand happily.

 _"I thought we had gotten rid of you for good,"_ Sturges quipped in.

"I'm like a radroach infestation, you'll never really get rid of me." We all exchanged laughs and they invited me to breakfast. Sanctuary had been doing good for itself since my departure. I mentioned so over some boiled eggs and they excitedly descried trade routes to me. They had taken in at least five more settlers, had a thriving crop of Tatos and even installed a water purification system. It was all very impressive. As I sat there with them, I couldn't shake the idea that Danse had just faded from my life like candlelight.

 _"What have you been up to anyway, Fox?"_

"Oh, this and that. Causing trouble in the Brotherhood."

 _"Oh those good ol' boys. I hope not too much."_

"Yeah, please don't tell me you're wanted or anything."

 _"I'll get back to you guys on that,"_ I said wincing and tapping my plate with a plastic fork.

Sturges smiled and handed my a paper. _"I managed to figure out that little task you left me with."_

"Shut up, really?" I said, grabbing the paper with excited hands. I looked it over, "These are the materials we need?" I said, standing up and running a hand through my hair. He nodded happily.

 _"Piece of cake. You get all that and we can build you a Signal Interceptor."_

"I can get all of this no problem," I said, shoving the paper in my pocket. "You have no idea how much this means, Sturges."

 _"Hey, we owe you a lot kid."_

"I'm two-hundred years older than you, but thanks," I chuckled, shouldering my rifle. I could hardly believe what was happening. I was one step closer to finding him. One step closer to finding my baby boy. One step close to those sons-of-bitches who stole him from my dying husband's arms.

I wasted no time in collecting the materials I needed. I left Sanctuary, list in hand.

I spent two days scavenging the Commonwealth for a sensor module, biometric scanner and military circuit board. I will admit the pieces eluded me a few times. I had been from top to bottom of two hospitals and cleared out an entire Raider camp in search for the materials necessary. I tore through packs of feral ghouls, bitter wastelanders, mole rats, wild dogs and Mr. Handys - the latter I always had trouble killing because I always thought of my always loyal robot butler, Codsworth. But I returned to Sanctuary, items in hand. I was met with an excited Sturges, who wanted to start the build immediately. I was more than happy to assist, though my knowledge was limited.

We spent the better half of a day building the monstrosity that he called the 'Signal Interceptor'. He was constantly reminding me of the risks as well as yelling at me for " _cutting the wrong wire_ " or " _getting in the way_." Despite his constant nagging and well-timed jokes, he was brilliant. We had almost finished the work, when it started raining so heavily, it soaked through my Brotherhood uniform in seconds.

Sturges threw a tarp over the equipment and scuttled inside like he was made of sugar. I stood there for a moment, marveling at the possibility of seeing my son again. The rain was welcome, trickling over me like a baptism. I wished I could share my excitement with the one person who understood my pain. Who took one look at me and thought I was worth his time. All those feelings were ushered in by the pitter patter of rain and I felt the familiar sting of tears. I tried to push them down, drown them out with the happiness I had driving me the last three days, but they demanded to be heard. I let them say their peace, there in that hot rain. The smell of wet earth was comforting, the distant roll of thunder peaceful.

I quietly trudged inside, where the settlers had started a cooking fire. They all ate and talked quietly, buzzing about my Frankenstein project just outside. Although I was glad for their comfort, I was jealous. Jealous that this was contentment to them. To me, it was just a waste. I would never find this place happy or home. It was not what I born into.

I stood outside, on the makeshift patio, staring out into the inky darkness and listened to the rhythm of the rain. I heard the caravan's brahmin sound off, shaking their sides to rid their backs of rain.

Through the blackness before me, I could see a figure. I instinctively loaded my rifle and stepped into the mud at my feet. "Fuck off, dirtbag," I growled, taking aim down my gun.

 _"Delta?"_

I knew it was him with just that one word.

"Danse?" I blinked at the rain beaded above my eyes a trickled down my cheeks. "What... what are you doing?" He stood there in front me, in his uniform, no power armor in sight. He was silent. "Look if you're here to-"

 _"I was wrong. Delta, I hurt you and that was not my intention._ "

"Danse... I appreciate that, but this isn't the greatest time-" He strode towards me, grabbed my shoulders and stared down at me with those immense brown eyes.

 _"Hear me out,"_ he said loudly over the roll of thunder. I let him speak. _"I'm not good with these kinds of things. You mean a lot to me. You've shown me that I'm not alone. And I would never forgive myself if I let you walk away. The Brotherhood needs you, Delta."_

"The Brotherhood." I looked down at my feet.

 _"And, maybe... maybe I need you too,"_ he breathed into the sticky night air. _"Come back to the Prydwen."_

"Danse, that's asking a lot. I slept in a fridge for god's sake."

 _"Well, I'm sorry about that- but we need you. I... I need you."_ I was speechless. _"In the very least, Knight Delta, can we get out of the rain?"_

I pulled him into a shed nearby. He ran his hand through his hair and flung drops of water every which way. I took a rocky breath, adjusting the strap of my rifle. "You really mean that?"

 _"Every word."_

Call me a fool, but I agreed to go back with him. I had the fullest confidence in Sturges' capabilities. He mentioned a hiccup in the power grid anyway, so I could afford to miss a few days of getting in his way.

We left the next morning, in the only acceptable Brotherhood fashion- Vertibird. The flight back was quiet, but unlike our last trip, it wasn't heated, nor awkward. Danse would occasionally point out landmarks, or explain the advantage of a particular place. I just nodded and listened to him. But I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that something was wrong. I pushed it aside, just happy to hear him again.

When we arrived at the Prydwen, Danse pulled me aside for a moment. _"Elder Maxson wants to speak with you."_ I mentally prepared myself for a horrible lecture. One about duty and honor and all of those fun things. I begrudgingly followed Danse to the Command Deck.

 _"Ah, Knight Delta, it's good to see you again,"_ Maxson greeted me with a smug grin. I glanced at Danse, then back to the Elder.

"The feeling is mutual, sir," I said slowly.

 _"The Brotherhood was happy to hear about your intel on the Institute, although, I was admit we were upset to hear you didn't approach us before with this information."_ I whipped my head back to Danse, who was standing there with his arms behind his back, his full attention on Maxson.

"Is this what you meant by need?"

 _"What the Elder is saying, Knight, is you've presented us with valuable means of infiltration."_

 _"Yes, when Paladin Danse told me you had built a Signal Interceptor I was surprised you had not brought this to my attention sooner. We finally have the means bring the Institute to its knees."_

I was absolutely fuming. The only thing keeping me from slapping Danse was the fact that I wasn't too fond of prison cells and mole rats that inhabited them. So I did the second best thing I could think of. I glared a hole into his face. Mentally, his hair was on fire and he was in the screaming throes of death. I quite enjoyed it.

Maxson went on to describe to me exactly what needed to be done. He wanted a holotape of information as well as Doctor Li's allegiance to the Brotherhood. After he shook my hand and mentally skipped around like he'd won the lottery, I turned on my heel and made a line to the ladder. Danse was hot on my heels. There was no way he was letting me leave.

I took the ladder two steps at a time and finally slid down onto the Common Deck. Danse without hesitating grabbed my arm, which I will add, I was pretty tired of, and stopped me in my tracks.

 _"Where are you going?"_

"I forgot my wedding ring in my footlocker. I must've left it there when you were plying me with copious amounts of liquor," I said loudly. Every pair of eyes on the deck swiveled in our direction. He quietly guided me to his quarters and shut the door behind us, locking it.

He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. "So this was your plan the whole time? To get me back here and use me to take out some twisted revenge Maxson has on synths?"

 _"No. I mean, yes. Look, when I heard about the project I had already decided to come find you. That was just, a tactical bonus."_

"Ough, I could just beat you with a pool cue right now you son-of-a-bitch."

 _"Please be rational for once-"_

"This is my LIFE, you are screwing with Danse. If I am going to the Institute, it is for my son, not your self-righteous, egotistical dictator Maxson."

 _"Lower your voice, Delta. And avoid speaking about the Elder that way. He's earned his position and has helped the Commonwealth more than you know."_

"I trusted you!"

 _"And I trusted you. But you left me on the battlefield."_

"Let me out of this door, right, now."

 _"Will you listen to me."_

"If I have to hear you for one more second I am liable to jump of this ship. You are, the single most-"

He cut me off, grabbing my waist and pulling me close to him. _"You will have to learn to trust me,"_ he breathed. _"I would never let any harm come to you. I would never use you. If you can't see that, maybe it's just a lost cause."_ His words stung, because I didn't know what to believe anymore. A part of me screamed at myself, the other trusted this man with my life.

 **\- M -**

"Danse..."

He brushed his lips against mine, softly. Closing the gap between us, he lifted me up to his waist and moved towards his desk. He set me on top of it, running his mouth down the side of my neck, towards my throat. He dragged his teeth over my skin and I clenched my eyes tightly. "Listen to me," I said in a breathy voice. He paused, taking the zipper at the top of my uniform and slowly pulled it down.

 _"Listen to me,"_ he said in a soft, gravely voice. I sighed inwardly, biting my lip, hard. He pushed my knees apart gently. The heels of his hands pushed the uniform off of my shoulders, down to the middle of my arms. I shivered.

 _"I don't know how to get this through your head,"_ he said his voice was as smooth as caramel but thick like smoke. He kissed my right shoulder, and used one hand to unclasp my bra. _"The Brotherhood is my life,"_ he continued, dropping my bra to the floor. His lips moved down my collarbone, his had dipped into the rim of my panties. _"There is nothing else,"_ his voice sounded more serious now as he pushed his hand against me. I held a moan in my chest. _"But when I first saw you, I knew,"_ his hand lingered between my legs and he took a breath. _"I wanted you."_ I leaned forward and laced my hands behind his neck and kissed him gently.

"So what's wrong with that?" I whispered into his lips. I could see the ghost of a smile stitching into his mouth.

 _"I don't think you understand,"_ he whispered back, moving his hand against me again with steady rhythm. I did my best to remain quiet. _"This is everything I know. This is me, Fox."_ He started pulling off my uniform and panties, working with diligence, slowly and steadily. _"I can't change for you. I can't be something I'm not."_

I sighed softly against his lips. "I don't want you to change-"

 _"I said listen,"_ he said roughly spreading my legs again. Revenge for insubordination. He really liked to flex his muscles behind closed doors. He guided my hand to his own zipper. I followed him, willingly. _"I can't be your dead husband- but I want to make you happy."_ It occurred to me that he had a very valid point. I was flooded with guilt. His uniform hung from his waist as took each of my legs in his hands. _"Would you like that?"_ he whispered into my ear. I nodded slowly, running my teeth over my bottom lip. Without warning, he slid into me, slowly, until I was sure I couldn't take it anymore. _"Tell me,"_ he said gruffly, letting go of one of my legs to prop himself against the wall. I swallowed a moan and sighed hard.

"I like it," I said in a steady whisper. This man was the same on the battlefield as he was in the bedroom. All orders and authority.

 _"Good,"_ he said, thrusting into me steadily, daring me to make a noise. This wasn't as rushed as the last time. He was proving something to me. If it wasn't evident that we were fraternizing in the middle of the day, just inches from the rest of the Prydwen's dwellers.

Danse picked up the pace, dragging his mouth over my shoulder, biting my neck lighting, muffling his groans into my skin. His touch was softer than before. He couldn't tell me what he was thinking, he had to show me. With his fingertips, he told me he wanted me. With his lips, I felt the whisper of concern. Against his skin I felt safe, confident. But I couldn't deny the void he would never fill. Love. I loved my husband and I loved Shaun. I didn't know if that was interchangeable. I didn't know if he wanted it to be. For him, this could be enough. But for me... it was a constant reminder that I was an alien in this new world.

I held in the bitter sting of tears as he leaned his forehead against mine. He noticed the sketches of sadness in the corners of my mouth and paused, running a hand down the angle of my jaw. He stopped what he was doing, kissed the side of my mouth gently and zipped himself up.

We didn't speak. I didn't know what to say and I know words were lost for him too. After we had replaced our uniforms, he lifted me from the desk and set me gently on my feet. I unlocked the door and pushed the cold steel heavily.

 _"Delta,"_ he said, his voice trailing off. I paused in the doorway of his quarters.

"I'll do it," I sighed, clutching the door-frame. "I'll talk to Dr. Li."


	3. Thinking Out Loud

A little bit of overview for the readers who I hope don't get too cross with me. This is obviously a Fic derived from Fallout 4 ( **IF YOU HAVEN'T COMPLETED IT YET, SPOILERS ARE WITHIN, SO HALT!** ) I was dying to write some Sole Survivor/Danse romance. He's an amazing character with, what I felt, tons of layers of angst. But if you've ever gallivanted the Commonwealth, you'll find there isn't a lot of dialogue to work with, so some of his lines may be a tad out of character, bear with me.

On another note, this is my first piece I've written since I had my son two years ago, so the flow will seem a bit choppy and for that I apologize. This is also my first time experimenting with first person (which generally I'm really opposed to) for any errors, I again, apologize! With that being said, I hope you enjoy!

This story is **M** and is suggested for only those 16+

This story has adult themes throughout, I'll tag incoming bits with an **M**. Feel free to skim over it if you'd like!

* * *

 **THINKING OUT LOUD**

That moment in Danse's quarters replayed in my head on a loop. I thought of all the things I could have said. All the things I _should_ have said. But something about that man bent me in directions I never knew I even had. It was like arguing with a very large, reinforced, brick wall. That also had big brown eyes, a nauseatingly charming smile and the voice of a monotone movie star.

I could think back to arguments I had had with Nate before the Great War. We'd bicker of coffee, laundry, what was for dinner- but I never questioned how he felt. With him is was always so black and white. There weren't all these dimensions and struggling. I knew without a doubt he would follow me to the ends of the earth. He would die for me and he would always love me despite the circumstances. But with Danse... it was all so very unpredictable. I couldn't make the distinction between up or down. Like I was in purgatory just for wanting to be near him. Maybe this was my punishment for dragging my family into that vault. I deserved every bit of it.

So, there I was. About to break into the headquarters of the Commonwealth's bogeyman. I stood awkwardly in front of Sturges and Danse. Sturges worked the control panel as Danse stood there, well, being Danse. Scanning the land for some unseen enemy and taking up space. I snorted inwardly as I looked at him.

I was standing on a platform surrounded by metal and wire. The Signal Interceptor. It looked like we had stolen a few pieces from Doctor Frankenstein. Sturges looked up from the board and smiled at me.

 _"You ready to get this party going?"_

I smiled sheepishly, "Fire this bad-boy up."

Danse stepped towards me. _"Wait,"_ he said gruffly. He moved around uncomfortably and looked at Sturges. _"Give us a minute,"_ he motioned with a tilt of his head.

I was prepared for a profound confession of love, a few kind words or encouragement from the Paladin. _"Don't forget your mission,"_ he said calmly. Of course. The mission. It always was the mission with him.

"My son comes first," I snapped, a snarl on my lips. He didn't respond for a moment.

 _"And watch your back."_ That was as sentimental as it was going to get, I suppose.

I mentally prepared myself, but I couldn't stop the churning of my stomach. The possibilities piled on me like boulders. Shaun could be dead for all I knew. He could be brainwashed, hurt or something worse. The only thing I had was hope and right then it didn't feel like enough.

Sturges returned and nodded at me quietly. It was go time. With the flick of a lever everything was put into motion. I was tempted to make him stop. To leave and never come back. Maybe I could start selling chems in Diamond City? Maybe even get a nice little shack. Get really old and grumpy, chase kids off of my lawn and shake a cane at them.

Everything was suddenly very cold. Like a snowstorm coming in through an open window. My face was alight with electricity, my body humming from the immense power. I could taste copper on my tongue. I panicked for a moment, throwing my hands up. But within in seconds, I was gone. The world just, disintegrated into a million, blue, wavering pieces.

And there I was. The Institute.

At least, I thought so. I reached up and touched my lip. As I pulled my hand back, I found drops of blood on my fingertips, bright and crimson. A nosebleed, which wasn't surprising given what I'd just done. I wiped my nose with my sleeve and walked forward. My steps echoed back at me. There was no one at the control panel, to what I assumed, was the way people left and returned to this place. A giant circular compartment lined with gadgets and machinery, none of which I could identify.

Without warning, a voice echoed over an intercom.

 _"Hello Fox. Welcome to the Institute."_

Well that was unnerving. I kept walking, slowly picking up pace. They already knew I was there, which gave them ample time to react.

 _"I've been waiting your arrival. We all have. It was only a matter of time before you figured out a way in."_

I ran to a circular elevator that opened before me. It could be an ambush. At this point it really didn't matter. I was either leaving this place with Shaun or with answers.

I stepped in and it closed around me, bring me up a long chute.

 _"Shaun is here and he safe."_

I flicked my eyes up and down, watching their world unfold around me. White, pristine and most of all, safe. I couldn't believe they were all here and left all of us out there. Dying, mutating. I felt sick to my stomach suddenly and held in a nervous gasp. I couldn't fathom what was happening.

The elevator made its final stop. The doors opened slowly and I hesitated to step out. I took the rifle from my shoulder, slowly. Cautiously I entered the white room and nearly fell to my knees.

There before me was a glass room, where a little boy sat playing, quietly. My eyes swelled up with tears, my stomach dropped to the bottom of me. I sprinted to the room and pressed my hands to the glass, my gun swinging back to my side. The little boy hardly noticed me. I held in a sob.

"Sh-Shaun?" I half whimpered. The little boy looked up at me, blinking. I couldn't really be sure that it was him. I had never seen him grow up. I wasn't there. I didn't know what foods he liked, if he had dreams, hopes and fears.

 _"Who are you?"_ he asked quizzically, standing to his feet, a teddy bear swinging in his hand. I pressed my forehead to the glass.

"I'm here. Mommy's here now," I sighed, my breath fogging up the glass. He looked at me with a furrowed brow. I smiled through my tears and wiped my eyes. "It's okay, we're leaving this place."

 _"Help me Father!"_ he yelled, panicked. I shook my head.

"No, it's me! I'm your mother!" My voice cracked as my heart burst into a million pieces. He didn't know me.

 _"Help me! She's going to take me away! Help me Father!"_

I wanted to smash the glass, take him in my arms and tell him it was okay.

Suddenly, a door to my right opened and an old man walked in. A man in his sixties, pale skin, graying hair and tired eyes.

 _"Shaun, S9-23, Recall Code Cirrus,"_ was all he said. Shaun immediately stood up straight, tilted his head down and went quiet. I looked at him, flabbergasted. What was happening? " _Fascinating... but disappointing. The child's responses were not at all what I anticipated. He's a prototype, you understand._ "

My mouth opened and closed as I looked between the man and Shaun. I didn't understand.

" _We're only just now beginning to explore the effects of extreme emotional stimuli._ " He opened his arms to soothe me. The look on my face was surely of shock. " _Please, try to keep an open mind. I recognize that you are emotional and that your journey here has been fraught with challenges. Let's start anew. I am Father. Welcome to the Institute._ "

"What did you do with my son? Where is Shaun!" I could feel the sting of tears once more, my hand reaching for my rifle.

" _He's here. In the Institute. Closer than you think_." The cool tone in his voice put me on edge. There was little between me and killing that man. My hands clenched, teeth tightened like a snare trap. " _You have traveled very far and suffered a great deal to find your son. Well, your tenacity and dedication have been rewarded._ "

My heart raced. " _It's good to finally meet you... after all this time. It's me. I am Shaun. I am... your son._ "

After those words, I think I had blacked out. Mentally. Everything he said made sense, but I couldn't accept it. I wanted to scream, to tear out my hair and go back to the year before the bombs dropped. I wanted nothing more than to have my infant son in my arms. If I thought hard enough I could see that this man was my son. That he had my smile, his father's eyes. And I didn't know if what he had done, what he had put people though, myself included, was something I could so readily forgive.

When I finally transported back to Sanctuary, my skin was translucent with sweat. My eyes glazed, having peered into a future I didn't want to accept. Danse stood there, by the Signal Interceptor, a look of surprise on his face. I don't think he really expected me to come back alive. Or even at all. He quickly approached me, taking my shoulders in his arms firmly.

" _You look like you've seen a ghost_ ," he said tilting his head, his eyes exploring my own blank orbs. When I didn't reply, he forced his gaze on me and said, " _Did you get what you wanted?_ " his voice tense, impatient, " _Did you find Doctor Li?_ "

For a moment, all I could do was breath, slowly, concentrating on how heavy my body felt. "I can't do it, Danse," I whispered. He looked at me as if I had insulted him, deeply.

" _What do you mean?_ " a chord of anger in his voice.

"I can't help you. I can't help Maxson or the Brotherhood destroy that place."

 _"What!? Do you know what you're saying? You're letting those monsters get away with their monstrosities against humanity? All that they have done, all they will do?"_

"I'm sorry," I whispered in a voice filled with shame and pathetic disappointment.

 _"We are literally, inches from taking these bastards down and you are sorry? We put our trust in you. We were counting on you. I was counting on you. Don't you understand? As long as the Institute exists, there will never be peace. They wont be happy until every single human has been replaced with synth. Until there is nothing left but cold, hard machines._ "

"You don't understand," I said, pleaded.

 _"Make me understand Delta, make me understand what is so goddamn important that you'd risk this? Did they offer you money? Power? A shining little place among them?"_

I was shocked to think he could think I was so easily swayed. I resisted the temptation of uppercutting him. I was too weak to start a scuffle with him anyway. I simply began walking away into the darkness. I didn't know how long I had been there. I just knew I needed to be alone.

 _"Listen to me goddammit,"_ he said stepping into my path. I stopped, staring at the duty ground. _"You are not walking away from this. I will not let you."_ He grabbed my shoulders again, this time tightly, roughly. He gave me a good, light shake, _"You would let them live, after what they did to you. What they did to Shaun?"_

"They ARE Shaun!" I shouted at him. He let go, giving me a confused gaze. I growled through my teeth and fell to my knees, putting my hands into the dust. "I can't kill them, because he is one of them! I can't help you... because my baby boy is Father!" I knew he knew the name. Like a revered demon, his name was never used. But you weren't in the inner circle like Danse and not know these things. I sucked in a sharp, bitter breath of cold air and looked up at my comrade. "Don't you understand?" I whispered.

 _"I..."_ he was lost for words. For once, he didn't have a manual to go by. He searched the night sky for an answer, scratching his chin. Slowly, hesitantly, he reached down and picked me up, setting me on my feet. As gently as one can in power armor, he moved a strand of hair from my sticky face. _"He's not here with you,"_ he stated, gently. I shook my head, hugging myself tightly.

"He... is not what I imagined. He's an old man. The last time I saw him, he was tiny enough to fit into a basket. I never saw him grow up, Danse. I never got to see him ride a bike, learn to read. I never got to watch him fall in love. He's... he's older than me."

Danse sighed and picked up my rifle, placing it in my hands. _"He's a monster, Delta. Just because he is your son, does not make him innocent. Try to understand, what he is willing to do, in the name of science."_

"I know that," I trailed off, trying to avoid his gaze. "You think because I'm his mother I forgive him and the Institute?" My voice was shaky, uncertain.

 _"Let's get Maxson that holotape, and we'll take it from there._ "

Yes, I couldn't wait to face that pompous windbag. I was dying to explain to him my only child was his nemesis.

We didn't travel back to the Prydwen by Vertibird, per my request. Although, I'm sure Danse was crawling out of his skin waiting to get back to his idol. I just needed time to sort out everything in my head. My world was so much more complex than I had hoped for. I had my life before the Great War and I had the reality of what it was now. There were people I cared for in this desolate wasteland. Garvy and the Minutemen, Danse... I couldn't really say I cared for the Brotherhood, but they had become a part of me. Shaun and the Institute were causing harm.

Shaun had explained to me that he was taken as a infant as an asset to humanity. The Institute needed a subject, void of radiation. An infant tucked away in a vault was pivotal to their trials. I'd been in that tube longer than I had though. Long enough for Shaun to be sixty, not ten. Over time, synths became a reality and he their leader.

But at what point had it become okay for my son to abandon the world above? Abandon me. He never looked for me. Never reached out. They were tucked away safely while they kidnapped people, hired thugs and watched us waste away into nothingness. There wouldn't be anything, left to save, as Shaun had claimed.

I admit I had nothing personally against synths. They were just machines, elaborate machines that I'd had no real desire to exterminate. The Institute as a whole is what scared me. After all, they had killed my husband and kidnapped my child.

As we trudged along, Danse silently watched me. Maybe he was waiting for me to make a run for it. I caught his gaze and he stopped where he stood. I turned around and motioned forward.

"Come on, I'd like to sleep in some semblance of shelter tonight," I groaned, pushing my hands into the small of my back and stretching.

 _"What are you thinking? I want to know."_

I rolled my shoulders and started forward, him following a few footfalls behind. "I'm thinking that I'm really hungry."

 _"Delta,_ " he sighed, unamused.

I gave a heavy, exaggerated sigh. "What do you want me to say Danse? Sure, go ahead, nuke my son. Hey, while you're at it, stab me with this rusty kitchen knife," he stopped for a moment, kicked a small rock and adjusted the strap on my gun. "I don't know what to think. I just don't know." He didn't respond, just kept walking. We dragged on a few more feet before he spoke once more.

 _"I think you know what the right thing is,"_ he said gruffly, looking sideways at me.

"What's the right thing?"

 _"To stop the Institute."_

"And you're the authority on what's right, are you?" I said sarcastically.

Without warning, he was raising his voice at me. _"Will you stop it? What do you want, Delta?"_

"I... I don't fuckin' know!" I shouted at him, throwing my hands up. "I want, food, foremost." He growled at me. I laughed lightly, "I want to wake up and this all be a dream," I motioned to the dusty earth, shambles of buildings and dying plant life. "I want to wake up next to Nate and kiss him. I want to find my son in his crib, crying. I want barbecues, fresh coffee, cars, mailmen and for the love of god I want a hot shower and clean cloths," I shouted into the desert, resting my hands on the top of my head.

We traveled on in silence after that, until we reached an old barracks. Danse went about building a cooking fire and I scrounged around for something, anything to eat. I managed to find a container of Salisbury steak and produced two bottles of water.

Danse took the water, but declined eating. I shrugged and ate, happily lulling my stomach. After the sad excuse for dinner, Danse reluctantly left his power armor. Watching him leave it was like watching fascinating. He always seemed so exposed and pathetic. To my surprise he start disrobing down to his skivvies. I looked away and started poking a sad little stick at our fire. I don't know why I started blushing. I'd seen way more than of him before. He poured the rest of his water on his head and shook it off, sending droplets in my direction.

"Funny, I don't remember a forecast calling for rain," I said dully, entertaining myself.

 _"I hope not, my armor will rust up,"_ he said, clearly not catching my joke. My eyes naturally rolled, dramatically. He was now looking up at the sky and shaking his head. _"No, I think we're okay for the night."_ I just snorted and poked the fire some more. Trying to find whatever answers I wanted inside it, I suppose.`

He sat down beside me and looked out into the wastes. I always went through that man's head. Did anything? Were the words _"All Hail the Brotherhood!"_ played on a continuous loop, maybe? Seemed likely.

I stood up and approached his power armor. I cupped my chin in one hand and admired it for a moment. I had never been in any, it seemed, awkward, to me. Danse watched me for a moment before speaking. _"Want to try her on?"_ I looked at him surprised. He stood up and strolled over, his dog-tags clinking against his skin. _"Here,"_ he said as he turned knob on the back and opened it up. It hissed and each piece unfurled, inviting me inside. I looked at it skeptically. He ushered me in. Awkwardly, I lifted myself in, and it closed behind me. I steadily turned around. It felt like weights were hanging off of my every limb. He nodded slowly. _"You look good in that,"_ he said crossing his arms and appraising me. I'm sure this was much like pornography for him. I bet he had dirty pictures of women standing around in power armor too.

"I don't know. I feel fat," I said flatly, putting my hands on my hips and looking down at my chest. Believe it or not, he actually chuckled. So jokes weren't totally lost on him. At least not anything relating to or pertaining armor, war and weaponry. I walked about a bit more, tried using my weapon and jumping. All of which he found very amusing.

Out of nowhere, the skies turned a noxious shade of green. Lightening flashed overhead and thunder rolled in like a hungry beast. The landscape was alight in a radiation storm. I always hated them. They came without warning and smelled awful. Like rotting earth and sulfur. I noticed the suit's built in Geiger counter rise and fall. Danse quickly took cover under the small amount of the bunker that was left. I followed him and attempted to crouch down, but I just ended up tripping on rubble. He steadied me and turned the knob on the suit to release me. I tried to exit carefully, but fell out much like a limb from a dead tree. He caught me at the crooks of my elbow and straightened me out. This was definitely close quarters, and a bit too close for him. He moved to give me room. We stood shoulder to shoulder. I watched as the fire whipped and curled away in the wind. It died slowly and we both gazed on silently.

Finally Danse broke the silence. _"It shouldn't last long,"_ he stated. I nodded in the hazy darkness. I shifted uncomfortably next to him, feeling the heat building between us. The silence continued as the storm glowed on, spitting and crackling above us. It seemed like an eternity before he spoke again. _"Would you, really want to wake up next to... him?"_ I looked at him, a little startled. I took a moment, breathing there shallowly next to him.

"I want my old life back," I replied quietly. I couldn't see his face, only when the lightening flashed.

 _"Even if it meant..."_ he trailed off, I didn't have to see his face to know what he was thinking.

"Even then," I replied steadily. "I just want to feel normal." He shifted next to me.

 _"This is normal, to me,"_ he said blankly.

"You know it's not for me."

 _"It can be."_

"No, it never can be."

 _"So, what then, you just continue to be unhappy?"_

"No..." my voice seemed high, raw and uncertain.

 _"Then, what?"_

"I don't know."

 _"Well-"_

"I wish I had died in the vault. That's what I want. I wish I had died the day the bombs dropped. Or caught the flu and died before any of this happened."

He was silent again.

"When you kill my son- when you kill Father..." I started, taking in a breath. "Just let me die with him," I said. And for once I was serious.

 _"I'm not doing that."_

"I'll find someone who will. You can buy hired guns like that," I snapped my fingers, "around here."

 _"You're being irrational again,"_ he said gruffly.

"No, for once I'm being completely rational."

 _"Killing yourself is not the answer a rational person would have."_

"Fine then. I'm irrational." My face was smug.

 _"I could make you happy,"_ he said slowly, like he was reading a script. I flashed back to the day in his quarters. _I want to make you happy._

"No you can't. You can't be something you're not."

He took my face in his hands. I felt the warmth run down my arms and legs. _"Tell me what you want. You want a house? I'll build you one. You want mailmen? I'll find a uniform and deliver it to you every day. You want fresh coffee, I'll search from here to the Capital Wasteland. Tell me what you want, Fox."_

"You can't give me what I want."

 _"Love."_ His voice was stern, almost repulsed by the word. I touched his hands and lowered them from my face.

"Love," I repeated. The silence was overwhelming. I wanted to just shrivel away from there and never come back.

 _"Okay,"_ he said simply. _"I love you."_ I didn't know whether to be angry and shocked. I shook my head.

"It doesn't work like that," I explained. His lips brushed mine in silence. His hand running through my hair, the other touching my hip. It was like he had sucked the air right out of my lungs. His lips parted mine, soft, gentle, inviting. When he finally broke off, he sighed heavily.

 _"Like what?"_ he breathed. I searched the darkness for words. _"If loving you means never losing you, then goddamnit woman, I love you."_ He kissed me again, hard. I pulled back.

"I'm confused-"

 _"Shut up, Knight,"_ he said gently, pulling me back. I always had a knack for ruining the sentimental. His hands roved over me, greedily. I took it all in, there in the darkness. The storm fading back bitterly into black in the distance. The far off flash of lightening illuminated the land once more before disappearing with a low rumble of thunder.

Although the blackness had consumed us both, we moved like one person. His hands found the right places and touched with delicate fervor. My own hands unafraid to find his own body underneath them. There in that sticky, tepid dark, we made love.

Moving slowly, he finished what we had started in his quarters. Only this time I felt safe and sure. Somewhere in the tangled mess of our bodies, he found my lips and pressed his own against them. He breathed into me, _"Let me take care of you,"_ he sighed. I was losing touch, the taste of him on my lips, his hands on me like I've never known.

"If you think you can," I murmured back, biting his lower lip. I could feel and hear him grin.

 _"Is that a challenge, soldier?"_ he said, roughly. He pinned my hands above my head and playfully nipped the side of my neck.

"Well," I said between stifled moans, "Show me."

 _"Ad Victorium,"_ he replied.


	4. Abandoned Post

A little bit of overview for the readers who I hope don't get too cross with me. This is obviously a Fic derived from Fallout 4 ( **IF YOU HAVEN'T COMPLETED IT YET, SPOILERS ARE WITHIN, SO HALT!** ) I was dying to write some Sole Survivor/Danse romance. He's an amazing character with, what I felt, tons of layers of angst. But if you've ever gallivanted the Commonwealth, you'll find there isn't a lot of dialogue to work with, so some of his lines may be a tad out of character, bear with me.

On another note, this is my first piece I've written since I had my son two years ago, so the flow will seem a bit choppy and for that I apologize. This is also my first time experimenting with first person (which generally I'm really opposed to) for any errors, I again, apologize! With that being said, I hope you enjoy!

This story is **M** and is suggested for only those 16+

This story has adult themes throughout, I'll tag incoming bits with an **M**. Feel free to skim over it if you'd like!

* * *

 **ABANDONED POST**

 _"You actually drank the whole bottle?"_ Danse's voice sounded shocked. I smiled flippantly and gave my shoulders a small roll.

"Well, he called me coward. In the end, he owed me two-hundred caps and to top it off, he had to clean all my gear," my voice quivered with laughter. Danse just shook his head. I was regaling him and our pilot with a few tales from my prior Commonwealth days. Before I had sold my soul to the Brotherhood.

We were just landing on the Prydwen. My stomach was in impossible knots. Danse and I hadn't exchanged much in the way of feelings since the night in the radiation storm. I was okay with that. He was a man of very few words and I gave him the space he needed. We'd trudged the remaining footfalls to the base in a peaceful silence. Here and there he would ask me a question about my childhood. I think he was quite fascinated with life before the Great War. The idea of television and microwavable dinners amused him. I wondered if it saddened him to think that life had once been so trivial and simple. I longed to show him my world.

Once our boots hit the deck, he pulled me aside gently. He searched my eyes for a moment before speaking in a hushed tone. _"You need to decide,"_ he tossed a glance over his shoulder, _"What you want to do about that holotape."_ I looked down at my feet and fidgeted quietly under his hard gaze. Something about him seemed off. I couldn't pinpoint it.

"I'll hand it over," I said slowly, flicking my eyes to his once more. I didn't have to guess that he was happy with my decision. It was written all over his face. He gave a tight, hard nod and led the way to the Command Deck. I followed silently, trying to muffle out the conversation I had shared with my son. Memories of Shaun lingered inside of me like cords leading to a long dead past.

The deck was alight with excited murmuring. I was sure word had spread like wildfire that I had successfully returned. Maxson seemed calm and collected, with a flicker in his eyes. The look of a hungry wolf. I caught a breath in my throat as we stood before him. My hands locked behind my back.

" _You're here in one piece_ ," Maxson stated in his gravely voice. Danse spoke before I could answer.

" _Knight Delta completed her task and more,_ " he said, almost proudly. I hid the mummer of a smile quickly and extended a hand holding the holotape.

" _Very good. Very good,_ " Maxson said, taking it with rough hands. I stepped back and only nodded, glancing at Danse. Maxson held to the tape tightly and gave a grateful sigh. _"I believe Proctor Ingram has requested your assistance, Knight,"_ he motioned with his head below us. _"Oh, I was surprised to see Doctor Li at our doorstep as well. She mentioned you had paid her a visit, Knight."_

"Yes sir, she was not so easily swayed. But I think she knew what the right thing to do was," I replied seriously.

 _"Of course,_ " he quipped, dismissing us.

I hastily ate something that wasn't in a can, cleaned myself of the dust and dirt accrued on our journey back and claimed into a fresh uniform. Danse accompanied me back to the base below, where we met Proctor Ingram. She stood at a raise panel and began excitedly explaining her current project.

 _"Meet Liberty Prime,"_ she breathed proudly. _"Our most advanced piece of equipment. This old fella' is going to win the war for us."_ I looked at the mechanical man with wide eyes. The thought of that thing taking on the Institute was daunting. I think Danse recognized my hesitation and spoke up.

 _"Impressive,"_ his voice was genuine. I'm sure things like that gave Danse immense pleasure. I continued to gape at it. Managing to peel my eyes away, I looked at Ingram sideways.

"What do I have to do with all this?" I asked politely. She tapped her knuckle on the panel and directed a hand towards Prime.

 _"He's all out of ammo. All thanks to Doctor Li, he's completely prepared for combat. Except,"_ she motioned again to the combat robot, _"he's missing his Mark twenty-eight nukes."_ I nodded slowly. I could see Shaun being completely disintegrated. I shook the thought loose and crossed my arms, focusing on Ingram. _"Luckily for us, we've located a bomb storage facility in the glowing sea."_

"Right," I followed her gaze. Ingram handed me a piece of paper.

 _"You're to meet Scribe Haylen at the marked way-point where she'll give you a distress pulser. Just activate it at the facility and we'll pick 'em up,"_ she said simply.

"Right," I repeated, quickly turning on my heel and clanking off of the control platform. Danse hastily apologized for my curtness and followed me.

 _"Are you alright?"_ he asked quietly from behind me.

"I'm fine," I said, my voice seemed almost synthetic. I was going to do this, I just, had to let it all go. But spending all that time looking for Shaun, wondering where he was, if he was safe, alive... I had to let it all go. Sleepless nights, hard work, blood, sweat and tears. Surely he knew this wasn't easy. But, then again, a task such as this was probably very easy for Danse or anyone here for that matter.

 _"Listen,"_ he said catching up to me. I kept walking, slinging my gun to my front and looping my trigger finger around the trigger guard. He stopped me and forced me to listen. " _I know this isn't easy."_ I silently rolled my eyes at the ground. _"I've had to kill someone I cared about,"_ he said casting his eyes at the ground where mine were also looking. I gave him a saddened look and shifted my feet. He took a breath and explained, _"He was a monster. Just because he was my friend, didn't make him any less of one. I don't know if it was right, and I don't know if I would do it again- but I did it and because I did I saved lives. I know what you're feeling, Delta,"_ he placed a hand on my shoulder. _"Monsters have to be destroyed, even if they mean something to us,"_ he said gently. His eyes were glazed over, deep and pitless.

I wanted to argue the difference between my son and his friend, but didn't bother. I knew he was only trying to help. I just silently nodded and started walking again.

My footsteps seemed at random, despite a premeditated way-point. I don't think I spoke a single word the whole way. Danse trudged beside me, much in the same mood. Our trips were often laden with silence, bit this was like a funeral procession. I guess in some ways, it was. I was one step closer to killing my own son. One step closer to killing the only thing left connecting me to my old life.

When the silence finally broke, it was Haylen. She was poised behind a barricade, just outside of the Glowing Sea. Danse seemed happy to see her again. She handed me the distress pulser and exchanged questions. I asked about the police station where I had first met my first troop of Brotherhood soldiers. Rhys, Haylen and Paladin Danse. It was still in one piece, surprisingly. It always seemed to be a popular target for feral ghouls. The thought of it brought back memories of my first encounter with Danse. I'd saved their lives, showing up at the right moment, gun in hand. They were all grateful, save Rhys, who was never anything but angry.

Danse had to force me into a suit of power armor. I was more comfortable wearing a hazmat suit, but he insisted. I loaded into it like a timid house-cat, looking at the machinery with a raised lip. After I had suited up, he looked me up and down.

 _"I think it really suits you,"_ he said with a small grin. I weakly smiled back and put my helmet on. He followed my cue and latched his on as well.

We stood at the edge of the Glowing Sea, looking out into the hazy, yellow abyss. I had never seen it before and under different circumstances I might think it was kind of amazing. I tightened the grip on my rifle and took the first step into the wastes of radiation. Danse stopped me short, looking down at me through the darkened eyes of his power armor.

 _"Whatever happens out here, promise me you will finish what we started,"_ he said, his voice pulsing with... something, I wasn't quiet sure. I jokingly elbowed him.

"I always finish what I start." He didn't respond, only took point, gesturing for me to follow him. The loud whirring of our suits was almost deafening. Paired with the thick, yellow smog surrounding us, it was quite hard to maneuver. Despite a few trips and nearly opening my suit, I did fairly well for a beginner.

The Glowing Sea was an infinite stretch of death and radiation. Dead trees littered its plains. Bugs crawled over its many hills, craters and crevices. In the distance, the shrill call of a deathclaw rumbled along the noxious wind. I had heard of people surviving out here, but who would want to? The sun was blocked out by the layer of smoggy sickness. Anything that lived here could kill you with ease. But people really were capable of some profound things. Just the idea that all this beautiful like went to waste by human hands was saddening. The Commonwealth reeked of human pride and twisted justice, but this was a whole other tier of disturbing.

We approached the facility carefully. Danse cleared the perimeter as I gazed at it with bitterness. I sucked in a shaky breath as he came up behind me. He opened the doors carefully and checked each corner, waving me inside. He was being unusually careful. I mean, he was always tactical, but this was overkill. I loudly clanked inside behind him, following my his lead.

The facility was mostly filled with feral ghouls and garbage. Come to think of it, that was most buildings these days anyway. Little opposition stood between us and our way-point. With each step I steadily became more upset. I felt a panic attack coming on. The breath in my throat hitched. My chest heaved and tightened like high tension wires, snapping slowly in a gust of wind. I could feel my body trembling, my fingertips numb. I stopped midway down a set of stairs and grabbed the banister for support. Danse quickly turned around.

 _"What? What is it?"_ he asked with minor chords of panic. I bitterly sucked in a sob.

"I-I can't do this. Oh my god I can't do this," the words rushed out like a great epiphany. Despite Danse's protests I ripped my helmet off, clatter to the floor. I needed to breathe. I needed to fucking breathe. Each chestful of air felt more and more sharp.

 _"Listen to me Fox,"_ he said, taking off his own helmet. He took my shoulders in his hands, _"I know you can do this,"_ he said, forcing his stare on me. I shook my head, blinking away tears. _"You know how I know you can do this?"_ He asked. I shook my head rapidly. _"Because you're the strongest person I know. I see all that you have been through and you're still here."_ His voice was stern, empathetic " _You can do this because there isn't anything in this world you can't do."_

"Really?" I said in a small voice. He nodded slowly, kissed my forehead gently and handed me my helmet. I had to admit, he knew exactly what to say to me. Even when it's not what I wanted to hear. I think he'd been exposed to outbursts for so long that had an entire guidebook on how to deal with me.

After I had wiped away my tears and picked myself up, we were on the way. I felt stronger then. I felt like I could do this. Like I could do anything. We followed the winding path to the center of the facility without incident.

As we reached a large metal set of doors, we found we could only access it by a terminal which neither of us were skilled enough to hack. Further back behind an observation platform we found an old man, surrounded by turrets and various ammo boxes.

"What... what are you doing down here?" I asked slowly, glancing at Danse. The moment the old man spoke, I knew we had run into a hiccup.

 _"I am a servant of Atom,"_ he said with a grim looking smile. My eyes rolled behind my helmet. Oh, for the love of god.

 _"Yes, but why are you here,"_ Danse said gesturing around him.

 _"I'm here to watch over his great gift."_ He babbled on about Atom for what seemed like ages. I had had enough.

"Well we need to get in there," I said matter-of-factly. The old man laughed with a wispy chuckle.

 _"Only his servants may enter this tomb."_

I rolled this around for a moment and sighed, "We are here... to serve Our Father. We will praise his name on high... in the glow of his gift. That- uh, that he has bestowed on his children."

 _"Very well then, sister,"_ the old man said happily and handed over the password. I graciously accepted it.

"Uh yes, all praise Atom, _or whatever_ ," I said and bowed my head repeatedly, backing out the door.

As we left Danse shook his head. _"Lunatics,"_ he sighed, watching me go to work on the terminal. " _Handled very well, I have to say,"_ he added. I just shrugged.

"When in Rome," I said lightly.

 _"Rome?"_

"Never mind," I said dully.

With a few clicks and the dull thud of moving gears, the doors swung open. We were greeted with the sour smell of dust and trapped air. I went about setting up the distress pulser, thankful to finally be done. I needed sleep. Danse nodded approvingly and watched me inspect the gadget.

 _"You go ahead and report to Proctor Ingram, I'll stay here."_

"Is that really necessary?" I asked.

 _"Someone has to make sure that nutcase doesn't touch anything,"_ he replied. I had to agree. People like that were completely irrational and very unpredictable.

"Alright. I'll see you back at the Prydwen, I guess."

 _"Of course."_

I'd managed to hitch a ride from a Vertibird, much too tired to walk all the way back. The ride back was soothing, the slow chop of the rotors put me to sleep within minutes. When I reached the massive ship, I reported to Ingram sleepily and immediately headed back to the barracks. I don't remember even getting undressed, just collapsing on my bunk with relief. I drifted to sleep in a happy haze, wondering how soon Danse would be back. I missed him already. Even his monotone, by-the-books attitude. Like... like a cute little bulldog.

I dreamt that Danse was a bulldog that night. He talked to me and everything. At some point I fed him canned food and he sat in my lap and we watched TV with Shaun. It got depressing quickly and I was thankful to wake up.

It was midday already and my body was sore. Everything in my body groaned as I forced myself to sit up. The barracks was empty, not surprisingly. I had slept longer than I had intended. But it was more than needed. I pushed myself out of bed and stretched all the way from my toes. After splashing myself with a handful of water, I made myself halfway presentable. Even going as far as brushing the knots out of my hair and peeling away at the dirt under my fingernails.

I was met on the Common Deck with hushed tones and mummers. I looked around cautiously, watching people point and give me looks of sympathy. Had Danse told them something? Something about Shaun? About my panic attack? My cheeks rushed with shades of red and I decided to skip eating. I hadn't even made it out of the repair bay before someone walked up to me. I had no idea who they were.

 _"Elder Maxson is waiting for you on the Command Deck, Knight."_ They walked away just as quickly as they had approached me. Oh god. He knew about Shaun. He knew about everything. Even Danse and I. I was screwed. I could jump off the ship, save myself the embarrassment. I could just open fire, go out in a blaze of glory. Ultimately, I sucked it up and headed upwards, my stomach groaning with every step I took.

I could see Maxson standing in his nook, his back to me. He was gazing out the window, his eyes clasped behind his back. The crew below talked back and forth. I could hear Kells giving out order, quoting numbers.

 _"Knight."_ Maxson already knew I was there. I nervously toed into the room, stopping a few feet behind him. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. _"Is there something you want to tell me?"_

 _Oh, fuck me_. "I've... always been honest with you, sir," I said slowly, breathing unsteadily.

 _"Proctor Quinlan completed the decryption of the data you retrieved from the Institute,"_ he said, his voice tense, unforgiving. My brow furrowed. Was there something in there about Shaun? _"A portion of his findings included a list of synths that went missing or escaped from their underground facility."_ I was still at a loss for words. He paced to a small table and laid a hand on it. _"After careful analysis of the information we've discovered something... unprecedented."_ I shifted uncomfortably. I didn't understand why he was grilling me or what this even had to do with me. _"Paladin Danse is a perfect match for one of the synths on that list."_

My knees buckled underneath me. "W-What?" I said, my face surely mirrored my disbelief. The room suddenly seemed very small and hot. "That's impossible."

 _"I'm afraid not. The evidence is damning. The data you brought back included a record of each subject's DNA. We keep the same information on file for each of our soldiers. Paladin Danse's DNA is a perfect match for a synth they called M7-97. To make matters worse, he's gone AWOL, missing without a trace. His sudden disappearance just reinforces our conclusion that M7-97 and Paladin Danse, are one in the same."_

I stood there with my mouth slightly open, eyes glued to the Elder, like a deer in headlights. _"I'm finding it difficult to believe that he never confided in you and then swore you to secrecy."_

"He never said a word to me," I said, panicked. Those words echoed in my head. He never told me. Danse never told me he was a synth. I thought... he loved me. Yet he kept something like this from me?"

 _"I'm deciding to take you at your word. However, that doesn't absolve you from your duty. Danse is a syth. He represents everything we hate, a monstrosity of technology. Which faces me with the most difficult order I've ever given."_

I held my breath.

 _"I'm ordering you to hunt down Danse and execute him."_

 _Please no. Don't make me do that._ I let my breath out slowly, watching as the room spun around me. Everything was shattering to pieces around me. It all made sense now. Danse's cryptic words to me before we left. What he said on the edge of the Glowing Sea. He was going to leave and he didn't even say goodbye to me. He didn't even tell me it was going to be the last time I'd see him. I tried not to cry, to remain emotionless. "I won't do it, Danse deserves a chance to explain himself," I said firmly. If this dictator thought I idolized him like these other lapdogs, he was sadly mistaken.

 _"You will do it! This is not up for judgment or debate! I'm giving you a direct order Knight, and I expect you to follow it without question."_

I tuned him out. I wasn't going to win this argument. Fuck Maxson. I'd look for Danse, but on my own terms. If they thought I was going to put a bullet in him, which I was seriously considering given him immense lies, they were delusional.

I was sent to the Proctor Quinlan, where I would receive intel on the possibilities of Danse's location. I did as I was told. They didn't have to know I my intent. So I played the role of loyal soldier.

Quinlan apologized for the position I was put in and went right about discussing my mission. Were these people fucking insane? This was one of us! The man had served his entire life up to the Brotherhood on a silver platter and they wanted to kill him in cold blood. It made me sick to my stomach.

As Quinlan prepared to go over locations with me, Haylen burst into the room. _"What is this crap about Danse being synth?"_

Quinlan chimed in, quickly, _"I assume this outburst a reference to some doubt regarding Danse's identity. I can assure you that my finding are quite accurate, Scribe."_

Haylen's face was as red as coals. _"So he sets Danse up and you knock him down. Is that it?"_ she seethed. I had to stop myself from slapping her in the face right then and there.

"I don't like your tone, Haylen," I replied, trying to keep my voice low.

 _"My tone? Who cares about protocol at a time like this?! I can't believe that after everything Paladin Danse did for you, you're just going to turn you back on him like this." She was asking for a nicely timed uppercut to the jaw. "There's obviously been a mistake, and we're going to get to the bottom of it."_

 _"Scribe Haylen, you're addressing a senior officer. You will give her the respect she is due or so help me I will have you brought up on charges."_ Quinlan piped up, his voice lined with anger.

 _"My apologies Proctor. I believe I have some information that is relevant to the search."_

 _"Very well,"_ Quinlan replied, waiting for her.

 _"Knight, if you'd accompany me to the flight deck, I've compiled the information and I'd like to show you first hand."_

"Alright," I said slowly, looking at her cautiously. I knew Haylen was close to Danse, so her information was definitely a help. I bid Proctor Quinlan goodbye and followed the Scribe down the stairs and onto a catwalk. She paused before me, her eyes bright, like she was just as shaken as me.

"Haylen," I started, not really knowing what to say. She cut me off.

 _"Do you really plan on killing Paladin Danse?"_

"I haven't decided yet," I said slowly.

 _"I have known Paladin Danse ever since I was an initiate. He trained me, showed me the ropes. He's earned my admiration. My respect. I don't care what the report says, I don't care if he's a machine or not. He's still Danse."_

"Calm down Haylen," I said, uncomfortably shifting before her. She was upset, clearly, but I didn't have time to deal with hysterics. Not now.

 _"Listen. I am asking you, not just as a member of the Brotherhood, but as a human being. Give him a chance to tell his side of the story."_

"I will, Haylen," I replied quietly.

 _"Good,"_ she breathed. _"You'll do the right thing."_ Haylen gave a heavy sigh and relinquished the information to me. _"Before the Prydwen showed up, Danse had me identify a fall-back point if the police station should ever fall. It was Listening Post Bravo. It's isolated and we're the only ones that knew about it."_

I just nodded at her, and she quickly walked away and into the bowels of the ship. I stood there, letting myself finally submerge. Danse couldn't be a syth. He just couldn't be. But what if he was? He lied to me. Used me. He'd left me all alone with these people and that asshole never even said goodbye. I didn't know what to feel. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, but nothing would come. It felt like dry heaves. Wanting so badly for something to come up. I took a few moments to let myself get into the state of mind needed for this. I needed to talk to him. To confront him. I needed answers, whether he wanted to give me them or not. Damn it, that man was going to give me answers.

I wasted no time in heading out. I grabbed all the gear I would need from my footlocker. As I quickly stepped through the Common Deck I couldn't help but feel all the stares on me like I was a criminal. Some felt bad, some probably thought I was a traitor too. Word traveled fast on the Prydwen, apparently. And this wasn't the first time that I was the talk of the town. But I didn't want to be known as the traitor's pawn. I hated that he put this all on me like that. I wanted to strangle him. After all we'd been through, he didn't trust me? I was insulted. Betrayed, like he'd planted a knife between my ribs and left me bleeding out.

I didn't want anyone following me, or the location of Danse's hideout to be known, so I decided to walk. The trip was entirely too long. With every passing minute I became more and more angry with him. Every word he's said, every conversation was on a loop in my head. I genuinely thought he cared for me. I was such a fool. A fucking idiot, to think he could care for me in the way I wanted him to.

I ran into various amounts of trouble. I managed to escape with my life through every one. I think blind anger and growing hate is what guided me. Most of my traveling I did under the cover of night, avoiding buildings and caves, sleeping only when I absolutely had to. I was beyond the point of exhaustion, yet I pushed myself harder than I ever had.

I stood before Listening Post Bravo, victorious. If mirrors could talk, they would shriek at me. I was covered in all manner of dust and dried blood. My arm was jury-rigged into a sling after I had taken a nasty hit from a rabid radstag. I had a gash above my left eye and I hadn't drank any water in twenty-four hours. I could taste copper in my mouth, sticky and dry. I was heaving, the barrel on my rifle hot to the touch. Danse's way of saying hello was two turrets at the front of the bunker. I had almost taken a few hits, had they not called out with shrill alarms. I managed to duck behind some rubble, my heart throbbing painfully in my chest.

So there I was. I could feel the hot scorch of the sun on my back and the low growl of my empty stomach. "So this is it," I whispered, wiping my wrist along my lips. I moved my tongue, sighing at the dryness in my mouth and throat.

Quickly, I opened the heavy steel door, and trudged inside. The interior was dusty and smelled of rust and burnt wires. It was obvious someone had been here recently. I tiptoed through the first room, careful not to make any noise. I had no idea what king of state of mind Danse was in. If he really was a machine, he could be capable of much more than I thought.

I reached an elevator and mashed the button with my fist. It dinged up to me slowly, opening its rusted doors welcomingly. I hesitantly stepped into it and fit the first button I saw. The basement. The elevator lurched down, clanking and moaning all the way.

It halted at the bottom floor with a detesting shudder and it's door slowly slid open. I peered into the room uncertainly. I raised my gun, my finger shadowing the trigger. I couldn't say for sure how much I trusted Danse right then. But I couldn't really gage how he would react to me coming all this way to find him on the behest of the man who wanted him executed.

Without warning a tabletop turret whined to life and opened fire on me. I panicked and slid behind an overturned desk. The rounds hit the front of the desk and whirred over my head. Ricochet shots bounced back and forth across the room. I was completely done with all of this. I could feel the pale flicker of my temper bubbling within. "Danse!" I shouted into the next room. "Danse, if you do not turn this fucking thing off I will personally shove my boot so far up your ass you wont ever eat anything again without tasting leather!" Suddenly a round ricocheted off an adjacent desk and hit me in my calf. Through and through, clean as a whistle. I screamed, punching the desk with my fist. I sucked in breath, grabbed my leg between my hands and inspected the blackened hole that began to seep with blood.

A few moments later, the turrent groaned and lowered its weapon. I panted, wiped my sleeve across my forehead and sat up, bracing my back against the wall.

 _"Delta?"_ I could hear his voice from the other room, concerned, but much like a scolding father. I knew he'd be upset I had come to find him.

"Man down," I squeaked, my hands now shaking.

Danse rounded the corner and ran into the room. He came to one knee beside me and looked down at me with those soft, brown pools. _"Where?"_ he asked gently, looking me up and down. I held up my calf and he took it in his hands. Without even thinking he ripped his sleeve clean off and wrapped it tightly around my leg. _"You look like hell,"_ he said, almost in amazement.

"Thank you very much," I whispered between clenched teeth. I stared at him, my eyes thick with tears.

 _"I'm sorry, but you understand why I needed these extra precautions..."_ he said. I tried to slow my breathing. _"You shouldn't have come,"_ he added, grabbing my arm and hoisting me to one foot. I winced, and whipped my head around to look him in the eye.

"Did you think I would let you hide?" I said hotly. He stared back at me, blankly. "And no surprise here, but Maxson wants you dead."

 _"I thought so,"_ he sighed, scratching his head and walking across the room. He leaned on a filing cabinet and crossed his feet.

"What is wrong with you?" I shouted. I couldn't keep calm anymore. I couldn't hold it in anymore. He just looked at me, as if he were some innocent bystander. "You just left!" I practically screamed. I was too emotional, streams of tears clearing a path through the grime on my face. "You left me all alone again," I sobbed. I really hated that he was making me act like this. And when he didn't respond or react I picked up a porcelain ashtray and hurled it at him. It hit the wall beside his head and shattered into pieces on the floor. "Say something!" I shouted once more. He silently watched me wipe the tears from my face.

 _"Did you come here to kill me?"_ he asked plainly. I growled and limped over to him and with one fell swoop, slapped him across the face. I knew it was hard, because my own hand was screaming. Could he even feel pain? He grabbed my wrist and yanked me forward. _"Did you?"_ he asked again.

"No," I said, yanking my arm back.

 _"Why not? I'm a freak,"_ his words sounded painful.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, my voice wavering again.

 _"I didn't know. I don't know anything. I don't know how much of my life is real and how much is implanted memories. Everything I knew I was made to believe."_ I wanted to comfort him as much as I wanted to shoot him.

"How did you find out? You ran away because you knew." I accused him.

 _"I saw those records before anyone else,"_ he said quietly. _"I came here to make sure I wasn't going to be a problem,"_ he continued. _"I came here to kill myself."_ I tried to stop myself from crying again.

"And leave me here alone? You know how hard this world is for me and you would abandon me like that?" I said between breaths. I felt numb all over. I didn't know if it was emotion or my leg wound.

 _"I'm a machine, Delta! I'm everything I was taught to despise! Who knows what I'm capable of!"_ His words were hot and sad all at once.

"I will tell you," I said, my own words much the same, "You make me feel better about having to live in this burned out piece of shit wasteland. Despite all this death and hate, you make me feel... alive," I said, my mouth shuddering. Danse shook his head slowly and took me in his arms. I buried my face in his chest. I wanted to be there forever. Pretend like nothing else mattered.

 _"Fox..."_ he trailed off, putting his hand on my lower back. _"I can't live knowing my whole life was one big lie,"_ he rested his face on the top of my head. I sobbed into his shirt.

"I'm not going to let you go," I said bitterly, letting it all out. It was like a deluge. I cried harder than I ever had before. "I want to die right here with you," I said, looking up at him with my tear-stained eyes. He took my chin in his hand and shook his head.

 _"No,"_ and he pressed his lips to my own. He kissed me softly, wholly, picking up every part of me and repairing it. I breathed when he let go and held him more tightly.

"Yes. If you think the only way you can do this is to die, then I will too."

 _"Delta, you're being irrational aga-"_

"Do you love me?" I asked sharply, hopefully. He took a long pause and brushed the hair from my face.

 _"I don't know if I can love,"_ he said. I looked down, feeling that familiar sting of rejection. "But I do know this," he said, kissing the side of my mouth. " _The thought of living without you scares me more than anything I know,"_ his words were warm and tasted like honey. _"I can't live on this earth and know that someone else could be holding you. That someone else makes you happy."_

"Then come with me," I replied quickly. I took his hands in mine. "They don't have to ever know. Come with me, Danse," I pleaded.

 _"Delta..."_ he said heavily.

"If you can't live without me, then you must know I will die without you. If I have to face that world out there without you, I will never make it." I pulled him towards the elevator.

 _"Where would we go?"_ He said reluctantly following me.

"We can go beyond the Commonwealth. I don't know, back to Rivet City where you're from?"

 _"I never thought of that,"_ he said slowly, considering the idea with seriousness. We loaded into the elevator. I didn't know what was happening, it was all unfolding so fast. We reached the ground floor and he followed me with linked fingers to the entrance. _"I guess as long as they think I'm dead it doesn't really matter..."_

As we left the post, I stopped, cold. Danse nearly ran into me.

Maxson was standing in front of us. I stood in front of Danse protectively. Though if he wanted to get past me nothing would stand between him and killing this man.

 _"Why isn't it dead?"_ the Elder accused with an outstretched finger.

"Because I wont do it," I said firmly.

 _"You had an order, Knight. It's a machine and it must be destroyed. This thing embodies everything we hate!"_

"If you kill him, you'll lose me," I quipped without hesitation. I could tell such a response angered him. He was fuming. "Danse has given everything he has to the Brotherhood," I said sharply, eyeing him with angered pools of blue. After a moment's thought, he spoke up.

 _"Very well. But heed this; if it steps foot aboard the Prydwen or near the Brotherhood it will be killed on sight."_ I felt a spring of hope and nodded slowly. _"I will need to speak to you, Knight. I'll meet you on the Prydwen."_

With that the Elder walked away. I felt as if he didn't put much up of a fight. Though I didn't leave him many options. They needed me. They were down one Paladin and I'd brought them far more success than anyone else they had on hand. No, Maxson did what he had to do.

I turned to Danse and smiled. For once, things had worked out as I planned. So much of my life was a big cosmic joke. Waking up 200 years in the future. Faced with a post-apocalyptic wasteland filled with mutated animals, bugs and people. Finding my son was Father. Losing Danse, someone I loved, because he was a syth. It was never fair for me, yet I did manage to salvage this one thing. "Now, where to first?"

 _"I would follow you anywhere,"_ he said gently, pulling me close and kissing me.


	5. Heroics

_Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! Sorry for the delay. I'm so happy to receive just great reviews! I hope I can continue to make more enjoyable content. And in case you haven't noticed, Danse is my favorite too! He's got so much character just waiting to be discovered! Thank you for all your kind words!_

* * *

A little bit of overview for the readers who I hope don't get too cross with me. This is obviously a Fic derived from Fallout 4 ( **IF YOU HAVEN'T COMPLETED IT YET, SPOILERS ARE WITHIN, SO HALT!** ) I was dying to write some Sole Survivor/Danse romance. He's an amazing character with, what I felt, tons of layers of angst. But if you've ever gallivanted the Commonwealth, you'll find there isn't a lot of dialogue to work with, so some of his lines may be a tad out of character, bear with me.

On another note, this is my first piece I've written since I had my son two years ago, so the flow will seem a bit choppy and for that I apologize. This is also my first time experimenting with first person (which generally I'm really opposed to) for any errors, I again, apologize! With that being said, I hope you enjoy!

This story is **M** and is suggested for only those 16+

This story has adult themes throughout, I'll tag incoming bits with an **M**. Feel free to skim over it if you'd like!

* * *

 **HEROICS**

I never reported back to Maxson, even despite Danse's urging. The thought had crossed my mind that it was some sort of diversion. Separate me from Danse and use my absence as a chance to execute him. It wasn't my first concern, I just didn't want face Maxson. I needed time to think and putting off Shaun's death was a bonus.

Danse and I had spent a week at the Listening Post. I was going absolutely stir-crazy cooped up in there. He was more than content cleaning weapons and working on his turret system. Things between us seemed stable. Though more than once he reminded me that he needed time to adjust to everything that had happened to him. I reluctantly gave him ample space and decided to head out to Diamond City for supplies. I always liked having a good stockpile of food and medical gear. Life was so unpredictable in the Commonwealth. Danse was not happy with the idea of me leaving on my own. Though he couldn't disagree I was in desperate need of an actual doctor since sustaining various injuries in the past week or so.

Before I left he lectured me as if I was a child. " _Under no circumstances should you talk to strangers. People are unhinged out there and you just never know._ " I sarcastically replied with a " _Yes father_ ," before kissing his cheek and heading out the door.

The sun hung overhead like a sentry. The air seemed thick and dry, filled with dust. Despite the harsh heat I was happy to be outside. I brought a few bottles of purified water, food and extra ammo. I walked with an obvious limp and my arm was still stiff from the hit it took from that raider. But it felt nice to move my body, stretching out the wires and dusting off my joints. I'd been forced to sit around on Danse's orders. He didn't want me to tire myself and risk an infection. The night I had refused to kill him I ran a very high fever and he refused to leave the bunker while I was in such a condition. He sat by my bed all night and watched over me. I could see the worry on his face as he loomed over me, ever watchful. As I slept restlessly, I could feel his hand on my forehead or his ear on my chest. At first light, when I awoke, he was slumped back in his chair, snoring. I tried to leave the bed to drink water but he woke up so quickly it startled me.

Out in the open, free once again, I smiled up at the dingy, blue sky. I dampened a bandanna and tied it around my neck, tucking it under the collar of my uniform. I could hear very distant gunfire and the rhythmic song of what I would say sounded akin to cicadas. My feet trudged in front of me, carefully navigating the uneven plain before me. The last thing I needed was to take a nasty fall and aggravate my wound.

I hadn't mentioned it to Danse, but the bullet hole had started to swell and became very painful. I had always just told him it was feeling better. He was so caught up in making the bunker livable I think he just took me at my word.

Each step gave my leg a small jolt of pain. But it was bearable. Getting the blood rushing felt good. I had to stop frequently and change the bandage or apply water and avoid dirtying it anymore than it already was. With the pace I was at, it took longer to reach the gates of the city than I had anticipated.

The stadium turned city was the same as I had left it all those months ago. Safely tucked away. I wondered how much a house would cost. The idea of living somewhere with people was enticing. I enjoyed the privacy with Danse, but I liked the convenience of a city too. He would never agree. He was not a people person. He was programmed that way. I wondered if I could reprogram him to give foot massages. Like, a masseuse interface. Or a chef.

I was greeted by a city guard, who briefly gave me the third degree. I explained my business and was allowed city was bustling with caps and people, as usual. I sank into the crowd, a goofy grin on my face. I stopped to buy a bowl of noodles, firstly.

I sat down at an empty stool and placed my pack at my feet.

I looked up at Takahashi as he clunked over. _"Na-ni shunasho-ka?"_

"Oh I'm fine, thank you," I sighed, wringing out the bandanna on my neck.

 _"Na-ni shunasho-ka?"_

I laughed a fake little chuckle and slapped the counter-top, "Good one Takahashi you old dog."

 _"Na-ni shunasho-ka?"_

"Yes," I sighed enthusiastically. Having heard the only word the poor thing know, Takahashi presented me with a bowl of noodles. I place the appropriate amount of caps on the table and accepted the bowl greedily. I stopped, mid-scoop.

"Say, do you know where I can find a doctor?"

 _"Na-ni shunasho-ka?"_

 _"You do know he doesn't understand you, right?_ " A voice beside me chimed in. I turned my head and quirked a brow.

"Oh, I know," I said, placing my bowl down on the counter. The man sized me up briefly, a grin on his face. He was tall, sinewy and easy on the eyes. He sported light leather armor, well looked after. A double-barrel shotgun swayed on his back and a 44. on his waist. His eyes were hidden by a pair of sunglasses, a toothpick between his remarkably white teeth. His hair was a thick brown, greased back yet messily attractive. His face was clean shaven, save for a thick chinstrap and accompanying mustache.

He extended his hand to me. _"Gideon,"_ he said, taking my own dusty hand and giving it a solid shake.

"Fox," I replied.

 _"Oh, well-"_ he rubbed the back of my neck and chuckled.

"Oh no, no, that's my name. My mother was a little eccentric," I said, smiling from the corner of my mouth. I awkwardly poked my noddles with my spoon.

 _"Ah, now you've gone and hurt my feelings,"_ he said, his expression blank.

From the background Takahashi trilled on, _"Na-ni shunasho-ka?"_

We both ignored him, though his constant hovering was increasingly aggravating.

The man spoke again, his voice deep and dancing with clear brogue. English with a slight Irish accent. _"I don't think I've seen you here before. And I know everyone up and down the Diamond City,"_ he said watching me eat a mouthful of noodles. I looked up from my bowl and swallowed.

"Just passing through for supplies," I said, coughing slightly.

 _"Ah, you from the Commonwealth then?"_

I nodded slowly, "Near Sanctuary," I said, placing my bowl down after draining it of all the broth. Gideon nodded and attended his own noodles.

 _"I overheard you ask about a doctor. I happen to know Doctor Sun. He's not much social butterfly, but he'll fix what's broken,"_ he said after taking a long swig off of a flask.

"Oh, well thanks. Mind pointing me in the right direction?" I replied, swiveling my stool around and stepping back onto the ground. Gideon hurriedly chugged the rest of his noodles and stepped down beside me.

 _"I'll do ya' one better and escort you myself,"_ he remarked.

"Oh that isn't necessary-"

 _"O'course it is. A nice lady like yourself should never travel alone,"_ he said with a raised brow. I didn't argue, just motioned for him to take the lead. He guided me past the outdoor clinic and onto a catwalk. _"He's not at the shop today. So I'll take you 'round to his place."_ I nodded, following slowly, the blood still trying to flow back into my bad leg. _"I noticed you're limpin'. I assume that's why you're needing to see the good doctor?"_

"Uh, yeah," I said quietly, "You know the Commonwealth. You can't avoid it," I said with a sheepish laugh.

 _"Truer words I've never heard,"_ he said, tossing me a laugh as well.

We stopped in front of the doctor's house and he knocked with the side of his knuckles. Someone inside scrambled around and shouted out from behind the rickety door.

 _"Business hours are seven to ten!"_

 _"It's Gideon, Doc. I've got someone who needs some mending right quick,"_ he said, looking over his shoulder at me and winking. _"She's got the caps,"_ he added. He looked at me again, _"You do, don't you?"_ I nodded rapidly in reply.

I could hear a deep sigh as the doctor reluctantly opened the door.

 _"Very well. Hurry up and get in here before someone sees you,"_ he said, ushering us indoors, _"I'll have people on my doorstep all the time,"_ he hissed. I took a few steps inside and watched him lock the door. _"Alright, alright. What's wrong?"_

"My leg," I said, pointing down to my calf.

 _"Yes, I have legs too. What is wrong with your leg?"_

"I've been shot," I said quickly, glancing at Gideon who had taken a seat on the edge of a desk.

 _"You people and your guns. Sit down, sit down,"_ he said, pointing to a vacant wooden chair. I sat down obediently and let him inspect me. _"This is infected,"_ he sighed. I felt like an infant, the way he talked to me. _"And it looks like a moron bandaged it. I'll clean it up and prescribe you antibiotics."_ He bustled from the room, mumbling.

 _"That looks pretty bad,"_ Gideon said from the desk, tilting his head down to look at it. _"Raider give that to ya'?"_ I didn't really know how to respond, so I nodded my head. _"Damn sewer rats, is what they are,"_ he said, spitting his toothpick out and replacing it with another from a small, metal cylinder.

Doctor Sun came back in, gauze and tape in hand. He went about the unpleasant task of cleaning it. I clenched my teeth so hard I think I broke one. He wasn't very gentle about it either. Gideon watched with interest. As he finished up I let out a loud gasp of relief. Gideon chuckled and stood up, messing with the old typewriter on the desk.

The doctor gave me a handful of white pills and sent me on my way. He wanted to get back to his reading. When I was trying to get the caps from my pocket, it was taking so long he just shoved me out the door and told me he'd put it on my tab because he was sure I'd be back with a hole in my other leg.

Outside, Gideon stretched and adjusted the belt around his waist. _"Sorry about that. He's not all bad,"_ he said, pushing his sunglasses up to reveal flickering pools of hazel.

"I deal with much worse, trust me," I said with a fake sneer. I shouldered my pack and told him I had to do a bit more shopping and get on the road.

 _"I'll see you around some time then?"_

"More than likely," I replied with a smile.

I purchased more gauze from the supply store, too afraid to both the doctor again. Along with some fruit (which was more mush than it was fruit), stimpacks, bobby pins, Cram and some other food. After I had checked everything off my list, I went window shopping for weapons and gear. I saw at least five things I wanted and told myself I could get them for Christmas. Did they even celebrate Christmas nowadays? I pondered on that as I left the city gates. It was a little depressing.

I was digging through my pack when I nearly fell on top of a mongrel hound curled up on the side of the road. I steadied myself enough to reach for my rifle, which was not where I had left it. I quickly took a few wobbly steps back as it stood up, raising it's lip to reveal a row of yellow teeth.

"Good doggy," I said, raising my hands up in front of me. It snarled and sprung at me, more than ready to rip my throat out. Before it could take its toll on me, I felt the wet splatter of its brain matter spray my midsection. I shouted, dropping to my knees with my hands over my ears.

 _"You probably need this,"_ Gideon said, walking up and handing me my assault rifle. His 44. sat in his other hand, smoke billowing from the barrel. I stood up, a little embarrassed and took my gun thankfully. _"Left it at the doctor's house. He wasn't too happy about it either,"_ he said adding a deep chuckle.

"Thanks," I said slowly, shouldering the rifle and trying to dust the blood off of my uniform. "Sorry for the trouble," I said, motioning to the body of the dog.

 _"No trouble at all,"_ he said with a smile that was all charm. I rubbed my arm with my hand and raised my shoulders.

"Well... I should get going before the sun sets," and I offered him my own timid smile, "Thanks. Again. I owe you one." I started onward again, my leg still hot and irritated from the rigorous cleaning.

 _"Now hold on,"_ he said, catching up to walk beside me. _"I'd be remiss if I didn't offer to accompany you back to Sanctuary,"_ he said, turning to face me and walking backwards. I squinted at him and inhaled through my teeth.

"Well I'm not headed that way. And it's really not necessary. I've been on my own for a while now. The whole leg thing," I gestured up and down my leg, "Was just a fluke. I'm a big girl, honest," I said, picking up the pace a little. I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't getting a little annoyed with him. He laughed deeply and started jogging backwards.

 _"I don't doubt it. But I couldn't call myself the man I am today if I let a wounded woman hike half way 'cross the Commonwealth alone,"_ he insisted. I stopped dead in my tracks and gave him a dull stare.

"You're not going to let up, are you?" My voice was thick with annoyance.

 _"Not likely,"_ he said with a shake of his head. He dipped his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels. _"I promise I wont bother you, I just want to make sure you make it back alright."_

"Fine," I breathed, defeated. "But I'm not sharing my chocolate with you, so forget it." He laughed at me and shook his head.

 _"Yes ma'am."_

Despite his promise, Gideon talked the entire hike back. He broached many subjects. Including but limited to: birds, whether birds had sex or not, weaponry, the process of water purification, Vault-tec, noodles, the Brotherhood, cats, and duct tape. Finally, after three hours of this I had to speak up.

"You know what, it's not that far away, I think I can make it back on my own."

 _"Don't be silly, I plan on seeing you right to your door."_

"I can handle a door."

 _"Well, given your leg wound I want to be safe."_

"You don't even know me, you realize this?"

 _"I do so. You're Fox."_

"That's my name, not me."

 _"Well, by the way you hold your weapon and the uniform you're wearing and your short hair- I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say you're from the Brotherhood."_ I stopped and looked sideways at him. He smiled at me with those hazel eyes. _"And you're not from the Commonwealth at all. In fact, I'm going to venture a guess and say you're the girl from Vault 111,"_ he added. I sucked in a breath that came out as a snort.

"What makes you so sure?"

 _"I'm never wrong about pegging someone. And the minute I saw you I pegged you for both of those things. You're not quite depressed enough to be a Waster and not quite laid back enough to be civilian."_

"I am plenty laid back, thank you very much."

 _"Ma'am yes ma'am!"_

"Stop that immediately," he said, giving him a dead glare.

 _"Ooh, maybe you're a Brotherhood runaway. AWOL and all that,"_ he said, widening his eyes. "I bet I could get a good reward from that."

"Don't be ridiculous," I said, waving a hand at him and trudging forward once more. Before I could protest he had picked me up and slung me over his shoulder, my pack swinging and hitting me square in the face.

 _"Say which way is that big ship of theirs?"_ he said jokingly.

"If you don't put me down right now I swear I will punch you so hard you'll be shitting out your own teeth," I said, elbowing him. He slid me down from his shoulder and I landed awkwardly on my bad leg. He steadied me by my shoulders. I looked up at him, fuming. I bet little smoke stacks were coming from my ears.

 _"You're kinda cute when you're mad,"_ he goaded. I shoved him roughly with my elbow, pivoted on my heel and started away. He followed me, chuckling at himself the whole time. _"Definitely some kind of officer in the Brotherhood, that's for sure,"_ he said, coming to walk next to me again.

"I am not enjoying your sense of humor," I said, feeling like Danse had seriously rubbed off on me.

 _"Aw, don't be such a spoilsport, kid."_

"I am two hundred years older than you, kid. In fact, to me, you're still a fetus." He laughed again, ran a hand through his hair and poked an elbow at my ribs.

 _"Lighten up old lady. You know if you have an attitude like that you'll never attract any potential suitors,"_ he said playfully. I rolled my eyes, refusing to even entertain his attempt at riling me up.

We carried on in silence, but not for long, because the man so enjoyed the sound of his own voice it would be a crime to let that happen.

 _"How much farther? You're not going to lure me into the wild and rob me, are you?"_

"You followed me, first of all. And secondly, it's just over this hill. In fact, you can head back now."

Suddenly the plain erupted with an ethereal howl. My eardrumbs practically shattered. I instantaneously took cover behind a fallen tree, Gideon right beside me. Dust whipped through the air, blinding me momentarily. As it settled, I saw the daunting silhouette of the unmistakable Deathclaw. My heart pounded in ears, a lungful of air caught in my throat. Gideon had already taken out his shotgun, flipping up the sights. My own rifle was in my hands.

The monster threw its head back, letting out another deafening growl. Before I could react, Gideon had already loaded it with two shots, hitting it square in its head. I knelt behind the tree and chipped away at its midsection with my assault rifle. Our attempts at subduing it, only angered it even more.

As Gideon loaded his shotgun, I loaded a few rounds into its face and it turned its attention on me. It brawled at me, flung the tree from in front of me. I had the wind knocked out me, back down in the dirt. As it closed the gap, I watched my eyes flash in the flicker of its eyes.

Before it could bring down it's clawed hand on me, something had nabbed its attention and it whipped around. Someone was pouring hot lead into it. I quickly rolled to my stomach and loaded a new magazine into my gun, throwing the old one over my shoulder. I took cover behind a rock, limping all the way. My body was tense and shaking, my breath hot and sticky.

The beast gave a final death howl and crumpled to the earth, sending tremors in every direction. A cloud of dust bloomed in its wake and I couldn't see the masked hero who had saved me. I whisked away the dust in front of me, standing from my crouched position.

There above us on a hillside, stood Danse. A minigun poised in his hands. I was so thankful to see him that I forgot Gideon was even there. I limp-ran to the foot of the hill and stared up at him.

"Thank God," I shouted, raising my hand above my eyes to block out the sun. "Perfect timing," I added.

 _"Yeah, good work buddy,"_ Gideon chimed in, coming to stand beside me. My eyes darted to him then back to Danse. Even in an alternate universe this would never end well.

Danse started down the hill, slowly. He was in his dinged up power armor and wore a very sour face.

When he reached the bottom, I wanted to hug him, but that was nigh impossible with the armor blocking me. He studied Gideon for a moment before looking back to me.

 _"Are you alright?"_ he asked looking me up and down. I nodded and started to reply but was cut off by my traveling companion.

 _"She's tougher 'en she looks,"_ Gideon said as he dusted off his pants. Danse wasted no time in addressing the fact that this stranger was annoying.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" he said, looking at Gideon as if he was an alien.

 _"Name's Gideon,"_ he said, offering up a hand. Danse declined shaking and looked back at me, expecting an answer.

"He... escorted me back," I said, choosing my words as carefully as I could.

 _"Yeah, she was out here all alone. Good thing I was with her, or this guy woulda' ate her for lunch,"_ Gideon said, hitching a thumb at the deathclaw. _"So many thanks for your help friend, but I think we best be on our way in case another shows up."_

 _"Escort?"_ Danse repeated, ignoring Gideon and giving me that look that says _very interesting._

 _"Look this is all very interesting but I don't want to be around here much longer than we have to,"_ Gideon said, putting a hand on my shoulder and talking to me specifically. I saw Danse twitch visibly and I felt nervous laughter bubbling up in my chest.

"He's right, we should go," I said, starting up the hill. Danse stayed rooted and watched Gideon follow me. Only after we were halfway up the hill did he decide to follow.

As we reached the top of the hill, I could see the Listening Post. Gideon stopped beside me and looked down, cupping his eyes with his hand.

 _"Well, guess that's her then?"_ he said loudly. Danse clanked up behind us. With his lack of speech I knew he was not happy with me.

"Yeah, go, uh, clear the area?" I said pointing down at it. "My leg needs to rest."

 _"Anythin' for you ma'am,"_ he said, giving me a fake salute and taking the hill at a slant.

I turned around and looked at Danse who was watching Gideon like a hawk.

"Well, I'm happy to see you again," I said with a soft smile. Danse switched his attention to me and though his face softened, he didn't smile.

 _"Why is he with you?"_ he asked gruffly.

"He insisted. When I was at Diamond City he introduced me to a doctor and I think he was just being a gentlemen," I sighed, waving it off like it was no big deal.

 _"And you were okay with bringing him back here?"_ Danse replied a little roughly. I clicked my tongue.

"I didn't see any harm in it."

 _"Right,"_ he replied, moving past me and down the hill after Gideon. I hadn't really thought of Danse's strategic reaction to the situation. Had I taken a moment, I would have realized he was going to be angry.

I started after him, carefully, slowly. My leg groaned with every side-step down the hill. Gideon looked up at me and gave me a thumbs up. I nodded silently and concentrated on not falling on my face.

As Danse reached the bottom, he looked Gideon over and set his jaw. Gideon, of course wasn't content with silence. I could hear him from my spot on the hill, midway down.

 _"I think I'll have to sleep here tonight. Sun is setting and I'm none to keen on traveling at night."_

Danse looked back up at me and I could have boiled an egg on that glare. I quickened my pace and nearly fell, steadying myself just in time. But my wound had begun to bleed profusely. As I approached the bottom, Gideon responded by walking over and kneeling beside me.

 _"You shouldn't be walking on that,"_ he said gently to himself, and before I could protest, he had scooped me up with ease and was walking me to the bunker door. I didn't even look at Danse. I refused to. But I could imagine what his face looked like. Like a wrinkle, sour grape.

"I'm fine," I pleaded, sitting there in his arms like a sleepy toddler. In reality I was just relieved to not have to stand on my damned leg and Danse would just have to suck it up if someone beat him to the chase. He could be just as gentlemanly, when he wasn't angry.

Inside the door of the bunker, Gideon placed me in a chair and knelt down to assist with my bandage. Danse was standing in the doorway now, watching like a petulant teen who was angry with their mother. "I can do it, Gideon," I said quietly, reaching into my pack to fetch the fresh gauze. Gideon brushed my hands away.

 _"Nonsense love,"_ he said. As he peeled the sticky crimson layer away, it revealed my wound. Danse's jaw dropped a good centimeter.

 _"You told me it was better,"_ he said, his voice lined with anger. Gideon looked up and furrowed his brow.

 _"Shouldn't have been out there alone either,"_ he said under his breath. Finally my nervous laughter burst from me.

"Aha, aha, it's fine, I'm fine. Everything is fine," I said placing my hands up in front of me like I could stop where this was inevitably going.

 _"I think you should leave,"_ Danse said harshly. I winced, my eyes darting to Gideon like I was watching a tennis match.

 _"Is that what you think?"_ Gideon said, standing to his feet and tilting his head forward.

 _"Yes,"_ Danse said firmly, stepping into the room and inserting himself between me and Gideon.

 _"I s'pose you're going to make me?"_

 _"I'll carry you out by your ankles if you want me to,"_ Danse replied with fire in his eyes. My eyes were bouncing between them, watching the intensity rise like flames.

 _"Oh yeah? Well let's see it then Captain Rustbucket."_ Danse had begun to move towards Gideon but I stood up, my leg screaming at me.

"Stop that," I shouted, putting a hand on Danse. "I'm not about to watch this pissing contest. Danse, let him stay the night, it's only right after everything he's done," I said, looking him in the eye. "Gideon, I'm going to ask you to politely stop goading my... friend. Not everyone shares your same weird sense of humor."

The two of them reluctantly separated. Danse ushered me to the corner of the room. He kissed my temple, gently. _"You should have told me about your leg,"_ he said. He made me sit down as he climbed out of his power armor. He took up the task of helping me bandage it, watching Gideon from the corner of his eye. I took his jaw in my hand and made him look at me.

"You don't have to worry. Everything will be fine," I said and I wasn't talking about just my leg.


	6. The Glowing One

A little bit of overview for the readers who I hope don't get too cross with me. This is obviously a Fic derived from Fallout 4 ( **IF YOU HAVEN'T COMPLETED IT YET, SPOILERS ARE WITHIN, SO HALT!** ) I was dying to write some Sole Survivor/Danse romance. He's an amazing character with, what I felt, tons of layers of angst. But if you've ever gallivanted the Commonwealth, you'll find there isn't a lot of dialogue to work with, so some of his lines may be a tad out of character, bear with me.

On another note, this is my first piece I've written since I had my son two years ago, so the flow will seem a bit choppy and for that I apologize. This is also my first time experimenting with first person (which generally I'm really opposed to) for any errors, I again, apologize! With that being said, I hope you enjoy!

This story is **M** and is suggested for only those 16+

This story has adult themes throughout, I'll tag incoming bits with an **M**. Feel free to skim over it if you'd like!

* * *

 **THE GLOWING ONE**

The night of Gideon's arrival, I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned on my dingy mattress relentlessly. After an hour of staring at the ceiling, I stood up and wandered around our makeshift home. I looked into Danse's defense terminal, drank a Nuka Cola (which in hindsight was poor decision making) and played cards by myself. I always despised Solitaire. I watched my grandmother play as a child and though she taught me well, it was just so boring. I thought the same thing now as I did when I was ten. Who plays cards alone?

It wasn't long before I heard some rustling from the floor above us. Danse snoozed peacefully on his own mattress, pushed up next to mine.

I stared at him a moment, recollecting the conversation we had had before he drifted easily off to sleep. He had asked me why I loved him. I considered his question for a moment and smiled softly into my straw pillow. He tilted his head and placed a hand on the small of my back, his other hand propping up his head. I so enjoyed the talks we had when the light had drained out of the world and there was nothing but us and the darkness.

Finally, I answered him, "I don't know, I just do. You don't really decide to love people Danse, it just happens," I crooned, rolling slightly from my stomach to my side. He seemed to analyze my answer before replying.

 _"I'm still getting used to all these human emotions. I hope you're patient with me,"_ his voice was gentle, hitting my face softly in the dark.

"Do you mean, love?" I had asked, pulling his hand up with my own to rest over my heart.

 _"Yes, like love,"_ he said somberly. I dug my teeth into the corner of my lip, interlacing our fingers. _"I don't really have much to compare it to. I loved the Brotherhood. I would do anything to protect it. I would do the same for you, too,"_ he sounded like he was delving very deeply into this. I leaned forward and whispered softly into his lips.

"Stop worrying about all of that."

In retrospect, I should have let him speak his mind. If he was having doubts I wanted to know. But when he got his mind set to something, the man was relentless. I felt bad almost, for dismissing his concerns. I would bring it up again, if he didn't.

I stepped barefoot into the elevator, blindly mashing the button with sluggish hands. The machine whirred slowly to the top, groaned unhappily and opened its doors reluctantly. Eventually it was going to breakdown, I just hoped it wasn't with me in it.

I looked around the room, which was illuminated by a cooking fire. Greeted by the harsh notes of a harmonica, I tiptoed onto the cold cement, passing under columns of light running through a hole in the roof.

Gideon say sprawled before the cooking fire, harmonica in his hands. His back was to me, so he didn't notice my midnight intrusion. He played a sad, somber song. The notes long and sullen. I stood there a moment, admiring his skills. As the song came to an end, he sighed deeply and dropped his hands.

"That was nice," I said softly from my place in the shadows. I expected him to jump, the child in me wished he had. He spoke through a smile.

 _"Isn't it rude to spy on people?"_ He looked over his shoulder at me. I smiled gently and toed over to his side, sitting on an old wooden bench he had pulled up beside him.

"I do believe you spied on me first," I quipped playfully, wrapping my arms around my shoulders.

 _"Lies and blasphemy,"_ he replied, a look of faux shock on his face. _"I'd never do such a thing."_ I only rolled my eyes and warmed the palms of my hands over the fire. We sat together in silence, no light save for the flicker of his campfire.

"Where did you learn to play?" I asked, breaking our silence. He sighed inwardly into the bitter night air.

 _"Oh, me dad before he died."_ I found it odd how randomly his accent faded and appeared. It was nice to hear someone not monotone sometimes.

"Were you, close?"

 _"Very. He taught me everythin' I know. How to shoot, what's right 'n wrong. He even taught me how to talk to girls,"_ he winked at me then, his grin revealing those pearly whites.

"Not a very good teacher then," I said, shaking my head.

 _"Speaking ill of the dead! That's not very nice,"_ Gideon said, placing a hand over his chest and bowing his head. _"Besides, you haven't seen me in action,"_ he said waggling a brow. I snorted.

"Oh, well I bet that's quite a wonder to behold."

 _"Not as much as you are,"_ he replied with all charm. I looked at him sideways, squinting my eyes.

"Very nice," I said, containing a chuckle.

 _"Women are... very simple creatures,"_ he said as if he was speaking to a classroom. He stood up and paced back and forth. _"They like three things,"_ he said, placing his hands behind his back. _"They like when you listen to 'em, ask questions, act interested,_ " he said holding up a finger, _"They like when you compliment them, not just their appearance"_ he said holding up a second, _"And they like it when you show 'em who's boss,"_ he said, holding up the third and final finger. He eyed me seriously and I let out a trill little laugh.

"I'm not too sure about most women, but it takes a little more than those three things to seduce me," I said shaking my head. "Your father must have been horrible with women." Gideon shook his head and sat down next to me once more.

 _"The man was a genius. So tell me about you and your family,"_ he said, leaning back on his elbows.

I pursed my lips, "My family was... different," I sighed, picking up a splintered board and throwing it into the fire.

 _"Well tell me,"_ he said with an expectant look.

"Well... my father was in the military. Hardly ever home. My parents weren't as close as married people should be. My mother was, well, she was a little unhinged. Schizophrenia, to be exact. When I was ten she left my sister and I. We never saw her again. My father had to pick up all the pieces. We stayed with my grandmother, sent clear across the country to live with her. I saw my dad a handful of times before he died. After that I was sent to boarding school," I explained, my voice soft, full of sadness. "I grew up, attended law school and the rest is history," I said flippantly.

 _"What about after all that?"_ he asked, letting his head roll to the side and rest on his shoulder.

"Oh, all rather boring," I said scrunching up my nose.

 _"You're the least boring person I know,"_ he said with a tsking sound. I smiled a faded grin and shook my head.

"There isn't anymore. Not now," I said flipping my eyes to the ceiling. I looked down now and met his eyes. They flickered with the reflection of the fire, a soft smile on his lips. "What?"

 _"You,"_ he said kicking a piece of wood with the heel of his boot.

"What about me?" I asked curiously.

 _"Somehow you manage to look beautiful no matter what ya' do. Even 'n the dark,"_ he said gently, shaking his head and swallowing his smile. I swallowed a lump in my throat and offered him a sheepish smile.

"You're kidding us both. I'm battered to hell, and, I should probably do something with this hair," I said, pinching a strand between my thumb and forefinger.

 _"You women are always concerned with how you look,"_ he said with a sigh.

"Hey, that's not true," I snapped, tossing a glare at him.

 _"It is so. Your hair, your makeup, your clothes. Can't a man compliment you and you just accept it?"_ he said incredulously.

"Fuck you, I don't even wear makeup," I argued, pushing my brows together and rubbing my eye with my knuckles.

 _"Fuck me? Well if you insist. It's been a while though, so you'd better be gentle with me,"_ he replied with faux nervousness.

"You're deplorable," I said with playful disgust.

 _"You're adorable."_

"Stop that," I said exasperated. I could feel the hot red rush into my cheeks.

 _"Oh, she blushes,"_ he said excitedly, _"I knew you liked it,"_ he added smugly.

"I hate it," I said quickly.

 _"Liar,"_ he said just as quickly, meeting my eyes and pressing his lips together trying to contain a grin. I picked up his pillow and threw it at him. It his the side of his face and bounced into the darkness. _"That wasn't very nice,"_ he said with a frown. He sat there silently, looking down at the ground, hanging his head. Before I knew it he had jumped up and grabbed the pillow, throwing it back. It gently hit me square in the nose.

"Hey, you can't hit a girl," I said, picking it up and cocking my arm behind my head. Before I could throw it, he had grabbed my wrist. I tried to yank it away but was met with surprising strength. He was a lot stronger than he initially looked. I stood up and yanked harder, pushing with my other hand against his chest, "You are really asking for a ripe pillow beating," I laughed. He didn't let go, containing me with so much ease it was making me angry. I tried to out maneuver him but he quickly brought me into a bear hug, squeezing me against him in an impenetrable prison. I gasped, "Jesus I can't breathe," I said wiggling. As a last ditch effort, I made my entire body go limp. Much like a tantrum-throwing two-year-old.

 _"Uh oh,"_ he said and we toppled forward. As we hit the ground, I quickly pulled my wrist loose, arching my hand again for a pillow head-shot. But he moved faster, pinning my hands back above my head. I growled, kicking like the two-year-old again. I noticed he was staring down at me, his eyes seemed full. They softened, waned with the brief flicker of firelight. Slowly, he kissed me. Not hard, nor insatiable, but soft. Like the way you kiss someone when they're asleep. He leaned back, smiling like he'd just won the lottery. I couldn't imagine the look on my face was anything other than shock. My eyebrows raised, mouth slightly agape. "I told you," he said confidently, "Listen, compliment, show 'em who's boss," he chuckled. I shoved him off of me and scrambled to my feet.

"That was extremely uncalled for," I said angrily.

 _"I was jokin'!"_ he said, putting up his hands in defense and laughing.

"You don't go around kissing people willy nilly just to prove a point!" I replied, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

 _"Well, ya' didn't seem to object too much,"_ he said, still laughing. I picked up the pillow and hit him hard in the torso.

"I don't find anything about this funny," I said, hitting him again. He kept laughing, so I kept hitting him until I felt I better.

 _"Better?"_ he said with a repulsive little grin. I hit him one more time for good measure. He grabbed the pillow and reeled me in, despite my struggling. _"You tell me that pin-straight Brotherhood boy kisses ya' better,"_ he said finally prying the pillow from my hands and dropping it.

"He's... he's a phenomenal kisser," I rebutted, crossing my arms defiantly. He laughed again, crossing his arms to mock me.

 _"His kissing is wonderful sir, as protocol requires."_ Using a mockingly robotic, accent-free voice. I shoved him but he didn't even sway.

"It's none of your concern anyway." My voice seemed ridiculously defensive and he was having field day with it.

 _"I think all girls should be kissed the way they want to be kissed. It's my personal goal to see that happens,"_ he said, _"Especially the pretty ones,"_ he added.

"You are infuriating, you know that?" I said, turning around to sit down by the fire once more. He followed me. "You can't just- just kiss people without asking them! It's rude and I will not stand for it," I ranted. As I sat down, he knelt in front of me. I recoiled my head, squinting my eyes at him. "What?"

 _"I am sorry, for you kissing you without clearance first ma'am,"_ he said and I nearly punched him in the mouth. He laughed lightly, " _No, no, I really am,"_ he said looking at me with those rich pools of hazel. _"But some people need ta' be kissed,"_ he said gently, shrugging his shoulders. _"I wanted to know what it felt like,"_ he said simply. _"Not as nice as I imagined it though."_

" _Oh_ , what- hey you- you asshole. I'm just _fine_ at kissing. I was kissing before you were even born. I was kissing before your mother was born, I-".

Gideon kissed me again, this time a hand behind my head, grabbing a handful of my hair. His lips touched mine and parted them gently. This time it was the way you would kiss someone if you were saying goodbye. Like you were never going to see them again. His other hand was on the side of my face, he paused for a breath and went back again. Everything inside of me was screaming in unison. Wake up stupid. I put both my hands on his chest to break free of whatever trance I was under. But I felt like hot wax, dripping away into a messy, little puddle. Finally, he let me go, coming up with a toothy grin. My chest fell and rose and I stared back at him for a moment, trying to orientate the room and get my bearings. I swallowed hard.

 _"That time I did it to shut ya' up,"_ he said. _"Looks like you enjoyed it though,"_ he added, running a hand through his thick russet hair. I blinked, running my fingers over my lips. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came up. He stood up and resumed his seat next to me on the ground. _"You are a good kisser,"_ he breathed, laying his head back on the bench.

"I should go to bed," I finally replied. I stood up, walked to the shadows and glanced back to him. "Goodnight," and with that I stepped into the elevator and left.

 _"Sweet dreams,"_ he said.

The following morning was awful. My mouth felt dry and my throat ached. When I opened my eyes to the sullied light, I found the mattress beside me empty. I placed a hand on the empty spot and sighed. I could hear Danse a room over, moving around. I laid there, closed my eyes and went over the night in my head. I was hoping I had just had an elaborate dream. But the tightness in my chest reminded me it was all too real. I gripped the front of my t-shirt with one hand and squeezed it. I acted like a complete fool. I should have never let any of that happen with Gideon. I tried to make excuses. I was tired, he was too strong, I let my guard down. But in the end I knew I let him because I was curious and well, curiosity killed the cat, after all.

I mentally kicked myself, repeatedly. I imagined how I would broach the subject with Danse. _"So, hey, I made out with Gideon, it's all cool though. I was just curious. We're good though, right?"_ I groaned into my pillow.

 _"You overslept."_

I recoiled so hard I nearly punched myself in the face. I cracked open one eye to see Danse looming above me. He was in his white t-shirt, his ever-present dog-tags tucked inside them. He sported jeans today, which I found really odd and a bit unsettling. He looked like he had shaved. I held up a hand and spoke with a cracked voice.

"Where is Danse and what have you done with him?" I said still looking at him through one hand.

 _"What do you mean?"_ he said with a confused look.

"Never mind. I'm just going to die right here, okay? Cool, bye." I pulled the blanket over my head and hid away like a little bed hermit. He pulled the cover away.

 _"Where did you go last night?"_ I felt a sudden surge of panic.

"Oh," I said slowly. I hoped he didn't notice my reaction. My eyes widened and I rubbed them groggily. "Just, heard a noise," my voice cracked. I stretched and sat up.

 _"Oh. I didn't hear anything,"_ he said, still staring at me.

"It was nothing," I sighed. He nodded slowly.

 _"Good,"_ he replied. _"Now come on, get up. I thought we could go scout the perimeter today,"_ he said, reaching down and pulling me up. I stood before him and gazed up at his eyes. He kissed my forehead gently. _"If your leg is up for it,"_ he added.

"Oh, it's much better," I yawned, still rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

 _"Good,"_ he said, putting a hand under my chin and brought my lips up to meet his. His hands snaked down to my waist and he kissed me gently and then walked away. I bit my lower lip, trying to push last night out of my mind. It was going to be very hard not to think about it whenever Danse kissed me. I mean _, come on_. I groaned and fought the temptation of crawling back into bed.

Danse spoke to me from across the room, _"Your friend is still here, unfortunately,"_ he sighed as he tossed me my pack. _"How long will he be here? You know he started a fire inside?"_

"I know, I know," I said waving a hand at him dismissing him. "I'll speak to him," I breathed. I grabbed a bottle of water and downed it all at once.

 _"Sooner than later,"_ he said eyeing me with a raised brow as he put on his uniform. I rolled my eyes, turning my back to him and pulling on my own uniform. I was already in a bad mood, I hoped Danse didn't plan on bitching about Gideon all day. I might just commit suicide.

We gathered all the necessary gear; ammo, water, stimpacks and extra weapons. I made Danse promise me he wouldn't wear his power armor. It was an exhausting conversation which ended in both of us fuming. In the end, he let me win, but begrudgingly.

We boarded into the elevator and he punched the button, still unhappy with me. I prayed Gideon was either asleep or out. I didn't need the headache of the two interacting. It was like cats and dogs.

We dinged to the top floor and I stepped out first, shouldering past Danse. Thankfully not an Irishman in sight. I breathed a relieved sigh and led the way to the entrance. Danse followed me quietly, probably crying tears of blood having to walk past his armor. The sun was in the middle of the sky, hot and dry as usual. I put a hand up, blocking it from view. I glanced back at Danse.

"Where should we start?" I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. He looked around a moment and came to stand next to me. He pointed straight ahead of us. He took point and I trudged behind him, thankful my leg felt almost normal. He had helped me bandage it before we left and it seemed pink and healthy. He remarked on how quickly it was healing. I guess I was still healthy as a horse, despite being exposed to so much sickness and radiation.

I breathed in the air, looking around at the wasteland surrounding us. There wasn't a soul around, which seemed odd. Usually there was a dog, a radstag, raiders, something. But it was remarkably quiet. Danse must have noticed to and stopped in his tracks, scratching the side of his face.

 _"Something seems off,"_ he said slowly, looking over his shoulder at me. I imagined he was aching to be wearing his power armor right about now. "I think someone has been through here," he added, kneeling down and looking at a recent track in the dirt. I knelt beside him and looked at it. I couldn't really tell if it was fresh, but he seemed to know what he was doing. _"Safety's off,"_ he said to me, giving me a very serious look.

 _"I found lunch,"_ said a familiar voice from behind us. I felt my eyes roll to the center of my head and back again. Please, for the love of everything good.

Danse and I looked up to see Gideon, holding his shotgun, at his side, the barrel popped open. He was grinning that toothy grin of his. I wanted to throw up and die.

Danse sighed a very audible sigh and stood to his feet. I slowly stood next to him and stared at Gideon. The visual tennis match began as my eyes darted back and forth. _"You're going to meet the unfriendly end of a gun if you keep skulking around like that,"_ Danse said with annoyance.

 _"Don't be too sore about it Cap'n, I wont scare you anymore, I promise,"_ Gideon goaded. Danse's eyes frosted over and I put a hand on his shoulder. I had to diffuse the situation, quick.

"We were just scouting the perimeter," I started, "And sneaking up on people isn't the smartest thing to do," I finished, pushing my brows together then raising them.

 _"I thought you heard me, my apologies. Guess I'm a bit more stealthy than I thought,"_ Gideon replied, rubbing the back of his neck. I slowly nodded, my eyes glancing back to Danse who I could only imagine was mentally decapitating our visitor. _"Anyway, I guess I'll join you. One more set of eyes couldn't hurt,"_ he said, whipping his gun up and clinking the barrel shut.

"That's alright," I began, but Danse inserted himself without hesitation.

 _"Don't you have someone else to annoy?"_ I groaned inwardly.

 _"Don't be silly Danse, I always have time for you,"_ Gideon winked, slinging his shotgun over his shoulder.

 _"Perhaps I'll escort you back,"_ Danse said, I swore I saw hackles protruding from the back of his neck.

 _"Oh a piggyback ride, I love those,"_ Gideon's wit was as sharp as his kissing. I clenched my eyes shut and pushed the heels of my hands to my temples.

 _"I was thinking a body-bag,"_ Danse quipped, I watched the grip on his gun tighten.

 _"For you or me?"_ Gideon maintained his confident grin even as Danse started moving in his direction.

"Okay, okay, children," I shouted, placing myself between them, though I probably wouldn't stop them from eating each other alive. I was a good foot shorter than both of them, at least. "Can I get a rain-check on this bullshit, please?" I said angrily. Danse turned away, inspecting whatever happened to be near him. Gideon chuckled and smiled with his eyes.

 _"Your boyfriend is a little to tightly wound,"_ he whispered, widening his eyes a flicking a brow at me. I sighed and ran my hand over my face. I stepped towards him and pulled him aside.

"Look, I know you want to help, but it's probably not the best idea." My voice was hushed, nervous.

 _"Why, is this about last night?"_ he said a little more loudly than I appreciated. I gave him a glare that said I will destroy you and all you love.

"This isn't about anything. You can't go three seconds without goading him," I said through my teeth.

 _"I'll behave, I promise,"_ he said, giving me a mock frown. I growled and glanced back at Danse, who was now a few feet away, scanning the horizon.

"Fine," I said in a deflated voice. He happily started after Danse and I followed, quickly cutting him off so there was space between the two of them. I cleared my throat, "Danse, if you don't mind, Gideon will be accompanying us," I said with a fake smile. "Of course unless you'd rather he stay at the bunker alone," I added giving him an expectant look. He eyed the leather-clad man and sighed deeply.

 _"Very well,"_ was all he could muster out and took off again. I was right on his heels. I didn't want him to say anything that would start another pissing match. We couldn't get anything done when they both decided to act like children. Danse had good reason to dislike Gideon, even though he wasn't aware. His reasoning was based on my own mistake of bringing him back. That and Danse just disliked people as a general rule. Especially the ones who talked too much. I could tell you that through personal experience. My own struggles with him were many and it took me a long time to even gain his trust. I think I really was the only exception when it came to people with Danse. And I considered myself beyond lucky to have broken down those walls he had so perseveringly constructed. Gideon had a zero percentile chance of even drilling a hole though that wall- not that he even wanted to. It was an inevitable feud that would exist until both of them ended up corpses. While I would like to say the cause of all this was me, I knew it was just in their nature, woman present or not. Of course my presence wasn't making things easier.

We continued on, making a half circle around the perimeter before coming to a stop in front of a broken down shack. It wasn't much to look at, overgrown with weeds and saw-grass. A lonely water pump stood just outside its door, rusted beyond repair. The front door, half missing, swayed back and forth in the wind, clattering, opening, clattering shut and opening once more. It seemed mostly uninhabited from our viewpoint, but Danse, forever cautious wanted to inspect it on his own.

He started forward, gun raised in his hands. We watched his approach the shack with carefully honed skills. From our position behind him, Gideon and I baked in the hot midday sun. Gideon wiped his wrist across his forehead and heaved a deep sigh.

 _"I bet you woke up thinkin' about that kiss,"_ he said as if he were just talking about the whether. I made a disgusted noise under my breath.

"Hardly," I lied, adjusting the weapon in my hands. He only laughed at me, deciding not to push the subject any further. I welcomed the silence. I could only handle so much of him before I wanted to shove a rust screwdriver into my ear.

Suddenly, the unmistakable sound of a feral ghoul pierced the air like a siren. I looked up to see one running at Danse, head down, arms open like an angry football player. Danse sidestepped and unloaded a few rounds into it, turning the monster into dust. Three others stood up from the tall grass, like prairie dogs. Two headed towards Danse, charging at full speed. A withered ghoul, pale and thin from the sun and hunger made a beeline towards Gideon and I. I took aim and pierced it's upper torso twice, but it didn't even stagger. Gideon let a slug round out, hitting its left arm and completely obliterating it into a fine, red mist. It continued to charge without faltering. He fired his second round, hitting the other arm at the elbow and leaving it hanging by a single tendon. It swung madly at its side like a hangnail. I took a few steps back and fired again, each round reaching the target with practiced accuracy. The withered zombie was relentless, closing the gap with intrepid determination. Gideon quickly reloaded but not quickly enough. The ghoul screeched with fervor and lowered its head like a linebacker. Gideon sidestepped and the monster passed him, stumbling and rolling forward into the swatch of dust and grass behind us. It rolled around for a moment, armless and pitiful. I loaded the rest of my magazine into it until it was motionless. I despised those things.

I heard Danse's voice, hot and angry on a gust of wind. He was firing madly into the shack. He backed up, quickly. I could see the dull radioactive radiance from a Glowing One. My heart skipped a beat and without equivocation, charged forward. The grass, waist high was difficult to maneuver through. I felt a tendril of guilt for making Danse leave his armor behind. In a messy panic I rushed up behind him, feeling the sharp paper-cuts from the saw-grass on my hands and wrists. Before I could react I felt arms around my waist as Gideon hoisted me up and flung me over his shoulder. My rifle clattered to the ground, disappearing in a tangle of grass and weeds. I shouted, kicked and screamed at him. I could hear him fire two rounds at the ghoul, the splinter of slug on skin splattering behind me. I tried to crane myself around, elbowing him in the process.

 _"Settle down,"_ he yelled at me, adjusting me on his shoulder.

"Put me down NOW," I bellowed, fighting him with every ounce of strength I had. Finally he relinquished me and I thudded to the dirt on my stomach. The wind was pushed from my chest in a violent burst of air. I groaned, my hands clutched my stomach for a moment but I couldn't waste any time, Danse needed my help. I rolled to my back and attempted to scrambled to my feet.

 _"Delta!"_ Danse shouted loudly over the wail of the ghoul and screeching of ruthless wind. I caught a glimpse of his face, through the tops of the grass, panicked and fearful. Like something I had never seen before. His eyes were wild and alight with terror. Suddenly, he was blocked from my view by the glow of the ghoul, who was three, maybe four feet in front of me. It dug its heels into the loose dirt, took its mark and charged me with untamed fortitude. My hands gripped the dirt, my heart thudding in my ears. It all seemed to move so slowly, like I was watching a movie. I tried to stand, tried to back away, but the monster was much faster. Its left arm connected with my chest like a metal beam. I could hear the sickening crack of its withered bone snap against me. The force of its hit was so devastating, I hit the dirt again like a bag of wet cement. I wheezed, sounding much like the wind, as every ounce of air was purged from me. My chest shrieked in pain, fiery and excruciating. My hands found their way to my chest, clutching it with shaky fists. I clenched my eyes closed, gasping for air.

Somewhere, hazily in the distance I could hear Danse's voice. I tried to speak, to protest, but all I could manage was a pathetic whimper. I felt a hotness in my leg- my wound surely bleeding profusely now. The pain in my chest was intense, but it had spread to the back of my head. A sticky wetness was dribbling down my neck, pooling at the collar of my uniform. My eyes sputtered and rolled backwards, but I begged them to open. The sky reeled above me, wisp's of blue and white fading from view.

The last thing I remembered was the sound of the ghoul screeching behind me. The splatter of something wet over my face and blackness.

I don't know how long the darkness had claimed me. But I could feel the pain though my body like water was boiling in my veins. My head thudded like a steady drum beat. With every heave of my chest came tendrils of pain tantamount to a thousand tiny daggers. My leg pulsed and with every beat I could feel my wound breathe and sputter forth blood. All I could think was I was dying. That I was dying in the dirt, in a field where no one would find me. I would be meat for the scavengers. Picked clean and recycled like nothing. I thought back to the last few days and felt the sting of hot tears.

I knew death was inevitable, I just didn't know it would be like this. I'd taken on my fair share of ghouls and came out alive on every count. I imagined my death being... dignified. In the heat of a great battle, or slipping slowly into death's arms surrounded by those I loved.

Suddenly, I could hear the whisper of distant voices. I prayed my eyes to open, still on that coppery cusp of unconsciousness, they refused. It was like sleep paralysis, I could feel everything happening, but could do little to stop it. The sound of fabric ripping echoed through my head. My chest screamed, heaved and protested at whatever touched me. The ghouls were eating me. I could feel their nub-like teeth gnawing on the back of my head. I screamed inwardly, tears running down my face. Finally, my body awoke, my eyes sprung open and I sat up, my arms flailing in front of me.

"Get off of me!" I screamed, despite the pounding in my head. "Get off!" I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders, pinning me back down. I screamed at them, my vision still blurry. There were only shadows and colors, nothing more. I fet my body shudder, as if it were giving up once more. I screamed so hard my lungs ached.

 _"Fox!"_ my eyes rolled forward, my hands clenching. I thought I could hear Nate calling me. I really was dying. I was passing over to the other side. This as it. _"Fox!"_ I murmured his name and let myself just die. Just die and be done with it. I could feel the sticky hot salt of my tears run down my cheeks and pool at the dimples of my collarbone.

"It's finally over," I whispered into my blackness, which now felt cold and empty. I was fading and quickly. I welcomed it now, letting myself fade away into nothingness. But before I could let it, a sharp pain traveled up me from my thigh. I just wanted it to be over already.

The pain was followed by the a cool, rejuvenating rush of energy. I gasped, clutching at my chest. My eyes rolled forward once more, sore and tired. My lids, heavily lifted and I was greeted with blue and white. I blinked away my tears, staring out at the broad blue sky. A flock of birds wheeled overhead, black dots against the horizon. I slowly say up and clutched my head in my hands. I groaned into them. What was happening?

 _"Oh thank god,"_ I recognized the voice. I dragged my tired eyes up to Gideon. His face was smeared with blood and dirt, a nasty gash on his brow. He reached down and made sure I wouldn't attempt standing. My eyes shifted lazily forward and found Danse on his knees, heaving heavily. Without a word, he reached forward and placed his hand on the back of my neck. He leaned his forehead against mine and let out a noisy breath.

 _"I thought I lost you,"_ he said with enough emotion to make me widen my eyes. I blinked lazily.

"Not getting off," I started to speak but my chest ached so badly I actually gasped, "That easily," I squeaked. A ghost of a smile was on his face and he moved a strand of sticky hair from my mouth. He backed up then, standing to his feet. I could tell by his movements that he was angry. But I did very little to stop him. I couldn't feel my hands, as they clenched and unclenched fistfuls of dirt.

I saw him, from the corner of my eye punch Gideon squarely in the jaw. I opened my mouth, tasted the bitterness of blood and tears and let my body thud back to the ground. I laid there and listened to them scuffle a few moments. I closed my eyes and only listened, unwilling and unable to intervene.

 _"You son-of-a-bitch, she nearly died because of you,"_ Danse shouted. I nodded slowly, I did almost die. I was pretty sure of that.

 _"Me? It's your fault for even dragging her out here in the first place!"_ Gideon replied hotly. I scowled.

 _"Trust me, she would have come regardless of my permission or not,"_ Danse spat back. I nodded again.

 _"You think you can make her live out here and protect her from all of this?"_ I laid motionless in the dirt. _"She deserves better than that!"_

 _"And you think you could do better?"_

 _"I wouldn't let her waste away in a bunker miles from everything, that's for damn sure. Ya' wont always be there to protect her, you've made that abundantly clear."_

 _"What do you suggest then? Take a look around pal, this is as good as it gets."_

 _"You can keep lying to yourself but there is safety in numbers and all it takes is you taking your head out of your own arse to realize that!"_ Danse was silent. I felt bad for him. None of this was his fault. It wasn't anyone's. Things happened. That was the reality of the Commonwealth. _"She isn't from here and you and I both know she would be safer in the city."_

I finally sat up again. They both swiveled their heads to look at me. "Though you both raise good points, don't you think it's up to me to decide where I will stay?" I said between breaths. "I'm not a child," I said softly, holding the back of my head with one hand. It was slick with blood.

No one said a word after that. We had a long walk back and I was wounded. We trudged on in silence, both men taking turns in assisting me. I couldn't tell you what lie between us and bunker, I was tired and aching I paid little attention to anything other than staying on my feet.

When we finally reached our makeshift home, it was nightfall. Gideon retired to his campfire and Danse took me below. He went about mending me the best he could. As he inched me out of my tattered, bloodied uniform, my body objected. I stood there, half-naked and battered to all matters of hell. He looked at me sadly.

 _"Do you think he's right?"_ Danse said softly, dabbing my bruised chest with a wet rag. I blinked there in the hazy darkness, illuminated by nothing more than a lantern.

"Of course not," I replied wincing as he touched me. "What I think is that you were both angry," I said gently.

 _"I put a lot on you,"_ Danse said, pausing his work and looking up at me. I gave him a softened gaze and brought his hand to my lips, kissing his fingers.

"It's nothing I can't or won't handle," I replied sternly. He stood up and crossed the room, stopping in front of a table and placing the rag into a bucket.

 _"I think you should go back with him,"_ he said softly, bracing the sides of the table with his hands. I reeled at the suggestion.

"I wont go anywhere without you," I insisted.

 _"As long as you're with me, there will always be another battle to fight,"_ he sighed, _"And I know you can hold your own, but I don't want what happened today to ever happen again."_

"I'm not going, Danse, so you can stop trying to convince me. I belong here, with you."

 _"Dammit Delta, I'm telling you I want you to go. Can't you listen to me for once? Who are we kidding? I'm a machine. An exiled one at that. People kill synths for just existing and as long as I'm alive the Brotherhood will kill me on sight."_

"I don't care about that," my voice sounded small and distant.

 _"This will never work,"_ he was putting up those walls I had worked so hard to rip down. Brick by brick.

"Stop it," I chastised him, walking up behind him and placing a hand on his back. He turned around and took my wrist roughly.

 _"I don't love you."_

It was like someone had punched me in my stomach. Like that ghoul had tackled me all over again. I yanked my wrist away and took a step back, coiling up like a viper.

"You're lying," I accused in a shaky voice.

 _"Why do insist on trying to make me a human? I'm not and I never will be. I can't love you. And I never will,"_ he said, lingering on the words bitterly. I could feel my chest tightening, aching.

"Why would you say something like that to me?" I held back a sob. "After everything we've been though. It's like slapping me in the face."

 _"You need to hear it."_ He was angry, fuming almost.

"I'm not going anywhere and you can't make me," I said. All that was missing was an angry foot stamp. I could see his anger broiling in his russet eyes. "You can say whatever you feel like you have to say to make me leave but I won't do it," I seethed, my eyes watery and hot.

We went to bed, Danse electing to move his mattress across the room. I said nothing, too stubborn and too tired to object. I don't know how long he laid there awake, or if he even did. I hoped he did. But sleep graced me gently and I was thankful to escape, even for a moment.


	7. Lost at Sea

_Wow, I'm so happy to see so many positive reviews and kind words. It means so much to me. I've gone a long time without writing, so I'm happy for everyone;s patience and understanding. I love the constructive criticism as well! I have noticed quite a few typos when I read over a few chapters. I apologize for that! I do put all my work through a spellcheck but sometimes these little things escape my scrutiny! I do hope they aren't too horrible to deal with. I also noticed a lot of you have questions but I can't reply due to non-registry. I can't answer them all here, so I'll just answer the ones I remember. I chose to write this because Danse was the only companion I didn't want to dropkick for being annoying, haha! I loved his character, even the rude things he says. I dunno, I guess I have a weakness for the hardy, manly types. As for introducing Gideon, I did think very hard about introducing another companion, versus an OC, but my current plot wouldn't work with anyone. I promise he's here for a reason and I wouldn't put another OC in for just shits and giggles. I also would like to note I had a few struggles with a few chapters. I wanted to stay as true to the campaign while adding original parts as possible. In that way I can see how some parts seemed rushed and not as well done. It's a difficult position I put myself in, given Danse's personality and all, haha. I appreciate everyone's feedback and I apologize for the wait. Also for how short this chapter is, but you'll find it with good reason. So, with all that being said, enjoy!_

* * *

A little bit of overview for the readers who I hope don't get too cross with me. This is obviously a Fic derived from Fallout 4 ( **IF YOU HAVEN'T COMPLETED IT YET, SPOILERS ARE WITHIN, SO HALT!** ) I was dying to write some Sole Survivor/Danse romance. He's an amazing character with, what I felt, tons of layers of angst. But if you've ever gallivanted the Commonwealth, you'll find there isn't a lot of dialogue to work with, so some of his lines may be a tad out of character, bear with me.

On another note, this is my first piece I've written since I had my son two years ago, so the flow will seem a bit choppy and for that I apologize. This is also my first time experimenting with first person (which generally I'm really opposed to) for any errors, I again, apologize! With that being said, I hope you enjoy!

This story is **M** and is suggested for only those 16+

This story has adult themes throughout, I'll tag incoming bits with an **M**. Feel free to skim over it if you'd like!

* * *

 **LOST AT SEA**

I was adrift on the ocean. The waves, peaceful, lapped at my little rowboat as I drifted silently through the waters. I could see no land in sight, nor birds in the sky above me. Neither wind or sound hit me, for the waves stopped and rippled into a hushed, vast span of water. I laid back in my boat and closed my eyes.

The calm forged on, my boat circling with stillness in the placid waters. Abruptly, lightening sprang through the air, tendrils of light and power stemming out into a magnificent tree. Thunder snapped through the air like a mighty dragon, rolling with hunger. My eyes flickered open, staring up at the once cloudless sky. It was black and tumultuous, alight with anger. The lightening cracked again, licking past me like an unmistakable omen. I jumped, huddling down in my boat. The thunder, closer now, screamed at me, bellowing out. I shivered as the heavens opened up, rain pouring forth and filling my boat. The lightening struck again, this time hitting my boat. The wood groaned and splintered, cracking in half. I grabbed the sides as it capsized and the water lapped at my ankles. The mighty storm demanded my blood and I slid into the water.

It was cold and harsh, swallowing me whole. I thrashed and gasped as it pulled me down. I could see the light fade from the surface as the blackness pulled me deeper inside of it. I sank for what seemed like an eternity. Endlessly and helplessly. I did not struggle against my fate or drown. Just, sank. Forever.

I jolted from the mattress, my spine erect, eyes cold and glazed. My breath came out in gusts of strangled fear. I was covered in a cold sweat, even the thin blanket covering me had soaked through. With an anguished whimper, I pushed the heel of my hand into the center of my chest. Willed myself to steady its breathing. Slowly I realized I was not sinking, nor dying in a great abyss of water.

The room was black and heady, silent as stone. I rubbed the sand from my eyes and looked around.

Danse was gone. I didn't have to see the vacant mattress to know. It was as if death had visited me in my sleep.

I jumped from the mattress, nearly tripping over my boots. I ripped the blanket from the ground and wrapped it around my shoulders. I sprinted to the elevator and punched the button repeatedly. It finally left the basement and clicked to the ground floor. As the doors opened, I pushed through them. The flicker of Gideon's fire lapped up the shadows around me. Panicked I ran to the entrance and ran into the sullied, early morning air. It was silent. The only sound was the wind, whipping the leafless trees to and fro. I sucked in a harsh breath of air as the wind played with tresses of my hair. I looked out at the horizon and pulled the blanket tighter. With a rocky breath I lowered myself to my knees, my eyes glued on the distant glow of mushrooms, green and wavering. He was gone.

I sat there in the rising sun for what seemed like forever. The sounds of daylight didn't sway me, I was rooted there like a stubborn little tree. Finally, Gideon came out and silently sat down next to me. He didn't speak or move, just sat there, cross-legged. My eyes never moved from that spot on the horizon.

Gently, he moved a lock of hair from my face, glued by the sticky, salty tracks of tears. He sighed deeply, pitying me, I'm sure.

 _"He left,"_ he stated dully. I didn't reply, still staring vacantly. He touched the wind-kissed skin of my cheek with his knuckles before standing up and leaving me to my own thoughts. Thoughts I really didn't want to be left alone with.

Sluggishly, as the sun neared the center of the sky, I stood to my feet. I trudged into the bunker and found Gideon eating quietly at his fire. I sat down on the wooden bench, wrapping the blanket snugly around my frame. He handed me a bowl of food, nothing of which I was interested in. I shook my head, refusing. He sat it next to me and resumed his own eating. Finally, after a moment he spoke up.

 _"Did you really expect more from that man?"_ he said bitterly. My eyes, dead and soul-less shifted to meet his. I could see the wince visibly as he noted the stillness in me. He quickly spoke again, shifting his eyes to the fire.

"He's not a man," I croaked, my throat hot and dry. Gideon looked at me with a furrowed brow but didn't push the question. As far as he was concerned I was just saying hurtful things out of pain and anger.

 _"Only cowards run away from love,"_ he said gently. I stared at him, considering this with silence. _"Everyone is afraid of something,"_ he added, shrugging almost callously. I silently pushed the bowl of food across the bench, until it clattered to the floor. He looked at me, a small scowl on his face. _"You shouldn't be mad at everyone else, because he abandoned you,"_ he chastised me. I licked my lips, slowly and stood to my feet without a word. He watched me disappear into the back of the room, scratching the side of his face.

Sitting there in that stale darkness watching the sun rise, I think I watched the last good part of me disappear with the blackness.

I laid motionlessly in the darkness of my room for most of the day. I had no concept of time and ate nothing. I was bitter, angry, hurt and most of all, hateful. I analyzed the conversations I had had with Danse. Every last one. Like I was scooping up all my memories of him. Though we had only known each other for a short time, it was like I had lost my last thread keeping me tied to reality. To sanity, almost. When I left the confines of Vault 111, I was angry and vengeful. I looked for anything to kill, anyone to blame. I hunted down Shaun's kidnappers with the fervent determination of a warrior. Nothing stood in my path of destruction. Until I met Danse. Until I was offered something more than chasing memories and striking out vengeance like some twisted wasteland vigilante.

I eased out of bed, leaving behind my tattered covers. I stood before a cracked mirror, foggy with dirt and grime and looked at my reflection with depreciation. A bruise, thick as an arm, deep purple and brown stretched across me like a banner. It hurt to the touch, and the portion across my right ribs screamed with every chestful of air. I had most definitely taken damage to my ribs. The stimpack had healed most of the major damage, but the remnants of my battle still littered me like badges of honor. The hair on the back of my head was sticky and crusted over with blood from my head wound.

I went about washing the blood from my hair and tending to my wounds. The bowl of clean water was sullied crimson in a matter of seconds. I emptied the water and cleaned my face and hands. I brushed the tangles of my hair with my fingers and scrounged for some clothes. I couldn't walk around in only underthings forever. My Brotherhood uniform was split down the middle, so I was left with very few options.

I found a white shirt, dingy and discolored, but still in one piece. I slipped it on with a pair of jeans and reevaluated myself in the mirror. With the blood gone from my face I could see the swell of a black eye and small gash on my lower lip. The damage was vast, but not horrible.

I decided I was ready to eat, and met Gideon up above on the ground floor. He was surprised to see me, but did not speak. I think he was a little afraid to. He fixed me some food, hastily and presented it to me with a smile. I took it, hungrily and ate it silently on the bench. He poked at the fire restlessly and fleeted a glance or two at me. He wanted to speak, I could tell at his fidgeting. I swallowed a spoonful of my food and gave him a deadpan glare.

"What?" I nearly hissed. Gideon stared at me for a moment and sighed heavily, noisily.

 _"Are you just going to mope around forever?"_ he said, throwing his stick into the fire.

"So what if I do? It's no concern of yours," I spat back, my words acidic and heavy. He stood up and I leered up at him.

 _"You would just stay here for the rest of your life, sleeping and eating because of that asshole?"_ he sounded increasingly angry.

"I'll do what I like," was all I replied, setting my bowl down and standing up. I crossed my arms petulantly.

 _"Well I'm not going to wait around and watch,"_ he said, kicking a log lightly with the toe of his boot.

"Well go then!" I shouted, throwing my hands up.

 _"Well fine!"_ he shouted back.

"Good!" I bellowed, giving him a tight, heavy shove. He let it roll through his shoulder and quickly pointed his index finger at me.

 _"Don't start with me,"_ he said, his tone had dropped, much more serious now. I shoved his hand away and aimed a bitter, angry punch. Before I could follow through, he had grabbed my wrist, pinned it behind my back and subdued me.

"Let go," I shouted furiously. I used my free hand to swing my hand over my shoulder and punch him in the mouth. He let go, cupping his bloody lip. As I stepped away I was reminded of our play fight only a few nights ago. This was much different- we were both angry. I with Danse and he with me for being angry in the first place.

Gideon grabbed my shoulders and positioned his foot behind my legs, sweeping forward and knocking me onto my back. He pinned me down by the wrists, quickly, expertly. I wasted no time in kneeing the center between his legs. Cheap shot, but I wasn't playing games. He groaned and fell over, coughing. I stood up, brushed off my clothes and stared down at him victorious.

"I'm going out. Enjoy your dinner," I said curtly. I turned on my heel and toed through the shambled entrance, leaving Gideon defeated on the floor.

Once outside I sucked in a rocky breath and pressed the heel of my hand to my temple. My ribs protested, thick with pain. I subdued a groan and lightly cupped my ribs. Foolish of me to fight with an injury, but I wasn't going to sit there and listen to that man give me advice. I wasn't in the mind to and I was still pretty chapped at him for putting ideas in Danse's head. I kicked a rock with the side of my foot and watched it skitter into the grass noisily. I walked aimlessly forward until I was out of earshot.

Bracing myself against a tree I looked out at the ebbing light in the distance and watched the darkness invade. I bit my lower lip and rested my forehead against the rough bark of the dying tree.

"Why did you have to leave?" I whispered into the nothingness, tracing my finger along my lower lid and flicking away tears. Somewhere, far on the horizon a distant explosion answered me. I ran my teeth over my lower lip and sighed inwardly, "You said you wouldn't leave," my voice shaky and pathetic. I hated crying. I always had. I could remember crying in front of my father for the first time.

 _"Crying never solved anything,"_ he said venomously to me.

My hand wandered down to my ribs, resting ever so lightly on them. I dabbled with the idea of hunting Danse down and turning him in to the Brotherhood. But for all that he had done I knew I still loved him. Was it possible to hate and love someone all at once? It felt like it was. Danse knew everything about me, even my vulnerabilities. I recalled our conversation, when had tried to kill himself. Pouring out to him as if he cared. Yet he left. Without a word. Not even a note.

I kicked the side of the tree lightly and sat down beside it. I began to think Gideon was right. I couldn't sit here and mentally eviscerate Danse forever - though the thought brought me endless amounts of amusement. No, I had to do something. Anything. I could become a ruthless gun for hire. Or a lounge singer. Or sell noodles in Diamond City- I'd be far superior to a malfunctioning robot.

 _"You know, I wanted to have kids someday."_ Gideon's voice broke my precious silence like nails on chalkboard. My eyes rolled and I kept staring forward. I didn't give him the satisfaction of a reply. He stood there behind me a moment, nursing his ego. After a moment, he spoke once more, _"I'm sorry,"_ he said and it sounded genuine.

"For what?" I said quickly, angrily. I knew I should have let him speak, but I couldn't bring myself to exude any bit of kindness.

 _"For what happened,"_ he said, finally coming to sit next to me. He was playing with a stalk of grass, twisting it between nimble fingers. _"You didn't deserve it,"_ he added, flicking the grass and watching the wind take it. I looked at him sideways, my eyes swollen and exhausted.

"It was inevitable," I said firmly. Gideon nodded softly and leaned back, using his elbows for support.

 _"In any case... it happened. Thinking about it isn't goin' to fix it. Neither is beating people up,"_ he teased, grinning at me. I looked at him flatly.

"I did that because you're an asshole," I said unapologetically. He chuckled lightly and shook his head.

 _"I will give you that one. But..."_ he leaned onto one elbow and looked at me with soft, gentle eyes, " _What're you doin' out here? You aren't going to find answers lookin' at rocks and dead trees,"_ he sounded concerned almost.

I took a moment and sighed, "I don't know." Gideon touched my shoulder lightly.

 _"If you'd let me, I can help,"_ he said, eyes flickering. I didn't know what he meant. Not until he kissed me again. Soft and light on the surface of my cheek. I swallowed a lump and felt a smile tug the corners of my mouth.

"Are you this charming all the time?" I whispered, returning his soft gaze.

 _"Only with the pretty girls,"_ he said. I shoved him gently.

"You're disgusting," I said with mock repulsion. He chortled and grinned at me with that little toothy smile.

 _"Well, it isn't my fault I find you so attractive. Even with that shiner,"_ he said tracing my black eye with his fingertip. I rotated my eyes and gave him a raised brow. _"It isn't just how ya' look,"_ he whispered, tapping my lips lightly with the same fingertip. _"I've never met a woman so determined."_

"You must not get out much," I snorted.

 _"No, I mean you don't let anything stop you. You're like, like, a natural disaster,"_ he said, each word filled with excitement.

"Oh, so now I'm a destructive force? Lovely."

 _"I mean you don't let anything stop you. You're a force to be reckoned with,"_ he said as if he were in awe. I laughed so lightly it could barely be heard. _"And the fact that someone like Danse could stop all that, well..."_ he paused and scowled, _"well to be frank, it pisses me off."_

"I think you've put me on too high a pedestal, Gideon," I softly replied.

 _"Ridiculous,"_ he shook his head. He shifted then, to sit in front of me. He took the sides of my face in his hands and stared at me. I wondered what he saw there, in my glazed, blue eyes. _"You are the most amazing woman I've ever met. No, I mean it Fox Delta. Any man who would brush you aside is a damn fool."_ He caressed my lips with his own. More passionately than he had the night he teased me. His lips parted mine and he lightly guided me. He pushed me down, moving his mouth to my jaw and neck. Had he advanced this far before Danse's disappearance, I would have slapped him so hard he'd see stars. But even now, full of anger and resentment, I couldn't make myself let him go.

I sat up and Gideon looked at me expectantly. "I'm sorry, I can't," I said softly, looking down at my hands.

 _"I understand,"_ he gently replied. I could sense his frustration, though I couldn't bare to look him in the eye. _"Let's go inside,"_ he said, taking my hand and standing me up. I winced, cupping my ribs. He watched me carefully, as if I were made of glass.

Suddenly, the skies parted and it began to rain. We both stopped in our tracks and peered up at the blackening sky. I was reminded of my dream for a moment, and watched the lightening flash across the sky. Gideon smiled, the deluge soaking us both almost instantly. We sprinted back to the bunker, huddling around the campfire.

I warmed my hands in front of it, watching the storm rage on outside. Gideon stepped up behind me and handed me a tin coffee cup. I took it and dipped my nose past the rim, taking a small whiff. I recoiled and glared at him.

"Liquor?" I said incredulously. He chuckled, sipping from his own tattered cup.

 _"Well, I think you've earned it,_ " he said, grinning. I rolled my eyes and gentle sipped it.

"I'm not good with liquor," I said, staring down into my cup with half-lidded eyes. It seemed everything I did could lead back to Danse. I drowned out the memory of the night we drank in the barracks, emptying my cup with one large gulp. "Alright, let's have another," I said, tossing him my cup. He caught it with one hand and filled it up. He placed it in my hand and sat down in front of the fire. I watched him a moment, taking long sips from my cup. Finally I sluggishly sat down next to him. My ribs protesting, groaning under my wet shirt. I touched them gingerly with my fingertips and growled. Gideon sighed and looked at me, his mouth pushed the side.

 _"I'm sorry,"_ he said, gesturing to my wound with his head. _"I could have prevented it,"_ he said, swirling the liquid in his cup.

"Don't," I said, looking at him softly. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to think about anything. He nodded and finished off his cup, filling it back up from an unlabeled bottle.

We managed to finish the entire bottle. The night dwindled on and we talked about each other. Gideon was careful not broach any subjects involving Danse. Though, it was difficult. I described the Signal Interceptor to him in great detail, using my hands. His eyes watched me flickering, that toothy grin on his face. I don't think he believed me. In return he told me a story about his childhood. We exchanged the embellished stories, laughing and succumbing to the alcohol with quickness. Eventually our stories had turned into complete lies.

"From that moment on," I breathed, slurring my words, "I was known as the Widowmaker," I said seriously, our faces inches from each other. I burst out laughing, slumping to the ground and laying there, laughing as if I'd just told the greatest joke. Gideon chuckled, watching me with a flexed brow.

 _"The widowmaker?"_ he laughed, tapping the side of his cup. I nodded fervently, sitting back up and closing the distance between us. I whispered, close enough to kiss him.

"Yes... and I was feared among the raiders. They made me their queen," I said, widening my eyes. He laughed again, waving his hand at me dismissing my story.

 _"You are a- an awful liar,"_ he said with a hiccup. I snorted, wavering back and forth where I sat.

"Yeah well you're just awful," I said, flicking his nose with my forefinger. I laughed at myself and raised my cup to my lips. With a look of shock I threw my cup over my shoulder. "Someone, somebody drank all my al-alcohol," I said, looking around the room. Gideon looked down at his own cup and gasped.

 _"Mine too,"_ he said, letting his cup clatter to the ground. He stood up and pulled out his gun, _"Alright you bastard, where are you?"_ I tried to stand up next to him but floundered, falling over and hanging from his arm. I giggled as I hung there like a rag-doll. He stumbled and sat down roughly again. I rolled to my side and laid my head in his lap. I sighed through a burp and giggled again. He stroked my hair, watching the fire with glazed over eyes. I closed my eyes and hummed to myself. For a moment we sat there, escaping reality. It was well deserved and I needed it. To forget about everything and just enjoy his company.

Slowly I raised my head and looked at him. My eyes, frosted over and bruised. Gideon tilted his head and returned my gaze, soft and sullied with liquor. I leaned forward and kissed him, softly. I lingered on his lips a moment, before craning back. He licked his lips and opened his mouth to speak but I stopped him.

"Shhh," I said gently and pressed my lips against his. With the liquor I could purge all those feelings out that kept me back. I could genuinely forget about the Paladin. I could forget about everything.

 **M**

Gideon grabbed me and pulled me closer, tilting his head and reciprocating my every move with hunger and eagerness. His hand found the point underneath my knee, above my thigh and he pulled me into his lap. I straddled him, lacing my arms around his neck. His hands moved without hesitation on me. Blinded by liquor, we explored each other. The storm growled and poured on outside, the campfire flickering over us.

Gently he lifted my soaked shirt over my shoulders, tossing it aside carelessly. He ran his mouth over my jaw and dragged his teeth over my cold skin. His hands held my hips firmly and I sighed gently, smelling the sting of liquor on my own breath.

He stood up, taking me with him, my legs wrapped around his waist. He laid me down gently on his bed, looming over me, a carnal look dancing in his eyes. I closed my eyes as I felt his hands undoing the button on my jeans. My heart raced, my chest heaving. I clenched my eyes, his hands exploring once more. I could barely breathe, my hands gripping the blankets tightly in small fists. He stopped, his mouth hovering above mine. He brushed my lips lightly with his own.

 _"You're shivering,"_ he whispered. I opened my eyes lazily to find his bright hazel pools staring gently down on me.

"Just... nervous," I said, a small smile on my lips. He grinned and bit his lower lip. I didn't know if it was the alcohol but he seemed extremely attractive at that moment. Gingerly he lowered himself, a hand next to my head, the other thumbing my hip.

 _"Do ya' want to stop?"_ his voice thick and inviting. I shook my head slowly, sucking in my lower lip. _"Good,"_ he said, pushing against me. I clenched my teeth, cutting off a moan. He kissed the side of my neck and muffled his own sounds into my skin.

The fire dwindled beside us, disappearing into nothingness with the blackness. The storm ebbed into nothing but the pitter patter of raindrops outside. When we had finally finished, lazily and drunkly, we fell asleep.

When I woke up in the morning, my eyes were heavy and sore. I felt like death warmed over. My head was splitting, my torso, where my wound was, pulsated with a dull pain. I didn't really want to think about what we had done. I just wanted water and to sleep forever. I sat up and scrounged around for my shirt, which was still damp. I pulled it on and slipped into my jeans quietly. Gideon slept soundly, not even moving from his slumped over position.

After I had replaced my wardrobe, I searched for a bottle of water among his things. But was having no luck in locating any. I poked through his bag, the bag he kept on himself wherever we went. I found nothing of use in it, a few pieces of fruit and a box of mentants. I reached into a random side-pocket and pulled out a piece of folded, yellow paper. I opened it and looked down a faded black ink.

My stomach dropped to the center of the earth, my hands shook, clutching the paper with a hard fist. The crudely scrawled words read:

 _Activate M7-97 Recall Code: Nautilus_


	8. The Truth Hurts

A little bit of overview for the readers who I hope don't get too cross with me. This is obviously a Fic derived from Fallout 4 ( **IF YOU HAVEN'T COMPLETED IT YET, SPOILERS ARE WITHIN, SO HALT!** ) I was dying to write some Sole Survivor/Danse romance. He's an amazing character with, what I felt, tons of layers of angst. But if you've ever gallivanted the Commonwealth, you'll find there isn't a lot of dialogue to work with, so some of his lines may be a tad out of character, bear with me.

On another note, this is my first piece I've written since I had my son two years ago, so the flow will seem a bit choppy and for that I apologize. This is also my first time experimenting with first person (which generally I'm really opposed to) for any errors, I again, apologize! With that being said, I hope you enjoy!

This story is **M** and is suggested for only those 16+

This story has adult themes throughout, I'll tag incoming bits with an **M**. Feel free to skim over it if you'd like!

* * *

 **THE TRUTH HURTS**

I could only remember being so enraged, once in my life. I was ten. Your typical school reject. My father ever-absent, my mother the town oddity. One of the girls in my class had pushed me down into a patch of thick mud. I laid there in shame, tears running down my face. A group of cackling children surrounded me like a childish cult, chanting some sickening little rhyme. I remember feeling that hot little flame inside of me. Pale and bruised at first. With each lyric and sneer it flickered a little brighter. My body engulfed in hatred and pain.

Before I could even consider the repercussions of my actions I had stood to my feet, sweltering and seeping with fury. The leader of the pack hesitated, her eyes suddenly glazed with fear. I flung myself at her, my little body tackling hers like an untamed animal. All the pain and anger in my little self poured out in a fury of wailing punches. Relentlessly, I attacked her and nothing could stop me. Not the silence of the children surrounding us or the desperate cries and commands of a passing teacher.

Needless to say, I was not allowed back to school after that episode. I spent the rest of the year under my grandmother's tutelage. She made sure to remind me frequently of what I had done. That one incident had scared me so badly I spent the years leading up to this point keeping that little bruised flame in check as best I could. Briefly, it would spark and wane. The attack on the super mutants was a prime example. That cusp of insanity was numbing.

Now, here, with that tattered piece of paper clutched in my fist, I felt that familiar pang of rage. It swelled and exploded inside of me. My chest heaved, fingernails clenching into my palms so tightly I surely drew blood. My eyes unpredictable and blazing, looked at Gideon's sleeping form with feral wrath.

I moved slowly with calculation to the heap of clothes on the floor next to his bed. I knelt down, my eyes never leaving him. I slid his handgun from its holster, holding it with one steady fist. I stood, slowly, aiming it at him. Silently, I stood there, aimed down the sights at his sleeping body. I could feel the pulse of anger in my temples, down my arms and in the back of my head.

The room was silent, save for the loud coking of the gun as I pulled back the hammer with my thumb. Gideon awoke, looking over his shoulder from the place on his belly. A bewildered look skittered across his face.

"Fox?" he said unsteadily, putting his hand up protectively. I breathed shallowly now, my eyes full to the brim with hot, vengeful tears.

"You fucking bastard," I seethed through clenched teeth. I tossed the crumpled piece of paper at him. It hit his chest and tumbled onto the mattress. He didn't need to look at it to know what it was. He looked up again, eyes stony and unfamiliar. I knew who he was now and I could see the calculative eyes of a cold killer there in front of me. "Who sent you?" I said, arching my neck to look down the barrel at him. Despite the crazed look on my face, he smiled and shook his head. I took a step closer, "Who sent you?" I shouted, my voice sharp and unhinged. Gideon sighed, that sickening grin still on his face.

"I think you know who sent me," his voice was slimy and confident. I wanted to pistol whip the life out of him.

"The Brotherhood," I breathed shakily. Gideon winked and nodded. I knelt down on the mattress and let the cold metal of the barrel caress his chest. "Where did they find the recall code?" I said hotly. He looked up at me, unafraid.

"I don't know the details love, I just do the job," he shrugged. I pushed the barrel against him roughly.

"Where is he?" I said angrily. I could feel that flame growing and it scared me like nothing else.

"I don't know where he is, I-" before he could finish his sentence I had pistol whipped him across the face, hard. He buckled and brought the back of his hand up to a gash in his lip. He chuckled and shook his head. "I like that about you, Fox. You don't give up," he said, wiping his bloody hand on the front of my shirt. I never broke eye contact, looking at him like my carrion to be devoured. He sighed and ran his tongue over his gashed lip, "If I knew where he was, I wouldn't tell you." I lowered myself until my lips hovered over his ear.

"I don't usually say this," I breathed, "But I'm going to enjoy killing you." I backed up, forcing my heady gaze on him. I grabbed his jaw in one hand shoved the barrel of the handgun into his mouth, shutting it around it tightly. His hand grabbed my wrist, but I fleeted a warning glance. He swallowed, eyes now dancing deliciously with horror. "Now," I started, my finger a ghost on the trigger, "Before I paint this wall with your brain matter, you can give me answers," I said gently. I could see the panic in his pools of hazel, looking to and fro.

Abruptly, he had twisted my wrist until I heard a snap. I shouted as the gun fell, bouncing off the mattress and clattering onto the concrete. Lithe and experienced, he punched the center of my stomach and kicked my legs out from under me, sending another sickening snap into the air at the point of my ankle. I fell to my side, gasping for air. But I couldn't lay there, I had to push past the pain in my wrist and the dull ache in my gut. I rolled to the floor, but he was quickly on top of me, kicking the gun out of my reach. He put a knee into the center of my back and pressed his hands into the back of my shoulders. Eagerly, victorious, he spoke with a heaving voice.

"You've got spunk kid, I'll give you that," he said through a smile. I laid there, my face crushed into that cold, filthy concrete. The flame ebbing away and taking my strength with it. "But you aren't meant for this world," his haughty voice sending tendrils of hate though me like a poison in my veins.

"Fuck you," I said through clenched teeth, my chest screaming from the weight on my back. He laughed, standing up and picking up the gun. I laid there on my stomach like wounded prey. I heard him open the chamber, spinning the mechanism and pouring the rounds out into his hand. I closed my eyes, steadying myself for what would follow.

"Let's play a game," he said, loading one round into the chamber and snapping it shit. He pulled back the hammer and pointed the gun at me. "Every time I pull the trigger and the bullet doesn't fire, gives you one chance to take it back," he said, clicking the trigger. The hammer fell and I clenched my eyes shut. But nothing fired. He smiled and nodded his head. "You're running out of chances, darling," he goaded, pulling back the hammer again. I slowly stood to my feet. I wavered, my left arm hanging limply at my side. He tilted his head and smiled at me. "Oh, still a little fight left eh? Atta girl," his voice dripping with sarcasm. He pulled the trigger again. The hammer fell and purged nothing once more. He whistled and grinned from the side of his mouth, "You've got some luck."

I slowly limped past him and he cocked the hammer again. He didn't turn around, just laughed, "You're going to try and run now?" he said in disbelief. I took his pause as an advantage and picked up a piece of rusted rebar from the floor, clutching it in my good hand. He slowly turned and pointed the gun at me. "What are you going to do with that, love?" he said shaking his head.

Gideon pulled the trigger one final time. The hammer fell down into a silent click. The moment of silence following seemed to go on forever. I took the rebar in both hands, my broken wrist screaming. Everything moved with a perfect slowness. I arched back, swinging my elbows and shoved the rebar into his bare stomach all the way up to my wrist. All the way through his back. He screamed in painful disbelief, dropping the gun and holding the rusted piece of metal with both hands. I let go and staggered back, "Ad Victorium, you sick son of a bitch." He fell to his knees, still reeling. I dropped to my knees before him, cradling my wrist. I wanted to watch the life drain from his eyes. He sputtered blood and finally fell to his side, the last breath purged from his chest with a pathetic gasp.

I sat there on my knees in that dusty stillness, still trying to wrap my mind around what was happening. I could feel the tears on my cheeks as I laid down and curled up. I was truly alone, now.

I don't know how long I slept, but it was still daylight when I finally awoke. Gideon's lifeless body lay next to me, bloody and defeated. My body ached, tired of fighting this fight. It was supposed to be over. I was supposed to be happy. Instead I laid defeated on that filthy fucking floor. I took in the hazy afternoon light, my eyes sore. The dust danced around in the columns of light, fading into the shadows and out of view. The distant sounds of the wasteland echoed outside the entrance. I could hear the slow drip of water somewhere in the darkness. I could also hear the labor of my own breathing. I had damaged my ribs again. I could feel them shifting under sinew and skin. Gently I lifted myself up to a standing position.

I was not in good shape. I immediately started rummaging around for a stimpack. I found one in Gideon's things, and sat down on the mattress. I felt the undulate of shame as I remembered what had taken place last night. I hissed and kicked an overturned bucket across the room. I shoved the stimpack in one swift movement, into the thickness of my thigh. I felt the cool rush of adrenaline and blur of excitement. I stood up, my ankle no longer sharp but still weak. My wrist felt almost normal.

I grabbed a bottle of water and poured it over my head, tousling my hair and taking a few swigs. I couldn't stay here anymore. I had to find Danse. Those Brotherhood pricks were not going to get away with what they had done. If it was… if it was too late for Danse, I would make them pay. I would make them rue the day they sent that psychotic mercenary to my doorstep.

I packed only the bare essentials; ammunition, medical gear, food and water. I wrapped a strip of fabric around my ankle and headed towards the entrance. I turned around and took a long look at Listening Post Bravo. I remembered the last conversation Danse and I had together. I don't know if he truly never loved me or was taking advice from Gideon. But I couldn't let Maxson and his dogs destroy him out of some sick sense of justice. Not while I was still breathing. Even if Danse couldn't love me back, I still loved him with every ounce of me. Machine or not.

I knew the route back to the Prydwen well, having traversed it before. The trip was infinitely easier, knowing where raiders and the like resided. I had to stop occasionally, but never longer than a few hours at a time. I spent the night in an old shack as a radiation storm rolled in, but couldn't sleep. I was plagued by distant memories and the numbing fear that Danse was gone forever. That I wouldn't ever see him again. At least when I thought he left by choice, I held onto the hope that we would see each other someday. I tried to deny the fact that I missed him so dearly. I missed everything about him. His voice, even though it was grating at times. His lack of humor, his superiority complex. The touch of his skin, the way he smelled. It was slipping through my fingers like sand. I couldn't remember what his eyes looked like, or the sound of his sleeping.

I stood before the mighty Prydwen, stilling my heart. I didn't try to kid myself; I had no clue what I was doing. I was going in blind. Surely Maxson knew I would show up again with Danse out of the way. They wouldn't be surprised with my presence, so that was my advantage. I knew they had to be holding Danse on the ground, in a cell… if he was still alive. I prayed with all my heart that he was still living. That I wasn't chasing a corpse. There was no good reason for them to keep him alive this long. The whole point of procuring him was to get him out of the way. To dole out that twisted Brotherhood brand of justice.

I entered the base, cautiously. A Knight clad in power armor stood watch a minigun in hand. I nodded my head slightly in greeting. He watched me and spoke with a raspy voice.

"Good to see you again Knight Delta," he said as I walked by. The skin on my arms was broken out in cold gooseflesh. Sweat was building on the nape of my neck and hairline. I could never fight my way out of this. I was invariably screwed.

The base was quiet, for the most part. Knight's stood at their posts, Scribes walking back and forth, jotting down on clipboards. Vertibirds loomed overhead, the Prydwen rumbling like a dragon in the air. I made my way to where I knew the cells were. Everyone watched me with curious eyes, exchanging glances, whispering amongst themselves. I tried to keep my head up, my eyes in front of me. I kept mentally reassuring myself. I could do this, I was going to do this. I had to. I couldn't live not knowing what had become of Danse.

The cells were in a dingy, half collapsed building towards the back of the base. An initiate was on guard at the first door. I knew he wouldn't let me past. I had to improvise. I approached the timid looking boy and straightened my shoulders. I dug inside of me for a authoritative voice.

"I'm your relief, initiate. You're needed aboard the Prydwen." It came off sounding rude more than commanding. He blinked at me, confused.

"I was just posted here, Knight," he replied, a tone of suspicion in his voice. I steeled my voice a bit more.

"Questioning an order?" I said raising a brow and tilting my head downwards. I almost felt bad that this poor kid was going to get the ass chewing of his life.

"No ma'am," he said quickly, standing straight and giving me a curt nod. I gestured with my hand and he scurried away, tossing a glance over his shoulder. I didn't have much time, so I quickly shouldered the door and walked in.

The hallway was long and dark. A single dirty bulb hung at the end of the hall, illuminating very little. I quickened my pace and jogged to the end, taking a sharp turn to face a row of dirty cells. The first was empty, save for a sleeping bag and an old plate covered in dirt. The second housed a sleeping soldier, who I knew instantly was not Danse by the lack of hair on his head. I came to the third and paused. Nothing. I growled under my breath, continuing on to find three more empty cells. I kicked the bars lining the last cell and turned around to find a red door that was barred from the outside. I quickly pushed the piece of wood from its cradle and flung it to the ground. I pushed open the rusty door and was greeted by yet another dark hallway. I ran, full sprint and took a sharp right turn. There were three more doors, each barred with a single glass window in the upper center. I peered into the first dusty window and my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach.

There he was.

Danse was seated on a rusty chair, his hands tied behind his back. He was slumped over, wearing nothing but pants and shoes. His dogtags laid in the dirt along with a shirt and a dented, old wooden bat, spattered in blood. I shoved the bar from the door and rushed in. I was shaking so violently I could barely move. I sank to my knees in front of him and peered up at his hanging head.

"Danse," I whispered, touching the side of his jaw. He didn't move. I grabbed his arm and shook it lightly, repeating his name several times like some kind of mantra. After my failed attempts at rousing him, I pulled a bottle of water from my pack. "Please," I begged in a hushed tone. I turned the bottle over and splashed it on his head. He awoke with a groan, flinging his head back in a hazy panic. I put my hands on the side of his face. "I'm here, its me, Fox," I said, willing myself not to cry. "Everything is going to okay," I assured him. He blinked up at me through blackened eyes. They had battered him to an inch of life. I barely recognized him.

"Delta?" he said hoarsely, looking at me as if I was some kind of ghost. I nodded, smiling through a small, subdued sob.

"Why did they do this," I said, glancing around. He swallowed harshly. I could hear the click of his dry throat. I put the bottle of remaining water to his lips and forced him to drink. He guzzled thankfully, nearly drowning himself in the process.

"The think I know where the Institute is," he groaned, clenching his eyes shut. I tried not to focus on how angry I was. How my blood boiled at the sight of Danse beaten and tortured. I quickly went about untying him with unsteady hands. "They'll kill you," he said, looking over his shoulder at me. I didn't pause nor falter.

"They can try," I said, finally taking a knife out and cutting the cord with a swift yank. Danse fell from the chair, the weight of his own body too much to bear. I scuttled to his side, kneeling down over him. "We have to get out of here," I said, glancing up at the doorway. He answered with a thick groan. I pulled his arm over my neck and pulled him to his feet. I think the man weighed at least three tons.

Out of nowhere I could hear the approaching march of combat boots and shouting. I panicked, looking around desperately for another exit. I dragged a half-conscious Danse into the hallway and ran past the two other cells, hitting a deadend. I hissed between my teeth and spun around. The soldiers rounded the corner, three of them, Maxson following suit. My chest heaved violently, cornered like a rat.

"Knight Delta," Maxson said in a raised voice. I could tell he was not only outraged, but shocked at my betrayal, "Its unfortunate to see you again under suck circumstances. It's a shame, a promotion was waiting for you aboard the Prydwen," he sighed, craning his neck to look down his nose at me. The flame in his eyes let me know he fully intended on killing us both right then and there. My mind reeled and skipped, searching frantically for a way out. An idea sparked to life and my eyes flickered with imminent victory.

"I hate to break it to you, Elder," I said through heavy breaths, "But I'd really just prefer if you'd kindly go fuck yourself," I reached into the belt hanging crookedly from my waist and pulled Gideon's handgun from its holster. I pointed at him at him steadily. "When you get to hell, tell Gideon I say hello," I said through a sadistic little grin. I fired, the round bursting forth with a loud reckoning crack. It struck the Elder in the upper chest like a ten ton battering ram. He was flung into the concrete wall behind him.

All three men opened fire on me. They expended their entire magazine, the wall behind us littered with holes and crumbling under the force of their heavy fire. As the dust settled, Maxson sat up, his face bewildered and defeated. I wish I had seen what it looked like. We had vanished in thin air and the blue haze of electricity.

Instantaneously, we were at the Institute. I had nearly forgotten that one of Father's people had installed a courser chip on my Pipboy.

I fell, exhausted onto my knees, laughing lightly between breaths. Danse laid on the floor, beside me. I rolled him to his back and tapped his cheek. His eyes rolled back and he looked up at me.

"What did you do?" he whispered weakly. I looked around then back down at him.

"Saved you," I said simply. He sighed lightly and swallowed.

"Thank you," he said but I could tell it was difficult for him to even say those words.

"I'll be right back," I said, standing up. I recognized the circular alcove I had traveled to on my first visit to the Institute. I had to get help. I was no doctor and Danse wasn't looking very good. I jogged to the tube-like elevator and took it up to the top floor. The floor where I had met Shaun for the first time since Vault 111. The doors hissed open and I hastily sprinted into the room. I opened the next pair of doors and found Father sitting at a desk, looking over a pile of paperwork. He looked up, unsurprised to see me. "Shaun," I breathed, happy to see him again.

"Mother," he said flatly. My heart ached to hear him say that. I approached the desk and kneeled next to him. "We've been waiting for you to return," he said, shuffling his papers. I tried to subdue a crooked smile. I wanted to hug him, to take him in my arms like I used to do. I felt the pang of guilt for what I had done. For betraying my own son to the Brotherhood. I swallowed a lump in my throat nervously.

"I need your help," I said, taking his hands in mine. He looked at me curiously.

"Of course. What is it?" he asked gently. I didn't know how he would react. I didn't know if he would understand or condemn me. But I had to try. I couldn't fix Danse on my own. I stood up and took a few steps towards the door.

"My friend is hurt," I motioned with my hand. Shaun stood up, his brow furrowed angrily.

"You brought someone here?" he asked heatedly. I shook my head.

"I don't have time to explain Shaun. Just know I had no other option." He only stared at me, taking in everything with that calculative looked he had inherited from his father. "Please, hurry," I said desperately. He sighed inwardly and grabbed a white bag from a drawer in his bag. He followed me to the elevator, trying to keep up.

We reached the bottom and I could barely wait for the doors to open. I jogged to the alcove and kneeled beside Danse, putting my hand on his shoulder. Shaun stepped into the circle and stared down at me with a hard gaze. He kneeled down, setting his bag down next to him. He immediately went about his work. I watched his every move with careful eyes. As he finished his exam and bandaging what he could, he stood to his feet with a loud sigh.

"He's a synth," he said sternly. I stood up, clenching my hands together in front of me.

"He is," I responded softly. Shaun shook his head slowly and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

"He's not a real person, mother. Just a machine," his words were chastising.

"I know what he is. I also know he saved my life," I said slowly, looking down at my feet. Shaun looked at me, as if I were a silly little child. I sucked in a rocky breath. "I love him," I whispered, my lower lip quivering slightly. Shaun gazed at me as if I'd just punched him in the face.

"He will never love you back, you know this?" I just nodded slowly, pushing my lips together. "I'll save him. But, I can never approve of this," he added. I looked up, surprised. He knelt down again and administered a shot of Med-X. "I'll send someone down to bring him to a clean room. He's suffered a mass amount of damage I'm afraid," he said mostly to himself.

Shaun left through the elevator, turning around to give me one last, lingering look of disappointment. I hung my head shamefully, looking at Danse's bruised face. He opened his eyes slowly. I sat down, cross-legged next to him. He watched me, not saying anything. I didn't expect him to. The silence was excruciating. I forced myself to speak, breathy and shaky.

"You left me," I said painfully. Danse closed eyes, almost annoyed and turned his head to the side, looking away from me. "You can't even look at me," I said, my voice a near whisper. Of course he remained silent. Even if he knew it would make me angry. I opened my mouth to speak but was interrupted by an orderly.

"Ma'am?" he said, another coming to stand next to him. They were holding a stretcher. I let them do their work, following quietly behind them.

Once they had set us up in a clean room and left, I sat down next to Danse with a bowl of clean water and a few white rags. He watched me as I soaked one and cleaned the dried blood above his brow. I refused to make eye contact with him. I dipped the rag back into the water and wrung it out. As I lifted my hand to dab at his brow again, he grabbed my wrist. I flicked my eyes to his.

"Stop," he said, his voice firm. I dropped my hand into my lap and just stared at him, puzzled. "You don't have to do this, Delta," he inhaled. I tilted my head, and ignored him. He sighed annoyed as I continued my work. I managed to clean his face so he looked somewhat like himself. After I had turned the water into a ruddy color, I set it on the stand and sat back down. He closed his eyes, laying his head back. I didn't speak and he wouldn't have replied anyway. The silence continued until we had both fallen asleep. I think we must have slept for at least twenty-four hours. It was dark when I woke up.

My eyes were tender and swollen. My body hated me for falling asleep sitting down. I rubbed the grog from my eyes and looked over Danse. He looked much better. I didn't know if anyone had come and gone during my slumber but I was thankful they didn't wake me. My stirring must have woken Danse, who's eyes found mine in the darkness. I thought he'd be surprised to see me, but then again, he knew how stubborn I was. I looked away, pretending to not care. Which we both knew was a bald faced lie. The silence was shattered by his gruff voice.

"You should leave," he said, sitting up. He touched his ribs tenderly and began to unwrap the bandage around his midsection. I whipped my head back and narrowed my eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere," I hissed. He ignored me and dropped the unwrapped bandage onto the table next to his bed. He stretched his back and ran a hand through his hair, which had grown in my absence. "You're an asshole, I hope you know that," I said quietly to myself. Danse just sighed, giving me a deadpan glare.

"I didn't ask for your rescue. I said thank you. What else do you want?" he said roughly. I couldn't deny how much those words hurt.

"Nothing," I said petulantly. I crossed my arms and leaned back in my chair.

"What are you waiting for, Delta?" he said, swinging his legs to the side and standing up slowly. I watched him as he tested his legs, walking across the room to get a bottle of water. I swallowed the pain in my chest. The pain he kept inflicting on me. It was like he didn't care about me at all. Ever.

"Is it so bad that I care about your wellbeing?" I said hotly. He drank from the water, wiped his mouth with his arm and looked at me.

"Yes," he said flatly. I growled under my breath and rolled my eyes. When had he become so cold? I didn't understand and he wouldn't let me.

"Well, too fucking bad," I said smugly.

"Why are you so goddamn stubborn?" his voice raised ever so slightly.

"Because I can't just wipe away the past like it never happened," I shouted, standing up angrily.

"I advise you start to learn," he said simply. I took a few steps towards him.

"Stop throwing this pathetic pity party. You think you're the only one with problems? Look around you, you shitbag, The world is filled with sob stories and yours is not any worse than anyone else's." He bristled at my words.

"Coming from the woman who can't let anything go. Not even a life from two-hundred years ago?" he spat back at me. "Your kid and husband were taken from you, we get it."

I crossed the room quickly and slapped him across the face.

"How dare you," I said, breathing heavily. "I confided In you and you throw that in my face?" I clenched and unclenched my fists, trying to ebb away the anger swelling up inside of me.

"That's the past," he said, eyes wild and hot, "Pack it up and move on." I raised my hand to slap him again but he grabbed my wrist in midair and held it there. I struggled to loosen his grip, but he held on with ease. "Life is unfair. Life is a bitch and then you die, Delta. That's how it is. Nothing changes and things wont always go your way. Stop being so fucking childish and accept it," he said.

"I can't," I practically screamed at him, ripping my wrist out of his grasp and holding it in my own hand. He looked at me as if I was pitiful. "I can't stop loving someone just because they want me to," I said, a breath hitched in my throat. "You can be as mean as you want be, but I can't stop loving you, Danse." He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up to his face, our noses nearly touching.

"I can't love you Fox," he shouted, giving me a light shake, "Every day I love you is one more chance that you'll die," he said letting go of me roughly. I stumbled and forced my eyes on him.

"I don't care," I said, a chord of despair in my voice. I felt like I was praying to a god who would never grant me my wishes. A holy prayer on my lips. "I don't care if I die tomorrow. Or five minutes from now. Even if you leave me again I can't and I will not stop loving you," I whispered through a hitched sob. He ran a hand through his hair and gazed at me with those brown, dark pools.

"If you died because of me," he said shakily, "I could never live with myself." I could see the shimmer in his eyes and I let out another sob, grabbing him in my arms and hugging him tightly. I buried my face in his chest and let the tears fall. He slowly wrapped his arms around me. "I would rather live without you, knowing you are alive than watch you die," he said slowly, quietly in that inky darkness. I stepped back, his arms falling to his sides. "That day in the field scared me more than anything I have ever faced." I nodded, blinking through my tears.

"You don't want me," I cried, turning away from him to wallow in my display of sadness. He quickly approached me and took me in his arms.

"Don't you dare say that," his voice thick. "I've never wanted anything or anyone as much as I want you in my entire life. Don't you understand how hard it was to stay away from you? Every day I was gone was like an eternity," he chided me. "I have never stopped loving you," he whispered. I hiccupped, staring up into those longing eyes.

Danse lowered his mouth on mine and kissed me. I felt the jolt of desire inside of me, for I had longed for his touch for so long. I had missed the taste of him far more than I cared to admit. I kissed him back, fervently. My hands were untamed, aggressive, nearly feral. He slowed me down and pulled back.

"Let me just hold you," he said gently, wiping the tracks of the tears from my cheeks with his thumb. I nodded slowly. He kissed me once more, tilting his head and parting his lips. I did my best to contain that carnal need I had for him. His hands were on either side of my face, gentle yet firm. We seemed to melt into one person. I never wanted to let go. I wanted to just continue to exist in that one single moment. I could feel with every touch of his skin that he couldn't let go of me. I didn't want him to. He didn't break away from me, even when he lifted me onto the bed and loomed over me. His hands felt like paradise on my skin. Every part of me was on fire like I'd never felt before. I had him many times before but it felt like it was our first time touching one another. His touches lingered, his movements slow and careful. He was in no rush, taking me in and keeping it there, reveling in my flesh as if it was sacred. I forgot everything in that moment and I was so thankful for it. I forgot what we had put each other though and what we would continue to do to one another. I forgot that he had hurt me so deeply and entirely that I lost pieces of me I don't think I could ever get back.

As we both laid there, panting and exhausted, he spoke to me through the blackness, "I'm sorry," he said quietly. I rolled to my side and laid my head on his chest.

"I forgive you. I always do," I replied. I rolled my head and rested it on my forearm. "Say it again," I said biting my lower lip.

"Say what?" he said raising his head a little to look at me.

"What you told me that day in the radiation storm."

He was quiet for a moment. The silence scared me. He sighed inwardly and placed a hand on my hip, laying his head back down.

"I love you." My heart swelled. "I will always love you."

I didn't know what would happen. Or where we would go, or if we'd even go together… but at that moment I didn't care. I knew he loved me and that was all I needed.


End file.
